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morning good evening good night good afternoon don't give me copyright flag though no no no you
can cut this out i sounded like a zombie just yeah in order to grow you gotta have like some
kind of goals the intro will jump right in okay what's up what's up what's up good morning good
evening good night good afternoon whatever time you're listening in wherever you're listening from
You could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here.
Take a moment to be present and recognize that it's now, right now.
Whether your right now is working, running, driving, flying, be thankful we're alive,
baby.
Failure can be frightening.
However, as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from failure to
failure without losing enthusiasm.
This is I Will Not Lose Podcast.
I'm your host, Tony Ortiz, but I have the pleasure of introducing Miss Barbara DeLeo
of AMP Clothing. This is going to be a good one. I wanted to invite her on. We've been trying to
make this happen for months now. Ever since I met her at Carter McKinney's photo party,
she had the setup similar to what we have here with AMP Clothing. And I got a little bit to
pull her aside and hear her story. And I said, if you wouldn't mind coming on the podcast. So
thank you for your courage thank you for uh coming on and sharing your story as a means of inspiration
and you know thank you thank you thank you for having me i'm excited nervous all at the same
time it's been a it's been a journey i remember when i met when i saw you there and um you know
networking isn't a pretty amazing thing when yeah i mean look where look where we are now we would
have never met each other if it wasn't for for that carter he really pulled that together amazingly
didn't he right yeah so here i am so i guess um you know um i'll start off what i always say
it's it's what i as soon as i first meet somebody or if they ask about the about the um brand i say
hi my name is barbara delio i'm the mother of marcus delio varine and he created um amp clothing
in 2018 and he passed away in 2019. And I made a promise to him that I would take over his clothing
brand and continue his legacy and, and to honor my son until, until like forever, you know? So,
and so that's what I'm doing. And so being that said, every time I say that you have to smile,
right so you smile because you know you you're not people like that yeah because people like
that exactly and so you have to smile and but for me inside it's like you know repeating that
over and over and over can be can be tough you know but um but but i've learned that people
you know they they start asking questions and and they're they're they want to know the story and
And, and I love talking about this story.
I love talking about, you know, everything that has to do with my son, you know, everything.
And so the AMP clothing brand embodies his spirit, his fighting spirit.
That's what you're keeping pushing and keeping alive through it.
So it's really beautiful.
It's a, it's a legacy.
It's a legacy.
And it, it, it, um, it's behind the scenes of it.
It's quite tough, you know, but, um, you know, I'm pushing.
And, and it's been, it's been four plus years now since he has passed away.
And, um, you know, and, and the toughest part, the challenge, the challenge, the most challenging
part was I'm a mother, you know, here, my son was 20 years old.
You know, he, he, he was, he created, he was a fat total founder of AMP clothing.
I had nothing to do with this.
I was part of his journey.
I was with him through this journey.
Um, but in regards to AMP clothing, I had nothing to do with it.
So what am I going to do? So here I am faced in this position where I'm thinking I'm a grieving mother. I'm grieving terribly. It is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen when you lose a child, especially when he died in my hands.
And he fought for 37 days, um, you know, and, um, you know, my son had, um, severe aplastic
anemia, um, and also PNH and, um, MDS.
And what that entails is it's basically when your red cell, red blood cells, white blood
cells, and your platelets, um, uh, kind of all just, um, how can I say it?
it just, everything goes down. You, you, you start losing blood and you cannot create
any more blood. You can't create any more platelets without supportive care. And what
it ends up doing is it creates bone marrow, um, failure. So my son was working at a 2%,
7% bone marrow. And so, um, so being that said, um, it is a form of a blood cancer
and a very rare blood cancer um and it doesn't meet some of the forms of like leukemia and like
you know all of those different kinds of forms of cancer so it's it's it's very rare and um
you know never heard of it it just happened he was um he was one month away from turning 18 years
old captain of his football team um had a scholarship to go to temple university for
football. Um, you know, he had, he had his life in his hands, you know, he was, uh, an honor student
beyond with school and, um, you know, a three sport athlete, you know, he, he really, um,
you know, he really, uh, you know, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And then this happened,
it just happens, you know, it, it happened. And, um, and, um, so one of the things I wanted to
talk about today that my son really felt passionately about is, um, you know, when you,
when you get these kinds of things, you, they look for the siblings to see if they could be a match.
And my, my son and my, um, my, my family, um, we were not a match. And so what there is,
it's called, um, be the match. It's now called, um, N M, uh, what is it? I'm sorry. They just
changed their name because it used to be be the match for for years they always have like you
know different names but um but it's um um what is it nb it's national nmb oh gosh national bone
marrow national bone marrow oh my goodness gracious this is gonna bother me welcome back
do as we're talking, but you know, so, but it's, you know, but it's, yeah, well, I guess we'll have
to, you know, come back to that, but no N M D P national marrow donor program. Okay. That's what
it is. I apologize. Oh my goodness. Now I'm a little nervous because they are just, they were
known as be the match. So it's a registry that you go, it's a, it's a nationwide registry that
you go to try to find a match. And, um, my son was, um, half black and half white. So, um, his,
his background, his background, ethnic, you know, his ethnic background, um, uh, 70, 79% of white
people, um, uh, are on the, on the registry and, um, you can get, it's a 79% chance that you can
find a match unfortunately with my son's you know with his ethnic background it was a 29 percent
and so he was trying to passionately you know he went on the news a few times he had be the
batch drives also blood drives as well um he spoke of it very very much in public um to get people to
really um of uh uh you know of different ethnic backgrounds not just white you know backgrounds
but to come forward and to join um the registry you know to be a donor you know so you know
because when you do that it multiplies then of when you can actually find you know a match you
know when that happens and so so for my son you know he was half black and there his his his um
ethnic background the tissue is actually very different than what mine is it's extremely
different. And, um, so it, so it goes to, that's where we have to search for. So we needed to find
somebody of my son's ethnic background of being black to, um, be the donor 29% chance of finding
it on, on the thing. So that's really admirable to use the, the fight, you know, obviously the
news, the publicity was for building awareness for his case, but he used that not only for himself,
but selflessly to just promote that. I saw in the notes that he had a tie dye sale, raised $500.
So to put money into the cause that is there to support you, that's like really holistic. You
know i found that really admirable i couldn't believe he was doing it i was like you you're
you're having so to to backtrack quick to get to that we um he finally after two years and four
months found a donor it was a nine out of ten donor but of how the genetics are they can work
with a nine out of ten donor so he finally went for his bone marrow transplant and it's a it's a
process they take you to ground zero it's not something the actual patient itself um that is
getting the bone marrow transplant it's it's a very tough um it's a very tough it's they take
you to ground zero they kill every cell in your body and you know blasts of all kinds of cocktails
of every kind of chemo and radiation to the highest amounts to kill every cell in your body
and to kill your existing bone marrow it's very tough it's like you're slowly killing you know
so you can create and you know connect with another life another dna so um so he was in
there and he was very sick and um he said i want to have a tie dye um sale and raise money for the
kids he loved the kids you know um he he felt so he felt so much for them you know because they
were so young they didn't know what was going on they're confused you know and and when they would
see him my son was like six three you know 280 pounds like muscle you know and very very strong
and tough and he looked scary at first you know but then he you know he just went down with him
and play with him talk to him all the time so while he was having the transplant he raised
five hundred dollars through his tie dyes and he donated it to the the children's hospital of
Philadelphia, the, the, um, uh, bone marrow transplant unit for the children, their kids
room for their toys, you know, if I, you know, so he did, he did that while he was having the
transplant, that was a lot of work. And, um, and, um, yeah, it was pretty amazing that he did that
and inspired me of things of why, you know, I continue to do those things today now.
So that was something else. Wow. Yeah. That was something else.
it leads into just the background the mission statement of amp clothing and what's your you
know the legacy that you're pushing you know the mindset it's it's more than a clothing brand
you know it's not just a logo even though the clothing is beautiful thank you well it's everything
is his but yes it's it's not just it's it's it's it's not just a brand it's it's it's a lifestyle
and that's his exact words actually the brand that is it's not just clothing it's a lifestyle
and um you know in his mission statement what is um amp and he means possible amp is empowerment
of oneself the will and the drive that we seek through hard work that shows real character
i want to inspire elevate and help people in so many ways keep going and put the effort
and hard work into where you want to go for true desire to live and will to live you know that is
the that is the mission statement and I have that mission statement actually on every single piece
of clothing the tags you know um you know I mean he you know it's the empowerment in oneself
you know oneself you know we we go through you know one thing that my son really when he
established damn clothing in 2018, it was not just because he was sick. My son prevailed and had to
do through a lot of different obstacles physically and mentally, you know, from this, you know,
we all do right from the time, you know, he was, you know, young boy up. And, um, so he, he, um,
you know, he was, he was really passionate about, you know, inspiring and trying to empower people
to take control of their physical being, of their mental being, like he was trying to do with
himself. And he knew it wasn't tough. I mean, it wasn't, I'm sorry that it wasn't easy, you know,
and he wanted people to wake up in the morning when, you know, we, at the end of the day,
you know, and this is the truth. We have lots of people, most people don't, but some people do.
the people that come into your life and they give you great positive affirmations very positive
they lift you up and they it's great for that moment yeah it's great for that it can inspire
you throughout that day it truly can and then you know you're left with yourself you're still left
with yourself you're left you still have to make your own choices and decision making and you know
and you can't run away from yourself. You know, you can't. And, you know, so my, my son,
you know, he, he really believed in that, you know, you can fall, you can fall, you can fall
every night if you have to, but that next morning you got to get right back up. And what do you do
when you get up? You get dressed, you look at yourself in the mirror. And when you're wearing
AMP clothing, you're wearing thousands of stories. You're not just, you're not just, you know, we all
want to wear something that means something you know how many times how many times do you get
something and you know you like it because it's great first of all it's great material garment
you know of course that's number one right but what does that clothing really mean how is that
going to inspire you is it just going to you know you know is it really do you know how is it going
to uplift you up throughout your entire day you're going to go on a job interview you're about to
you know do something that you've never did before i meet somebody new meet somebody new
you know and and so you want to have that you want to be inspired you want to you want to have
that empowerment and again you're by yourself and when you're wearing your clothing you know
no one fights alone because when you're wearing am clothing you're you're you're with so many
others at that time that are fighting through for themselves and you know that that are really are
fighting through, you know, so it's, you know, so he wanted clothing that, you know, um, you know,
that really, you know, embodied his spirit. Exactly. Right. Exactly. That's awesome.
Yeah. How has that helped you with the pushing the brand and, you know, it's, it's work. I know
you wanted to tell some people about the work you've done multiple events now with another one
coming up so yes let's talk about the behind the scenes you know what sort of work goes into
building and pushing the brand so um it's me and my daughter um and my two little grandchildren
they help me with am clothing too yeah it's cute so um but um behind the scenes of am clothing
from the beginning until now um you know i've i've raised money for charities i've given back
to pick you over and shop um lehigh valley hospital families i pick out you know and i
give donations too so when we do yearly when we do the um tie-dye events we do tie-dye events
yearly this particular past year unfortunately due to some personal issues with my own health
situations i was enabled i had to back off from doing it the tie-dye event this year which i am
going to bring back out it just had to be delayed a little bit but um so i do a tie-dye event every
year and the money that i raise um i i half of proceeds go to charities and another half goes
back into amp clothing i um pretty much do everything by myself um i'm a pretty solo with
it um i'm very particular of how i like things and everybody has their lives and this is something
that is my passion so much i mean i sit in my basement with my machines and um come up with
my son has a lot of designs that aren't finished and then he has a lot of designs i have to wait
to release because i need a substantial amount of time now right like which is tough you know
because you know i can't just throw everything on the you know on the on the shelf or on the
on the machine yeah machine i can't do that because i need to stretch it out for some time
now because i'm never going to give up on so i do um you know so we did uh what's coming up right
now is the annual pop-up of 2024 every year um for the celebration of my son's birthday what
better way to first of all have a distraction um sorry that makes sense a distraction right
so every year um for a distraction and to celebrate and to to right you know it's it's
a celebration uh but every single year since his passing i do an ant pop-up and i've always
done with my home and that's not always like the best thing to do you know and so the marketing of
that i had to really tone down a lot but i got great wonderful um uh wonderful turnouts you know
with that i even did it during um um um the pandemic and you know i had a certain way when
people had to come in and so forth you know and everything so um so i do so i do that every year
and again i donate to charity and then it goes back into amp clothing and um this year um i this
is going to be the biggest event that amp clothing has ever had i'm very excited about it this year
like this year yeah and this year um is is a big one so um where's it at it's gonna be um at what
is it nine 901 jefferson street it's at the memorial um jefferson memorial right behind the
old tories of us over in whitehall and whitehall okay yeah so um so yeah it's gonna be yeah the
901 Jefferson Street in Whitehall.
That's where it's going to be.
So the Fullerton Memorial Athletic Association.
That's where it's going to be at.
So free parking, lots of parking.
You don't have to worry about where you're going to park.
And, you know, organ donation awareness that day.
Event DJ Romeo is going to be there.
He's my favorite DJ in this valley.
He's just like amazing.
Shout out to Romeo Gay.
Yeah, shout out to Romeo.
So I'm really excited that he's going to,
he's a really big part of what it is that I'm going to be doing.
um carter mckinney is going to be there um i love carter mckinney he's he's he's he's the he is the
networking king i call him for sure i mean he's just a and um he's really connected with am
clothing in a very close way so um so he's also going to be there as a vendor and also as a
photographer as well that's awesome big shout out to carter yes and um um and so and so there's
going to be a lot of organizations there. I'm doing a blood drive. It's called Adopt-A-Day
Blood Drive. Unfortunately, they couldn't get a truck out there. We are in a crisis with
these blood banks right now of staffing, donors. And so it's tough. So what I'm doing is Adopt-A-Day
Blood Drive for that week for my son. So people can just click on a QR code and be able to sign
up to in honor of his name and to give blood at a later time so i hope people will do it because it
saves people's lives i mean it saves their saves them a day and an hour a day a week a month a
lifetime giving blood if it wasn't for people giving blood my son would have died the very
first night that i brought him into the hospital if it wasn't for people doing that so it's
extremely important is it really is it's so important for to give blood anyway and then i'm
going to have a lot of special guests there as well um smooth is going to be there from temple
university a brotherhood that my son was involved in when he was at temple he did go to temple
university for that year oh that's amazing he was sick but he still went to temple university not on
the scholarship that's another story um but um he did go for that year and he so smooth brothers is
going to be there as special guests as well um so anyway so i'm gonna have a lot of performances
is there um ralph ralphick is going to be there um he's a christian um rapper gospel rapper i
listen to him yeah i listen to really like on and on his song on and on yes yes so he's gonna be
there i met him at um the photo party at the photo party same here yeah i think it was was
it the second photo party or the first photo he was at the first one okay the first one yes i did
the video for the two of them right and i remember it was he was at the first one yeah yeah so um
so yeah so so so he's he's gonna be there so that's gonna be exciting too um i'm coming in
with a really big power speech that's gonna start off uh with a really big fashion show
that is what i'm really excited and nervous yeah so yeah yeah and the g block if we call it the g
block is going to be there it's a lot of my son's friends they were like a family and um you know
they're coming all together for this and they're really excited for this um and um yeah so they're
making sure they're coming all together um that's how we're going to start the i call it the
introduction to um you know the event on that day um and then we're going to have um like i said a
lot of other vendors are going to be there you know sneaker heads are going to be there you know
fly heaters is going to be there um uh frank is going to be there frank the collect that the
collectster yeah which was actually my son's one of my son's best friends so he's going to be there
as a vendor serena berries is going to be there as a vendor huge yeah um yeah serena berries is
going to be there um uh a town representing have you ever heard of him so he's going to be there
as well he he really represents allentown and he's very very positive you know and um i met him
through my journey of networking as well you know and um nombre is going to be there the number of
garments is um uh they are he is really is a very close friend of my sons and he is um he is one of
many but a big one that really inspired my son to get into the clothing business yeah so you know
so he's so so he's gonna be there um which is great um you know uh ricky dutchman's gonna be
there he's a graffiti artist um um who else is gonna be there i got i just gotta i just want
to make sure oh and um uh team trent is going to be there um her name is jody she also lost her son
and she's also going to be talking about organ donation as well yes and she's also one of you
know she's a best-selling author right now so she's also going to be there a special guest as
well and also to talk about organ donation as well which is exciting and her and i you know um i've
you know we both have champions i say of our children you know so we are in that same
you know boat in a lot of ways and she's she's passing her legacy on in another way that she'll
be able to explain when she's you know if somebody goes to the event and um thrifty teas is going to
be there you remember them they were at the photo shoot so you know vintage clothing and so you know
i really have a good relationship with them so they're going to be there too which is you know
which is really great and you know people are going to come in and you know um it's a ticketed
event i've never done a ticketed event before um and the the money is going to go back into charity
it's going to pick i'm going to be picking the charities of my choices and um and back into
am clothing just like i've been doing but this is a ticketed event and so nobody can get in without
it you know without a ticket but it's for a great cause yeah we'll put some information on how
listeners can get tickets this will air before the event so i also have a another author best
selling author or not you know she's another author she's a poet and she's going to be
performing china and she's going to be okay she's good did you see um i put it on um i put it on the
instagram with her oh i saw her i met her at empower 610 day and i saw her in the clip for
power 610 wearing amp clothing it's funny i was just talking to somebody i was like yeah you know
i'm gonna have barbara from amp clothing yeah and we talked about it i said she's gonna be on the
podcast then when i'm scrolling my phone the very top thing was that and she was wearing amp and i
was like look at that like how serendipitous it's crazy isn't that so right there yeah yeah she she
was really good friends with my son um in high school and for you know a long time and um i love
that she takes um amp on her journey you know she really takes it you know any means possible
honestly right on her journey with her it's pretty amazing she's going to be there so i'm
excited that she's going to be there as well you know and um you know um you know and um
rest of souls is going to be there they are a biker club for security so they're going to be
there as well so security will be on site as well and um listen i mean it's gonna and at the you
know how the event's gonna go is you know there's so many different things that are going to be
occurring of course you can buy am clothing there then as well and you're gonna get a nice meal
and some drinks and um we're gonna celebrate at the end of the night it would have been my son's
25th birthday and what better way to celebrate than saving lives impacting people spreading
awareness yeah um and coming together um as a community to try to make a difference
that's what my son ultimately always wanted was to make a difference and you know and i'm his
messenger and i will be his messenger for a lifetime to come more and more and more every day
um it's very hard as a mother it's very hard to be taken seriously too behind the scenes listen
you know behind the scenes of it all you know i'm working constantly on am clothing trying to
sit i stand in my i stay in my basement okay marcus what is it that you want me to do to finish
When am I going to do this?
When I'm going to do that?
I got to get this screen printed.
I got to get that screen printed.
You know, and to organize everything, as you know, like it's, it's a lot, it's a lot.
It's, it's, but I love it.
Yeah.
You got to love the process, you know, it's fulfilling.
I mean, to be able to push to any means possible in anything.
I mean, that's why I started the podcast in this theme.
You know, there's all sorts of stuff you can talk about and put a show together.
But I wanted to remind myself every week, every other week, you know, there's a reason
to keep going.
There's days I wake up, I don't want to do anything.
You know what I mean?
And I didn't lose a child, God forbid.
So I can only imagine.
But being able to push it, how can people donate and what, you know, you never know
who's listening.
well um right now i have how you can donate right now to me um um regarding well blood obviously
keystone um miller keystone bank blood bank um you know and then obviously registering for be the
match um which is the like i like i said the oh my goodness gracious the nmdp now um you know
registering for that and to donate back into amp clothing you know to reach me on instagram
um you know my ign instagram amp clothing underscore and um also i have a website um
any means any means possible dot my shopify.com um those are the two areas that i have right now
i'm working i'm i'm working on the website you know that can be that could be a lot yeah that's
That's a lot. So, and like I said, I do everything solo, um, with the help of my daughter. Um, for
sure. She puts in her input as well. Um, you know, but solely it's, it's me. And, um, so I'm,
I'm working really hard on trying to set everything up, you know, perfectly, you know,
but definitely to reach out to me, you know, on there, you know, and also I have, you know,
I have beacons on there now when you go on beacons, you can text message me right off the
bat, make a call, you know, and it's right out in the Instagram, you know, you know, bio, right.
And my bio, you go right on there and you, and you can message me in that way as well. And there's
also, you know, Venmo on there and cash shop on there. If anybody would ever want to donate into
M clothing and, and to, you know, to really help create, you know, this mission. I mean,
it's a mission. This is, this is definitely, it's definitely a mission like no other, you know,
when you um when you are you know taking over somebody's legacy you know especially when it's
your son's legacy you don't want to embarrass them and you don't want to you know right right
i mean i'm the mom like how am i going to do this that's what i was doing so much in the background
while i'm grieving my story behind uh amp clothing of the scenes was very tough and um
you know, and I, and I questioned myself a million times. Um, am I the one that's supposed
like, why did you trust me to do this? You know, I mean, the last words my son ever said was,
I love you and I trust you and couldn't save him, but he fought for 37 days. Um,
you know real quick to backtrack you know what ended up happening you know i don't want anyone
to think he died from having the bone marrow transplant um what after the transplant he was
there for almost two months and he came home and he was home for four weeks and all of a sudden
got a fever we thought it was a they called a hiccup at the time which i hate that word now
hiccup i hate it but they call it a hiccup and they said um you know they said oh you know so
we had to ambulance him back to philadelphia and he was there and i had to go back to work
that's another story all right let me not back get off track anyway and um he was there for seven
days and all of a sudden one day he couldn't breathe and um from that from then on um you know
he was on and off of he was on three different ventilators before he went on event i was there
with him and he we were trying to figure out what was going to be happening and basically what was
happening is his his lungs were cementing shut we had no idea why though they said we don't know why
that's the hard part somebody kept saying i don't know i don't know i don't know
and he was still engrafting engrafting meaning still connecting to his new dna um he was at 90
i think at the time 97 match of the dna so there was nothing wrong with the actual bone marrow
transplant but of course you know as a mom yeah i was like yeah you know i was getting you know i
was i'm a very big huge advocate for my children and um i was very huge i had a very huge role
in that hospital. Um, anyone that knows me and knows in that time, it was very raw and real.
And, um, you know, um, anyway, and, um, so he was on ECMO and all kinds of, uh,
machines, dialysis, you know, he was having multiple, um, uh, organ failure. So when he went
to on when he got when he was about to go on you know at the start of all of that um he couldn't
talk much because he couldn't breathe very well and i was trying to give him ice chips and so
forth and we decided that he was going to go on event and he passed all medical rights over to
me which was confusing at first you know as a mom you know you're like what and then um and to find
out then um you know um that he had to go on event and he just decided so and then he talked to me
about AMP clothing. And then he said, I love you. And I trust you. And he went off. And then
when he came back, um, from, um, from, from, from getting all of that, taking care of getting on
event, they said that he's going to die immediately when they came back immediately.
And so this is my story of letting everyone know of like, um, any means possible, how, what it,
So how my start of it was, was they came back and they said, he's going to die any minute.
His, his, his lungs are totally smitten.
And I'm like, what happened?
What's wrong?
What, what's, what is it?
We don't know.
They had no idea what was wrong with him.
And here I am in the biggest hospital.
I'm thinking to myself, how do they not know what's wrong with my son?
and um so my start of my journey was the moment I said if it was you or me what would you do
well we would put you on ECMO which is um an artificial lung machine I said then why aren't
you doing that for him and um they said he's a bone marrow transplant patient he's nobody nobody
will live if they go on that or off of it because you eventually have to be taken off of it no one's
ever no one's lived off of it in this hospital and um and i and i said i want him on that machine
i'm not giving up on him all right um and they they gave me resistance because you know they're
doctors and they they're looking at the textbook the statistics and you know and so forth it's not
their son. Exactly. And I said, we need to do any means possible. That was my journey of
how my son's brand really embedded in me. It was at that very moment, the strength and the courage
that I had to pull out of my soul to say, I need to fight with my son right now. He has done his
job he has been doing his job he has been doing any means possible but he tried to find a cure
he did everything raise money you know awareness he raised money he tried to find a cure he's
trying to i mean he took over his health care like you wouldn't imagine and trying new things and
you know things that were weren't even out yet of trying to cure himself i mean there were so
many different things that we did that he did to to try to get himself better so I made he got on
that ECMO machine and he lived through it and they were shocked they couldn't believe that he even
lived through that surgery and he lived through it and he got on the ECMO machine and then you
know and then they said you know now his kidneys are going he's not going to live he's any every
two seconds they were saying he was dying and I kept saying well do this now do this now do this
network. So we just kept, we were, we were throwing everything you could possibly throw
at him. And, um, you know, when he was fighting and, you know, he was trying to breathe on his
own, you, you saw the little things and then we, we, he, he was in a coma and then he was trying
to come out of that coma and his, he had great brain, you know, everything was there. And, um,
I had, and the only one he would listen to would be me at that time. Um, but, um, that was the
time when he you know his whole life he was thinking of everybody else and this was his
moment that he had to totally 100 just think of himself and he fought for and and then we took
him off of ECMO because he was getting better and he lived and they said that he would die if
we did that so we we took every single step we could possibly take to save his life there was
nothing that even though in my mom of mom's mind i say something else but in reality um there was
nothing else that we didn't throw at him and the entire time they said we don't know what's wrong
with him entire time that how do you not know like you know what i mean yeah how do you not
know that and it was just and so we had a big dirt team hundreds and hundreds of doctors were
working on him. He was the worst young man that was in that hospital. He was fighting for his life
and I went out and I did these lives. It was my first time and I was a mess. People came to see
him. People rallied church. They, people were going to church praying. I mean, he had a village
behind him, people that were really, really, really fighting for him. And anyway, whatever
brought him in there started happening again and long story short marcus passed away
um november 4th of 2019 and when he passed away we still didn't know why he was still engrafting
i mean there was always that threat at that time that now you know because he had no immune system
so here we are throwing everything at him we're gonna this poor thing that just got his bone
marrow is what was what what's going to happen with this bone marrow i mean this donor um we
reached out to the donor we're not supposed to do that by law we reached out to the donor to have
any questions about you know them and we felt bad doing that because when you become a donor um
it's like anonymous it's anonymous yeah you know it's anonymous you don't ever have to meet the
person ever again you don't you don't have to it's anonymous if you you can sign up to do that
later on in life. So I absolutely, you know, did not like to do that, but person was wonderful and
was very understanding with it all. So that was, that was a good thing. Um, but, um, anyway, um,
and to make a very, to, to make my, this, cause that's a very long story and I could go detail
like no other about that. Um, you know, one thing I do want to say though, um, as much as we're
talking about AMP clothing in any means possible, um, when you lose a child, um, you know what,
yeah i'm sure you've said it too when you lose a child you say um i would never i wouldn't survive
that i would die you do you do at that very moment it's like nothing i've ever experienced
in my life at that very moment that is what happens and um so it's been a journey for myself
and um i felt like i really let him down in a lot of ways um survivor's guilt and all kinds of
things come into play but my son left a treasure it's a treasure you have clothing is a treasure
not many people have that that's lost their children and you know and i've met quite a few
people that have and they're like what do i do now you know it's like what do i do now and i'm
fortunate enough that I was left a treasure that I can continue his legacy. I can continue
to be his messenger. And that's, what's kept me alive. That's what's kept me. Um, that's what's,
that's what's kept me going. And, and, um, it's, but it's been a journey. It's,
it's really been a journey well it's not over um no but you're doing a phenomenal job i'll continue
to push am clothing where i can wear the brand this is an amazing hoodie it's super comfortable
feels great it fits perfect it's real quality so i'll wear this to help promote the brand and any
of my listeners you know if everybody anybody donates 50 cents go and check out the website
we'll have that posted in the description and everything like that uh if you want to just repeat
again where they could find you and then we'll kind of land the plane well just one more time
come to my annual pop-up 2024 tickets are in eventbrite so look on eventbrite for those tickets
and it is um april 28th sunday april 28th from three to nine um be prepared to leave there
impacted and feeling every kind of emotional emotion that you can have and i'm having a great
time and um you know and be able to meet me and i'm gonna be doing the power of speech and you
know having so many people there and um you can see me on amp clothing underscore um and you'll
see the instagram and you'll see the onk on there which is everlasting life you know so my son had
that and um and you'll see the onk to imp clothing underscore and again you can go in my bio to look
in the threads and also to my beacon accounts as well for any kind of donations and you can check
out the website but you can reach me personally um on there through text message on beacons if
you're interested in something or looking at something but right now my big what i'm really
doing right now is i'm really preparing for a big bulk for this event so but yeah so definitely
check me on there and again you know any means possible dot my shopify.com you know is the
website um like i said i'm working on it very hard and it's not up to to everything that i want
at this particular time you know but you know i hope people i'm sure people people have already
seen amp clothing people are seeing them like all around throughout the town like wait a minute what
is this you know what is this yeah you know what i mean and so um you know and um to tell people
also you know you got to get it by any means possible and what that also means is some people
think that getting it by any means possible is you know going for something and then becoming
successful right right like is it and then if it doesn't happen oh my god i did any means
any means possible is going for something and if it doesn't work out you got to look at all
your other resources you got to look at all of your other um options and things that you can do
and you might have to do you have to do it differently you know it's about change you know
and, and, and, and, and, and so, and you got to keep going with that. Okay. It didn't work this
way. Well, we got to find another way. You know what I mean? Great example. My son, they said,
you can't have any more children. He said, well, okay, I'm going to the sperm bank. Do you
understand what I mean? Like you got to find different ways to do things. You know, people
are going to tell you all your life. You can't do something, especially doctors, especially doctors,
teachers parents you know everybody you know well you know you got to find different ways to be able
to negotiate or to find your dreams it's not always going to be just one straight and narrow
one way and and and you gotta you gotta find something in you um and something that can
inspire you and and any means possible is that for you know everything anything that's positive
when I'm talking about, you know, any means possible, rob a bank. No, no, no, no, no. You
know, that's, it's, it's much, it's a very positive mission statement that my son really
wanted to instill and I want to instill into people, um, you know, and so, yeah, so, yeah.
So get it by any means possible, you know, and don't give up. Don't quit. Don't quit. Uh, listen,
I've wanted to quit a million times. I, I, you know, there was this one, um, there was this one,
um, uh, networking. I did, I think it was the second photo party. I got up and I was like,
I don't want to fucking do this. You know what I mean? You know, Oh, excuse me. But you know,
I don't want to do this. You know, like I, I want to quit. I don't want to do this. What am I doing?
Like he should be doing this. This is ridiculous, you know, and so forth. And I don't want to do it.
I didn't want to do it. And then I thought people are counting on me. I've made commitments. I have
a family. I have my daughter and my grandchildren. I, I, I, I've made a commitment with you. Remember
or the last time like yeah i made this commitment with you and then then it didn't work out to
reschedule yes it works out yeah but you know so yeah so that's you know any means possible
you know and any means possible could even go down to the fact of i had a punch list uh for
months months after you know that happened with my son and market after marcus and um so um i had
have a punch list saying number one brush your teeth yeah wash your hair just to go through it
get up out of bed sometimes that is what any means possible is you know at three o'clock in the
morning you know majority of people they aren't having somebody say come on get up off of that
floor you got to find something in you you got to find something in you and you got to find your
purpose somehow some way you cannot you cannot give up because when you give up you exist and
just existing is not one thing my my son know my son had said i wrote it down because i wanted to
make sure i remembered he said he knew he wouldn't live forever but he wanted to leave something that
would it's amazing so yeah yeah no legacy is not leaving something for people it's leaving something
in people so beautiful well i love to promote the pop-up shop yes i'm gonna do everything i can to
be there i have it on my calendar so as long as nothing you never know what comes up but
we should be good i'm excited for it we'll push it um barbara delio i will not lose podcasts and
clothing thanks for listening thank you thank you for listening to another episode of i will not
Lose Podcast. To support the show, visit IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can subscribe to
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