Episode notes
Transcript
Download .txt264 timestamped passages
What's up? Good morning, good evening, good night, good afternoon, whatever time you're listening in, wherever you're listening from.
Shout out to my Spotify listenership, Apple and Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube if you're watching in.
Big shout out to Empower 610 Day.
Coming live from my voice to your phone, headphones, TV, or car stereo, your attention could have been anywhere in the world, but it's here right now.
Take a moment to be present and recognize that it is now, right now.
Whether you're right now is running, working, exercising, cleaning, laying down, flying,
driving, be grateful we're alive, baby.
Failure can be frightening.
However, as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from failure to
failure without losing enthusiasm.
This is I Will Not Lose podcast, where we set out to prove that everything is learned
from failure, and we must persevere and recognize it as one step closer to success.
I'm here to help you navigate the rocky path to success one episode at a time.
Today, we're diving into a topic that touches us all, whether your pursuit is personal or
career leveling up.
We're going to talk about the power of networking, building relationships that last.
And in the spirit of failure, in the spirit of the theme of the podcast, I'll talk about
how bad I was at networking when I first got started, some mistakes and pitfalls.
and I'll put my head out on the stakes so that you guys don't have to make the mistakes I made.
You can be powerful networkers right from the great. So the pitfalls, the stumbles,
the blunders along the way, as we explore these topics, I'll dive into some of my own personal
anecdotes. And hopefully on the end, we can come out stronger, more resilient, and more connected
it to the other side. You ready? All right. Well, you see the shirt I'm wearing. Big shout out to
Empower 610 Day. For the listeners that don't know, that was a hip hop showcase for the Allentown
Summer Concert Series. It's a historic event because it was the first hip hop event that the
Summer Concert Series had. So big event, tons of great turnout. The mayor came out and had an
opening statement. Uh, so it was a really great day, tons of vendors and live performances from
local artists. So I had a great time. Uh, it was great for networking as well. I met a ton of great
contacts that I'm excited to build relationships with. And so it got me thinking about this
episode. I thought, you know, I could talk a little bit and recap some of the events and just
talk about how, if I was there five, 10 years ago, trying to network at that event, how completely
terrible i would have done man i would have turned people off so these are the big things that uh
people make as mistakes i'll kind of try to run through them but overzealous selling uh you try
to push your services or products too hard you're just going to turn people off everybody knows that
person that comes in and you know it's it reminds me of uh was it coming to america where the guy
had the jacket full of things and he opens it up he's like i got toothbrushes i got mirrors it's
like, you don't want to be that guy. You don't want to be that guy. So when I first got into
networking, I tried to sell not only things that I sold, but stuff that other people sold. I figured,
well, if I can get somebody interested in it, I know where to source it and I can go from there.
So then you look like the jack of all trades, master of none, but it was bad. Don't try to
sell yourself. Be an active listener. So a lack of active listening is one way that people find
themselves dropping to the barrel of networking super quick. So show a genuine interest. Make
other people feel valued. One thing that I try to do is I repeat back what the person is saying
in real time in my head. This keeps me active listening. Things pop into your head. You want
to interject with how you can solve their problem, but they're not even done telling you what their
problem is. So repeat back what they're saying in real time and you'll be actively listening.
Um, networking should be a two way street. If you don't reciprocate, just leads to unbalanced relationships. So it's not just a matter of what can I sell to this person who can buy what I do? It's how can I bring benefit to these people in the room or at the park or at the event? You know, what can I do to bring value to them?
So I always ask, who would you like to meet? You do videography. What's a good client for you? Do you like to shoot weddings? Who can I connect you with? So by building value, you definitely create a relationship. And it's not just like a parasite. You're not just leeching off of people.
you know you don't want to take relationships for granted it just weakens connections so a lot of
things i'll do a couple of things i'll do is i'll go through my messenger and i'll look who was the
last person that i messaged who haven't i messaged in a while that we had a conversation going and
i'll just try to bring the mess the bring the conversation back you know messenger keeps your
messages there for years so if you don't get in touch with somebody in a few months you can always
see right where the conversation left off and go from there. Other things I'll do is I'll hang out
in Discord channels just to stay connected with friends. Even if I'm not playing the games that
they're playing, you know, I'll stick around in the chat and just hang out, pop in every now and
then, make an appearance, and just try to keep connections fresh because I value them, you know.
Sticking around after a networking event, that's where the networking happens. You know, after
everybody's left and everybody's rushed to get where they're doing stick around talk to some
people that are sticking around as well uh or before the event they call it the meeting before
the meeting or the meeting after the meeting but super super super uh important other things that
can kill relationships inconsistency so like they say uh infrequent or erratic communication
don't get left on read you know i purposely i won't open my messages if i get a message from
somebody. I'll read the like the excerpt, the first couple of words, but I won't actually open
the message because then it'll show them that I read it and they might think that I'm actually
sitting there. I could be driving and it pops up real quick. I won't go to read it. Or if I'm in
the middle of a phone call or something and I can't respond back and actually give it the attention
that it deserves, I won't even open it. And that's a great way to not leave people thinking that
you're not getting back to them or you're not avid with your follow-up you know um it just
sends a bad message so that leaves you into like one-sided communication where you know
messenger is a great way to see it you know i'll keep coming back to that but even text messages
you see wow this person has reached out to me on three different days and i haven't responded to
any of them it's right there it's time stamps you know you can see what the person is doing
so that's not a great message that you want to send whether that be relationships in business
or relationships personally you know we want to level up on all ends so um this day and age of
digital social media and um or if you want to just call it media now there's not so much social
anymore but it paints a great landscape for meeting new people and painting a digital picture
of yourself but some of the ways to be ineffective in online networking is to always have like an
impersonal approach like no take some of the same principles of networking and doing things in real
life and apply them to the digital world so like don't send me a copy and paste that i can tell
you copy and pasted to everybody on your messenger it's like i got a 13 year old and you don't know
I have kids, but you're asking me to click on your music video or something. It just shows that
you only see one way out of this relationship. And you probably didn't even realize you sent
me the message. You probably copy and paste it and send it to a whole bunch of people. So
one of the reasons I stopped using LinkedIn a while ago was because it felt like all the
activity was suggested. It felt like somebody had written me a recommendation because LinkedIn
asked them to and they kind of gamified it and this person was trying to get a whole bunch of
recommendations out so they could get recommendations back and i just felt super impersonal so
um whether you're on digital or whether you're in person you got to have professional etiquette man
um it can damage your reputation so if you're online and you're constantly posting with emojis
and stuff sure dude there's an audience for that but like i don't know you there's other people
that are reading it that might think based on the way that you communicate online that that affects
your intelligence in real life like people really do subconsciously judge i remember one time i
showed up um to meet with somebody and i was in a suit and they said i knew you were going to show
up in a suit. So what are you talking about? He said, I could just tell by the way you write
online that you dress well. It's like, wow. So you have no idea how much people are subliminally
painting a picture of you when you comment, when you do things on the internet. So people can read
through it. They know whether or not you're authentic. They know whether or not you're
putting on a show, whether or not this is really the real you or whatnot, you know. It's interesting
without a co-host, I find myself talking here every week for 15, 20 minutes. And this is a very
real and authentic outlet for myself. You know, this is just me talking and sharing personal
failures that I've come across with. And it matches my persona online. It matches my brand,
matches when i go out professionally you know this is the tony ortiz that you get so it's pretty
interesting how people paint a picture of you online so always be professional and that
professional etiquette doesn't always mean like suit and tie corporate professional etiquette
like there's an etiquette for hip-hop there's a way of being tacky and way of presenting yourself
and being put together and looking like you know what you're talking about you know so you're out
you're networking you're meeting a ton of people you're getting uh some great contacts what do you
got to do next you got to follow up man when i first started getting into networking i was
collecting business cards like pokemon man i just oh you do this you do this oh that's great i have
three carpenters and out of like hundreds of business cards that i got i only sat down with
40 or 50 of those people. And it's like, what was I doing? So I changed my methods to find three,
maybe two or three, I'd say, good connections that I want to make out of a room. So I go into
a room with clear intentions of who I want to meet and who I want to network with. And I'll
talk with a couple of people. And if I leave with three business cards, but I had 10 minutes to talk
to that person and get an idea of whether or not we could do business together or whether or not
I could refer them business. I'll go ahead and I'll shoot them an email within 24 hours just
asking when I can get on their calendar for like a Zoom meeting or buy them coffee or something if
they're going to be downtown. But it's amazing how many people have poor follow-up tactics and just
collect the cards, never reach out to the person, never ask whether or not they can get into
anything. And just imagine all the lost opportunities that you have. So by the time
this episode drops, everyone that I chatted with at Empower 610 Day is going to have a message or
an email from me. Going back to the idea of painting a picture of you online, I know there
was a gentleman that I met. Shout out to Kweisa the artist. I see him at Americus. He's shooting
a wedding and I see his setup. He's got the Black Magic, which is a great camera. And so we get to
talking a little bit. We connect on Instagram or something. And I reached out. I checked out some
of his stuff, but I didn't actually say, hey, let's get together for coffee or anything like
that. He saw an interview that I did with Phase One and said, wow, I didn't know you knew Phase.
And when he saw me at Empower 610 day, that's the first thing he said is, I didn't know you knew my
man phase. And now the ice is broken. We get to talking. He starts talking to some other people
that I know. I'm thinking, man, this is like when you see 11 mutual friends or 100 mutual friends
or 400 mutual friends on Facebook. You accept those requests a lot quicker than if somebody's
just randomly cold calling you and trying to add you as a friend. So I'm going to shoot out. I'm
going to shoot out a couple of times to him, reach out a time to sit down. I ran into meet beats
and be pro. I keep going back to this, uh, phase one interview, but we were talking about
meet beats Robbins, uh, starting MB pro studios. And I said, yeah, you came up.
This was a segue to, Hey, I started a podcast and eventually I may have him on as a guest,
but we're going to keep the conversation going. Um, I was actually in the middle of talking with
him when my pod brothers, Nice Jones and Bardalis called me onto the stage to give me flowers and
recognize me and a bunch of other members in the community. So that was awesome to share the stage
there. But because the conversation got cut off with Meat Beats, I got to reach out to him
and make sure we can build that relationship, keep it going. So let's see what I got here.
Your persona should match your online presentations.
People can read through if you're authentic.
Poor follow-up tactics.
Timing.
Let's talk about timing.
I say within 24 hours, two days is acceptable.
But if it takes you a week, two weeks to follow up, somebody's going to think, wow, that's
not, they don't really take it as serious.
I don't know why, but life happens.
Like, it's not that you don't take it serious.
It's just that life happens and people have short attention spans.
So if they met you one day and they get an email the next day, there's a much higher percentage chance that you guys are going to connect and not just be someone that goes from there.
So stay professional when you're at networking events.
Try to meet new people.
Don't stay sticking to your friends and only go places where your friends go.
Look approachable.
Be friendly.
and whether or not, you know, people kind of listen to their conversations, laugh at their
jokes. And it's a opening to be able to kind of shoot an icebreaker in there, you know. But I know
I spent months going to networking events and only talking to my friends. And it's like they already
know what I do and all those missed opportunities of people that I could have been speaking with.
So, you know, it's it's interesting stuff.
If you do get a chance to have an icebreaker and talk to somebody, don't dominate the conversation.
And I know I have a tendency to take over conversations.
I've gotten much better at it in my older age.
But I know that listening and letting other people talk and adding to meaningful discussion goes way better.
Don't try to sell to a group.
If there's three or four people in a group, somebody asks you what you do, tell them what
you do, but it doesn't have to, there's a difference between saying I own a graphic
and video business and saying, oh man, I could do business cards, flyers, I could do motion
graphics, I could do this.
It's like that guy with the toothbrushes and everything inside what he has.
But let's see where I was in my notes.
Just got a message that threw me off.
And like I said, I don't hit red right away because I'm in the middle of podcasting.
All right.
Poor conversation tactics we were talking about.
If you don't show a genuine interest, people can read right through it.
So just remember that networking is about building relationships.
If you're not showing an interest in what somebody else does, you might not pick up
on that little thing they say that separates them from somebody else or the one thing they
do unique that might come up in a conversation with somebody new. So I always ask, what did you,
you know, somebody says, I'm at a networking group and it's something professional. I'll ask
somebody what they do. If I'm at like a picnic or something, a barbecue, I'll ask, what do you do
for work? And then if they say, I've been doing this for 25 years, I say, that's interesting.
How'd you get into it? This isn't me just playing a game. I really am interested in why people do
what they do and what motivates people to be driven. So I love hearing stories of how people
got started or how they found their passion or how they're still looking for their passion.
But this is a genuine conversation that I'm looking to build value with them. And it comes
off a lot better than constantly trying to sell what I do. So I keep the same persona, whether
I'm podcasting, whether I'm at a networking event, because it's part of my brand. You know,
I try to keep a consistent brand. One of the things that I did inconsistently when I first
got into marketing and stuff is I was trying to be everything for everyone. I was trying to be the,
you know, manager for artists and rappers and make their, uh, brand as well as, you know,
work for Taco Bell and corporate fast food places and make their brand. And it's like,
it's inconsistent. Where's your brand message? And eventually fell into startups and starting
having people start their businesses. I've helped brand, um, probably close to a hundred businesses
putting together logos and having people go into their side hustle full time or something like
that. So people know that the value I add is you can come to me with a thought and leave with a
physical representation of your brand you know one way of inconsistent branding is like do you
guys remember when mcdonald's was selling salads i don't even know if they still do but you don't
go from being a fast and cheap fast food place selling garbage to oh we're the healthiest brand
in america and you can get a nice chicken sandwich or a chicken salad you know it just didn't fit
the healthy and premium brand so at least mcdonald's had a clear message of being the fast
cheap garbage you know and it's not terrible people like the taste of it i guess so but you
know nutrient wise you can't argue that it's absolute trash so at least they had a clear
message if you have unclear branding it can make it difficult for people to understand like what do
you stand for? You know, um, people throw out, they wonder why did I go with Tony Ortiz, the
designer? And although my main service is graphic design, uh, I do do motion graphics. And so I
design motion graphics. I design, um, whether I'm working on music or things like that, it helps
with the brand of me just being a creator and creating things from scratch. So some people ask
the question, what does he design? I'm not an interior designer, but a lot of the same principles
of design go cross between different professions like interior design or art. Color psychology
goes across that sort of different stuff. But I would say that the big thing is when you get out,
when you make meaningful relationships, maintain them. Maintain them. Relationships need continuous
nurturing so following up with people seeing what they've been up to just um i remember the game
the sims you would make friends and you would have to call them on the phone and if you didn't call
them on the phone after a while you'd get the same message and it would say relationships are
like plants if you don't water them they wilt and die and for some reason that always stuck with me
and i'm like who do i have to water right now you know who's wilting and where can i reopen the
communication to get in touch with everyone and uh don't think for a second that just because
you're posting the algorithm is showing you to absolutely everyone there are people that
are facebook friends with you that don't see what you're posting and perfect example of it you know
i was at the um at the showcase yesterday and somebody reached out and asked somebody else
hey, so are you still making music? He said, well, don't you see it on Facebook? Are you not
paying attention? And it's like, no, it's not that they're not paying attention. They just,
the algorithm doesn't show you everything. You can be mutual friends with somebody and you're
not seeing the same feed as somebody else does. So make it a point to reach out to people via
Messenger or via text message or WhatsApp or whatever you can and use that tactic of going
to the last person you spoke to and reopening the conversation and check it out. As long as
you keep to that, you won't have one sided relationships. You won't have faltering
relationships. You'll be able to really build and connect with some awesome people in the community
or online nationally or even in other countries. You know, I've been able to do business with
people well outside of the United States just by having a professional brand and representing
myself that way online as well so i'm gonna look i'm gonna do this before i check how long i've
been going i just want to shout out that i don't script or time any of my episodes and there we
are at 23 minutes so somehow i go through and i hit about 20 minutes every week let's see
announcements uh what do we got going on schultzy coming july 28th to the bethlehem wind creek i'm
sure tickets are probably close to being sold out by now i think july 6th i got that date wrong
sometime early in july bill burr's coming to the ppl center so that's going to be super dope
uh eight town slim dropped competition is slim three yesterday on 610 day so that was uh definitely
an experience i listened to that front to back this morning and reached out to phase let them
know my thoughts on it and i'm super excited for some other projects he's got coming out this year
definitely a fan but i will be replaying that competition is slim three i just want to shout
out every artist that went out and showcased like it was really good music man it was really good
music uh what do we got dj j held it down the whole time uh don dalla shut it down at the end
of the night there was a bunch of kids going crazy with their phones out and stuff it was like a real
moment the way the sun came down and everything it was like uh early night just a beautiful summer
night johnny bills definitely he gets people moving man he had uh he had great music going on
eric rose i heard him he was the first artist that was up in soundcheck when i was listening to
And he could definitely move a crowd. He definitely a great crowd participation, asking them whether or not he should do a song. So that was pretty cool. Chanel Rodriguez spoken word definitely moved me. I mean, it's hard to get up in front of people. So big shout out to anybody performs. But to do a spoken word and be as personal as she was definitely moved me.
uh call me vince i followed him on spotify eight town slim mackville i definitely played his
project on spotify from front to back this morning uh dylan murphy i did not get a chance to jump
into his stuff but i followed him he had a it's probably still in my pocket he had uh somebody
handing out qr codes with that you could get to his music and follow everything so that was real
professional i think it's great how these artists show up to a showcase and actually come prepared
they have their team available they have merch so great day for hip-hop great day for allentown
this is the uh art of networking and the empower 610 day recap this has been i will not lose
podcast where we set out to prove everything is learned from failure we must persevere recognize
it as one step closer to success. To support the show, visit the website shows.acast.com
slash I will not lose and subscribe on your favorite podcast player. Share the episode link,
leave a comment. Your contribution is appreciated. Thank you for listening.