Strength Through Struggle: The AMP Legacy - I Will Not Lose Podcast - #0055

Transcript

[00:00:08.270] morning good evening good night good afternoon don't give me copyright flag though no no no you
[00:00:15.380] can cut this out i sounded like a zombie just yeah in order to grow you gotta have like some
[00:00:26.310] kind of goals the intro will jump right in okay what's up what's up what's up good morning good
[00:00:35.100] evening good night good afternoon whatever time you're listening in wherever you're listening from
[00:00:40.380] You could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here.
[00:00:43.850] Take a moment to be present and recognize that it's now, right now.
[00:00:48.990] Whether your right now is working, running, driving, flying, be thankful we're alive,
[00:00:53.430] baby.
[00:00:54.630] Failure can be frightening.
[00:00:56.210] However, as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from failure to
[00:01:00.010] failure without losing enthusiasm.
[00:01:02.610] This is I Will Not Lose Podcast.
[00:01:04.450] I'm your host, Tony Ortiz, but I have the pleasure of introducing Miss Barbara DeLeo
[00:01:09.950] of AMP Clothing. This is going to be a good one. I wanted to invite her on. We've been trying to
[00:01:15.950] make this happen for months now. Ever since I met her at Carter McKinney's photo party,
[00:01:22.410] she had the setup similar to what we have here with AMP Clothing. And I got a little bit to
[00:01:27.330] pull her aside and hear her story. And I said, if you wouldn't mind coming on the podcast. So
[00:01:34.470] thank you for your courage thank you for uh coming on and sharing your story as a means of inspiration
[00:01:42.170] and you know thank you thank you thank you for having me i'm excited nervous all at the same
[00:01:48.550] time it's been a it's been a journey i remember when i met when i saw you there and um you know
[00:01:54.270] networking isn't a pretty amazing thing when yeah i mean look where look where we are now we would
[00:01:59.270] have never met each other if it wasn't for for that carter he really pulled that together amazingly
[00:02:03.890] didn't he right yeah so here i am so i guess um you know um i'll start off what i always say
[00:02:12.950] it's it's what i as soon as i first meet somebody or if they ask about the about the um brand i say
[00:02:20.010] hi my name is barbara delio i'm the mother of marcus delio varine and he created um amp clothing
[00:02:27.390] in 2018 and he passed away in 2019. And I made a promise to him that I would take over his clothing
[00:02:36.070] brand and continue his legacy and, and to honor my son until, until like forever, you know? So,
[00:02:43.710] and so that's what I'm doing. And so being that said, every time I say that you have to smile,
[00:02:50.390] right so you smile because you know you you're not people like that yeah because people like
[00:02:57.950] that exactly and so you have to smile and but for me inside it's like you know repeating that
[00:03:02.850] over and over and over can be can be tough you know but um but but i've learned that people
[00:03:13.740] you know they they start asking questions and and they're they're they want to know the story and
[00:03:22.120] And, and I love talking about this story.
[00:03:24.260] I love talking about, you know, everything that has to do with my son, you know, everything.
[00:03:29.500] And so the AMP clothing brand embodies his spirit, his fighting spirit.
[00:03:34.700] That's what you're keeping pushing and keeping alive through it.
[00:03:38.620] So it's really beautiful.
[00:03:40.760] It's a, it's a legacy.
[00:03:42.080] It's a legacy.
[00:03:43.020] And it, it, it, um, it's behind the scenes of it.
[00:03:47.720] It's quite tough, you know, but, um, you know, I'm pushing.
[00:03:52.120] And, and it's been, it's been four plus years now since he has passed away.
[00:03:56.560] And, um, you know, and, and the toughest part, the challenge, the challenge, the most challenging
[00:04:01.600] part was I'm a mother, you know, here, my son was 20 years old.
[00:04:06.260] You know, he, he, he was, he created, he was a fat total founder of AMP clothing.
[00:04:11.120] I had nothing to do with this.
[00:04:12.680] I was part of his journey.
[00:04:14.240] I was with him through this journey.
[00:04:16.620] Um, but in regards to AMP clothing, I had nothing to do with it.
[00:04:20.520] So what am I going to do? So here I am faced in this position where I'm thinking I'm a grieving mother. I'm grieving terribly. It is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen when you lose a child, especially when he died in my hands.
[00:04:39.420] And he fought for 37 days, um, you know, and, um, you know, my son had, um, severe aplastic
[00:04:47.600] anemia, um, and also PNH and, um, MDS.
[00:04:52.560] And what that entails is it's basically when your red cell, red blood cells, white blood
[00:04:58.260] cells, and your platelets, um, uh, kind of all just, um, how can I say it?
[00:05:10.080] it just, everything goes down. You, you, you start losing blood and you cannot create
[00:05:16.400] any more blood. You can't create any more platelets without supportive care. And what
[00:05:21.460] it ends up doing is it creates bone marrow, um, failure. So my son was working at a 2%,
[00:05:27.220] 7% bone marrow. And so, um, so being that said, um, it is a form of a blood cancer
[00:05:36.930] and a very rare blood cancer um and it doesn't meet some of the forms of like leukemia and like
[00:05:44.930] you know all of those different kinds of forms of cancer so it's it's it's very rare and um
[00:05:50.590] you know never heard of it it just happened he was um he was one month away from turning 18 years
[00:05:58.490] old captain of his football team um had a scholarship to go to temple university for
[00:06:03.610] football. Um, you know, he had, he had his life in his hands, you know, he was, uh, an honor student
[00:06:09.630] beyond with school and, um, you know, a three sport athlete, you know, he, he really, um,
[00:06:16.930] you know, he really, uh, you know, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And then this happened,
[00:06:24.610] it just happens, you know, it, it happened. And, um, and, um, so one of the things I wanted to
[00:06:31.590] talk about today that my son really felt passionately about is, um, you know, when you,
[00:06:39.170] when you get these kinds of things, you, they look for the siblings to see if they could be a match.
[00:06:44.190] And my, my son and my, um, my, my family, um, we were not a match. And so what there is,
[00:06:51.850] it's called, um, be the match. It's now called, um, N M, uh, what is it? I'm sorry. They just
[00:07:00.650] changed their name because it used to be be the match for for years they always have like you
[00:07:06.010] know different names but um but it's um um what is it nb it's national nmb oh gosh national bone
[00:07:20.140] marrow national bone marrow oh my goodness gracious this is gonna bother me welcome back
[00:07:25.680] do as we're talking, but you know, so, but it's, you know, but it's, yeah, well, I guess we'll have
[00:07:31.800] to, you know, come back to that, but no N M D P national marrow donor program. Okay. That's what
[00:07:39.660] it is. I apologize. Oh my goodness. Now I'm a little nervous because they are just, they were
[00:07:44.480] known as be the match. So it's a registry that you go, it's a, it's a nationwide registry that
[00:07:49.440] you go to try to find a match. And, um, my son was, um, half black and half white. So, um, his,
[00:07:57.400] his background, his background, ethnic, you know, his ethnic background, um, uh, 70, 79% of white
[00:08:05.380] people, um, uh, are on the, on the registry and, um, you can get, it's a 79% chance that you can
[00:08:15.460] find a match unfortunately with my son's you know with his ethnic background it was a 29 percent
[00:08:21.420] and so he was trying to passionately you know he went on the news a few times he had be the
[00:08:28.100] batch drives also blood drives as well um he spoke of it very very much in public um to get people to
[00:08:36.000] really um of uh uh you know of different ethnic backgrounds not just white you know backgrounds
[00:08:45.400] but to come forward and to join um the registry you know to be a donor you know so you know
[00:08:51.580] because when you do that it multiplies then of when you can actually find you know a match you
[00:08:57.300] know when that happens and so so for my son you know he was half black and there his his his um
[00:09:05.160] ethnic background the tissue is actually very different than what mine is it's extremely
[00:09:11.780] different. And, um, so it, so it goes to, that's where we have to search for. So we needed to find
[00:09:21.340] somebody of my son's ethnic background of being black to, um, be the donor 29% chance of finding
[00:09:29.040] it on, on the thing. So that's really admirable to use the, the fight, you know, obviously the
[00:09:37.860] news, the publicity was for building awareness for his case, but he used that not only for himself,
[00:09:46.820] but selflessly to just promote that. I saw in the notes that he had a tie dye sale, raised $500.
[00:09:57.940] So to put money into the cause that is there to support you, that's like really holistic. You
[00:10:06.560] know i found that really admirable i couldn't believe he was doing it i was like you you're
[00:10:11.600] you're having so to to backtrack quick to get to that we um he finally after two years and four
[00:10:18.740] months found a donor it was a nine out of ten donor but of how the genetics are they can work
[00:10:25.180] with a nine out of ten donor so he finally went for his bone marrow transplant and it's a it's a
[00:10:32.100] process they take you to ground zero it's not something the actual patient itself um that is
[00:10:38.780] getting the bone marrow transplant it's it's a very tough um it's a very tough it's they take
[00:10:48.640] you to ground zero they kill every cell in your body and you know blasts of all kinds of cocktails
[00:10:54.500] of every kind of chemo and radiation to the highest amounts to kill every cell in your body
[00:11:00.600] and to kill your existing bone marrow it's very tough it's like you're slowly killing you know
[00:11:06.460] so you can create and you know connect with another life another dna so um so he was in
[00:11:12.780] there and he was very sick and um he said i want to have a tie dye um sale and raise money for the
[00:11:21.980] kids he loved the kids you know um he he felt so he felt so much for them you know because they
[00:11:29.080] were so young they didn't know what was going on they're confused you know and and when they would
[00:11:33.860] see him my son was like six three you know 280 pounds like muscle you know and very very strong
[00:11:41.020] and tough and he looked scary at first you know but then he you know he just went down with him
[00:11:46.180] and play with him talk to him all the time so while he was having the transplant he raised
[00:11:50.680] five hundred dollars through his tie dyes and he donated it to the the children's hospital of
[00:11:56.100] Philadelphia, the, the, um, uh, bone marrow transplant unit for the children, their kids
[00:12:01.560] room for their toys, you know, if I, you know, so he did, he did that while he was having the
[00:12:06.040] transplant, that was a lot of work. And, um, and, um, yeah, it was pretty amazing that he did that
[00:12:14.240] and inspired me of things of why, you know, I continue to do those things today now.
[00:12:19.360] So that was something else. Wow. Yeah. That was something else.
[00:12:24.520] it leads into just the background the mission statement of amp clothing and what's your you
[00:12:32.550] know the legacy that you're pushing you know the mindset it's it's more than a clothing brand
[00:12:37.970] you know it's not just a logo even though the clothing is beautiful thank you well it's everything
[00:12:44.300] is his but yes it's it's not just it's it's it's it's not just a brand it's it's it's a lifestyle
[00:12:51.310] and that's his exact words actually the brand that is it's not just clothing it's a lifestyle
[00:12:56.850] and um you know in his mission statement what is um amp and he means possible amp is empowerment
[00:13:03.590] of oneself the will and the drive that we seek through hard work that shows real character
[00:13:08.490] i want to inspire elevate and help people in so many ways keep going and put the effort
[00:13:17.360] and hard work into where you want to go for true desire to live and will to live you know that is
[00:13:24.920] the that is the mission statement and I have that mission statement actually on every single piece
[00:13:29.960] of clothing the tags you know um you know I mean he you know it's the empowerment in oneself
[00:13:37.400] you know oneself you know we we go through you know one thing that my son really when he
[00:13:44.980] established damn clothing in 2018, it was not just because he was sick. My son prevailed and had to
[00:13:51.720] do through a lot of different obstacles physically and mentally, you know, from this, you know,
[00:13:56.520] we all do right from the time, you know, he was, you know, young boy up. And, um, so he, he, um,
[00:14:03.660] you know, he was, he was really passionate about, you know, inspiring and trying to empower people
[00:14:12.480] to take control of their physical being, of their mental being, like he was trying to do with
[00:14:20.220] himself. And he knew it wasn't tough. I mean, it wasn't, I'm sorry that it wasn't easy, you know,
[00:14:25.760] and he wanted people to wake up in the morning when, you know, we, at the end of the day,
[00:14:33.520] you know, and this is the truth. We have lots of people, most people don't, but some people do.
[00:14:38.920] the people that come into your life and they give you great positive affirmations very positive
[00:14:43.540] they lift you up and they it's great for that moment yeah it's great for that it can inspire
[00:14:48.540] you throughout that day it truly can and then you know you're left with yourself you're still left
[00:14:55.220] with yourself you're left you still have to make your own choices and decision making and you know
[00:15:01.260] and you can't run away from yourself. You know, you can't. And, you know, so my, my son,
[00:15:08.660] you know, he, he really believed in that, you know, you can fall, you can fall, you can fall
[00:15:14.580] every night if you have to, but that next morning you got to get right back up. And what do you do
[00:15:19.300] when you get up? You get dressed, you look at yourself in the mirror. And when you're wearing
[00:15:25.080] AMP clothing, you're wearing thousands of stories. You're not just, you're not just, you know, we all
[00:15:30.340] want to wear something that means something you know how many times how many times do you get
[00:15:35.320] something and you know you like it because it's great first of all it's great material garment
[00:15:39.600] you know of course that's number one right but what does that clothing really mean how is that
[00:15:45.340] going to inspire you is it just going to you know you know is it really do you know how is it going
[00:15:51.740] to uplift you up throughout your entire day you're going to go on a job interview you're about to
[00:15:57.080] you know do something that you've never did before i meet somebody new meet somebody new
[00:16:03.380] you know and and so you want to have that you want to be inspired you want to you want to have
[00:16:08.760] that empowerment and again you're by yourself and when you're wearing your clothing you know
[00:16:14.360] no one fights alone because when you're wearing am clothing you're you're you're with so many
[00:16:19.160] others at that time that are fighting through for themselves and you know that that are really are
[00:16:24.900] fighting through, you know, so it's, you know, so he wanted clothing that, you know, um, you know,
[00:16:32.060] that really, you know, embodied his spirit. Exactly. Right. Exactly. That's awesome.
[00:16:39.190] Yeah. How has that helped you with the pushing the brand and, you know, it's, it's work. I know
[00:16:47.050] you wanted to tell some people about the work you've done multiple events now with another one
[00:16:53.730] coming up so yes let's talk about the behind the scenes you know what sort of work goes into
[00:16:59.870] building and pushing the brand so um it's me and my daughter um and my two little grandchildren
[00:17:08.830] they help me with am clothing too yeah it's cute so um but um behind the scenes of am clothing
[00:17:16.490] from the beginning until now um you know i've i've raised money for charities i've given back
[00:17:22.390] to pick you over and shop um lehigh valley hospital families i pick out you know and i
[00:17:28.070] give donations too so when we do yearly when we do the um tie-dye events we do tie-dye events
[00:17:34.910] yearly this particular past year unfortunately due to some personal issues with my own health
[00:17:41.590] situations i was enabled i had to back off from doing it the tie-dye event this year which i am
[00:17:48.920] going to bring back out it just had to be delayed a little bit but um so i do a tie-dye event every
[00:17:54.680] year and the money that i raise um i i half of proceeds go to charities and another half goes
[00:18:01.060] back into amp clothing i um pretty much do everything by myself um i'm a pretty solo with
[00:18:08.460] it um i'm very particular of how i like things and everybody has their lives and this is something
[00:18:13.620] that is my passion so much i mean i sit in my basement with my machines and um come up with
[00:18:20.580] my son has a lot of designs that aren't finished and then he has a lot of designs i have to wait
[00:18:26.160] to release because i need a substantial amount of time now right like which is tough you know
[00:18:31.880] because you know i can't just throw everything on the you know on the on the shelf or on the
[00:18:37.720] on the machine yeah machine i can't do that because i need to stretch it out for some time
[00:18:43.860] now because i'm never going to give up on so i do um you know so we did uh what's coming up right
[00:18:52.550] now is the annual pop-up of 2024 every year um for the celebration of my son's birthday what
[00:19:00.070] better way to first of all have a distraction um sorry that makes sense a distraction right
[00:19:15.300] so every year um for a distraction and to celebrate and to to right you know it's it's
[00:19:24.680] a celebration uh but every single year since his passing i do an ant pop-up and i've always
[00:19:30.160] done with my home and that's not always like the best thing to do you know and so the marketing of
[00:19:36.140] that i had to really tone down a lot but i got great wonderful um uh wonderful turnouts you know
[00:19:44.660] with that i even did it during um um um the pandemic and you know i had a certain way when
[00:19:51.880] people had to come in and so forth you know and everything so um so i do so i do that every year
[00:19:57.840] and again i donate to charity and then it goes back into amp clothing and um this year um i this
[00:20:05.460] is going to be the biggest event that amp clothing has ever had i'm very excited about it this year
[00:20:09.640] like this year yeah and this year um is is a big one so um where's it at it's gonna be um at what
[00:20:18.000] is it nine 901 jefferson street it's at the memorial um jefferson memorial right behind the
[00:20:25.200] old tories of us over in whitehall and whitehall okay yeah so um so yeah it's gonna be yeah the
[00:20:32.200] 901 Jefferson Street in Whitehall.
[00:20:33.780] That's where it's going to be.
[00:20:35.120] So the Fullerton Memorial Athletic Association.
[00:20:37.340] That's where it's going to be at.
[00:20:38.560] So free parking, lots of parking.
[00:20:40.560] You don't have to worry about where you're going to park.
[00:20:43.120] And, you know, organ donation awareness that day.
[00:20:46.660] Event DJ Romeo is going to be there.
[00:20:48.720] He's my favorite DJ in this valley.
[00:20:52.560] He's just like amazing.
[00:20:53.640] Shout out to Romeo Gay.
[00:20:54.440] Yeah, shout out to Romeo.
[00:20:56.340] So I'm really excited that he's going to,
[00:20:58.220] he's a really big part of what it is that I'm going to be doing.
[00:21:01.120] um carter mckinney is going to be there um i love carter mckinney he's he's he's he's the he is the
[00:21:09.620] networking king i call him for sure i mean he's just a and um he's really connected with am
[00:21:17.660] clothing in a very close way so um so he's also going to be there as a vendor and also as a
[00:21:22.500] photographer as well that's awesome big shout out to carter yes and um um and so and so there's
[00:21:30.200] going to be a lot of organizations there. I'm doing a blood drive. It's called Adopt-A-Day
[00:21:36.560] Blood Drive. Unfortunately, they couldn't get a truck out there. We are in a crisis with
[00:21:42.200] these blood banks right now of staffing, donors. And so it's tough. So what I'm doing is Adopt-A-Day
[00:21:52.020] Blood Drive for that week for my son. So people can just click on a QR code and be able to sign
[00:21:58.700] up to in honor of his name and to give blood at a later time so i hope people will do it because it
[00:22:04.860] saves people's lives i mean it saves their saves them a day and an hour a day a week a month a
[00:22:11.560] lifetime giving blood if it wasn't for people giving blood my son would have died the very
[00:22:15.360] first night that i brought him into the hospital if it wasn't for people doing that so it's
[00:22:19.540] extremely important is it really is it's so important for to give blood anyway and then i'm
[00:22:25.740] going to have a lot of special guests there as well um smooth is going to be there from temple
[00:22:30.020] university a brotherhood that my son was involved in when he was at temple he did go to temple
[00:22:34.560] university for that year oh that's amazing he was sick but he still went to temple university not on
[00:22:40.300] the scholarship that's another story um but um he did go for that year and he so smooth brothers is
[00:22:47.180] going to be there as special guests as well um so anyway so i'm gonna have a lot of performances
[00:22:54.020] is there um ralph ralphick is going to be there um he's a christian um rapper gospel rapper i
[00:23:02.260] listen to him yeah i listen to really like on and on his song on and on yes yes so he's gonna be
[00:23:09.920] there i met him at um the photo party at the photo party same here yeah i think it was was
[00:23:15.360] it the second photo party or the first photo he was at the first one okay the first one yes i did
[00:23:20.720] the video for the two of them right and i remember it was he was at the first one yeah yeah so um
[00:23:28.140] so yeah so so so he's he's gonna be there so that's gonna be exciting too um i'm coming in
[00:23:35.300] with a really big power speech that's gonna start off uh with a really big fashion show
[00:23:41.340] that is what i'm really excited and nervous yeah so yeah yeah and the g block if we call it the g
[00:23:48.160] block is going to be there it's a lot of my son's friends they were like a family and um you know
[00:23:56.840] they're coming all together for this and they're really excited for this um and um yeah so they're
[00:24:04.340] making sure they're coming all together um that's how we're going to start the i call it the
[00:24:09.160] introduction to um you know the event on that day um and then we're going to have um like i said a
[00:24:17.080] lot of other vendors are going to be there you know sneaker heads are going to be there you know
[00:24:21.780] fly heaters is going to be there um uh frank is going to be there frank the collect that the
[00:24:28.360] collectster yeah which was actually my son's one of my son's best friends so he's going to be there
[00:24:34.220] as a vendor serena berries is going to be there as a vendor huge yeah um yeah serena berries is
[00:24:41.160] going to be there um uh a town representing have you ever heard of him so he's going to be there
[00:24:48.020] as well he he really represents allentown and he's very very positive you know and um i met him
[00:24:54.560] through my journey of networking as well you know and um nombre is going to be there the number of
[00:25:00.180] garments is um uh they are he is really is a very close friend of my sons and he is um he is one of
[00:25:11.960] many but a big one that really inspired my son to get into the clothing business yeah so you know
[00:25:19.600] so he's so so he's gonna be there um which is great um you know uh ricky dutchman's gonna be
[00:25:26.800] there he's a graffiti artist um um who else is gonna be there i got i just gotta i just want
[00:25:33.380] to make sure oh and um uh team trent is going to be there um her name is jody she also lost her son
[00:25:42.540] and she's also going to be talking about organ donation as well yes and she's also one of you
[00:25:47.940] know she's a best-selling author right now so she's also going to be there a special guest as
[00:25:53.560] well and also to talk about organ donation as well which is exciting and her and i you know um i've
[00:26:00.200] you know we both have champions i say of our children you know so we are in that same
[00:26:05.240] you know boat in a lot of ways and she's she's passing her legacy on in another way that she'll
[00:26:11.240] be able to explain when she's you know if somebody goes to the event and um thrifty teas is going to
[00:26:16.920] be there you remember them they were at the photo shoot so you know vintage clothing and so you know
[00:26:22.560] i really have a good relationship with them so they're going to be there too which is you know
[00:26:27.040] which is really great and you know people are going to come in and you know um it's a ticketed
[00:26:32.440] event i've never done a ticketed event before um and the the money is going to go back into charity
[00:26:39.440] it's going to pick i'm going to be picking the charities of my choices and um and back into
[00:26:45.240] am clothing just like i've been doing but this is a ticketed event and so nobody can get in without
[00:26:51.380] it you know without a ticket but it's for a great cause yeah we'll put some information on how
[00:26:55.920] listeners can get tickets this will air before the event so i also have a another author best
[00:27:02.520] selling author or not you know she's another author she's a poet and she's going to be
[00:27:07.800] performing china and she's going to be okay she's good did you see um i put it on um i put it on the
[00:27:15.640] instagram with her oh i saw her i met her at empower 610 day and i saw her in the clip for
[00:27:21.380] power 610 wearing amp clothing it's funny i was just talking to somebody i was like yeah you know
[00:27:27.280] i'm gonna have barbara from amp clothing yeah and we talked about it i said she's gonna be on the
[00:27:31.660] podcast then when i'm scrolling my phone the very top thing was that and she was wearing amp and i
[00:27:37.260] was like look at that like how serendipitous it's crazy isn't that so right there yeah yeah she she
[00:27:43.180] was really good friends with my son um in high school and for you know a long time and um i love
[00:27:48.700] that she takes um amp on her journey you know she really takes it you know any means possible
[00:27:54.480] honestly right on her journey with her it's pretty amazing she's going to be there so i'm
[00:27:59.360] excited that she's going to be there as well you know and um you know um you know and um
[00:28:09.000] rest of souls is going to be there they are a biker club for security so they're going to be
[00:28:14.300] there as well so security will be on site as well and um listen i mean it's gonna and at the you
[00:28:21.140] know how the event's gonna go is you know there's so many different things that are going to be
[00:28:24.980] occurring of course you can buy am clothing there then as well and you're gonna get a nice meal
[00:28:29.960] and some drinks and um we're gonna celebrate at the end of the night it would have been my son's
[00:28:36.880] 25th birthday and what better way to celebrate than saving lives impacting people spreading
[00:28:46.250] awareness yeah um and coming together um as a community to try to make a difference
[00:28:55.370] that's what my son ultimately always wanted was to make a difference and you know and i'm his
[00:29:04.030] messenger and i will be his messenger for a lifetime to come more and more and more every day
[00:29:11.430] um it's very hard as a mother it's very hard to be taken seriously too behind the scenes listen
[00:29:19.620] you know behind the scenes of it all you know i'm working constantly on am clothing trying to
[00:29:26.120] sit i stand in my i stay in my basement okay marcus what is it that you want me to do to finish
[00:29:31.220] When am I going to do this?
[00:29:32.160] When I'm going to do that?
[00:29:32.840] I got to get this screen printed.
[00:29:34.100] I got to get that screen printed.
[00:29:36.620] You know, and to organize everything, as you know, like it's, it's a lot, it's a lot.
[00:29:44.000] It's, it's, but I love it.
[00:29:46.340] Yeah.
[00:29:46.900] You got to love the process, you know, it's fulfilling.
[00:29:50.140] I mean, to be able to push to any means possible in anything.
[00:29:54.300] I mean, that's why I started the podcast in this theme.
[00:29:58.900] You know, there's all sorts of stuff you can talk about and put a show together.
[00:30:02.500] But I wanted to remind myself every week, every other week, you know, there's a reason
[00:30:07.040] to keep going.
[00:30:08.620] There's days I wake up, I don't want to do anything.
[00:30:11.580] You know what I mean?
[00:30:12.440] And I didn't lose a child, God forbid.
[00:30:16.160] So I can only imagine.
[00:30:19.000] But being able to push it, how can people donate and what, you know, you never know
[00:30:24.640] who's listening.
[00:30:25.320] well um right now i have how you can donate right now to me um um regarding well blood obviously
[00:30:35.960] keystone um miller keystone bank blood bank um you know and then obviously registering for be the
[00:30:42.640] match um which is the like i like i said the oh my goodness gracious the nmdp now um you know
[00:30:50.660] registering for that and to donate back into amp clothing you know to reach me on instagram
[00:30:56.160] um you know my ign instagram amp clothing underscore and um also i have a website um
[00:31:04.160] any means any means possible dot my shopify.com um those are the two areas that i have right now
[00:31:12.580] i'm working i'm i'm working on the website you know that can be that could be a lot yeah that's
[00:31:18.740] That's a lot. So, and like I said, I do everything solo, um, with the help of my daughter. Um, for
[00:31:24.220] sure. She puts in her input as well. Um, you know, but solely it's, it's me. And, um, so I'm,
[00:31:31.080] I'm working really hard on trying to set everything up, you know, perfectly, you know,
[00:31:36.200] but definitely to reach out to me, you know, on there, you know, and also I have, you know,
[00:31:40.140] I have beacons on there now when you go on beacons, you can text message me right off the
[00:31:45.140] bat, make a call, you know, and it's right out in the Instagram, you know, you know, bio, right.
[00:31:50.220] And my bio, you go right on there and you, and you can message me in that way as well. And there's
[00:31:54.440] also, you know, Venmo on there and cash shop on there. If anybody would ever want to donate into
[00:31:59.800] M clothing and, and to, you know, to really help create, you know, this mission. I mean,
[00:32:06.460] it's a mission. This is, this is definitely, it's definitely a mission like no other, you know,
[00:32:11.100] when you um when you are you know taking over somebody's legacy you know especially when it's
[00:32:18.060] your son's legacy you don't want to embarrass them and you don't want to you know right right
[00:32:23.460] i mean i'm the mom like how am i going to do this that's what i was doing so much in the background
[00:32:28.000] while i'm grieving my story behind uh amp clothing of the scenes was very tough and um
[00:32:40.000] you know, and I, and I questioned myself a million times. Um, am I the one that's supposed
[00:32:53.310] like, why did you trust me to do this? You know, I mean, the last words my son ever said was,
[00:33:00.280] I love you and I trust you and couldn't save him, but he fought for 37 days. Um,
[00:33:13.030] you know real quick to backtrack you know what ended up happening you know i don't want anyone
[00:33:17.660] to think he died from having the bone marrow transplant um what after the transplant he was
[00:33:25.110] there for almost two months and he came home and he was home for four weeks and all of a sudden
[00:33:31.090] got a fever we thought it was a they called a hiccup at the time which i hate that word now
[00:33:36.490] hiccup i hate it but they call it a hiccup and they said um you know they said oh you know so
[00:33:46.310] we had to ambulance him back to philadelphia and he was there and i had to go back to work
[00:33:52.110] that's another story all right let me not back get off track anyway and um he was there for seven
[00:34:01.720] days and all of a sudden one day he couldn't breathe and um from that from then on um you know
[00:34:11.810] he was on and off of he was on three different ventilators before he went on event i was there
[00:34:16.630] with him and he we were trying to figure out what was going to be happening and basically what was
[00:34:21.110] happening is his his lungs were cementing shut we had no idea why though they said we don't know why
[00:34:28.850] that's the hard part somebody kept saying i don't know i don't know i don't know
[00:34:33.080] and he was still engrafting engrafting meaning still connecting to his new dna um he was at 90
[00:34:40.540] i think at the time 97 match of the dna so there was nothing wrong with the actual bone marrow
[00:34:47.080] transplant but of course you know as a mom yeah i was like yeah you know i was getting you know i
[00:34:52.600] was i'm a very big huge advocate for my children and um i was very huge i had a very huge role
[00:34:58.780] in that hospital. Um, anyone that knows me and knows in that time, it was very raw and real.
[00:35:04.080] And, um, you know, um, anyway, and, um, so he was on ECMO and all kinds of, uh,
[00:35:14.180] machines, dialysis, you know, he was having multiple, um, uh, organ failure. So when he went
[00:35:24.030] to on when he got when he was about to go on you know at the start of all of that um he couldn't
[00:35:31.330] talk much because he couldn't breathe very well and i was trying to give him ice chips and so
[00:35:34.770] forth and we decided that he was going to go on event and he passed all medical rights over to
[00:35:39.950] me which was confusing at first you know as a mom you know you're like what and then um and to find
[00:35:46.430] out then um you know um that he had to go on event and he just decided so and then he talked to me
[00:35:53.250] about AMP clothing. And then he said, I love you. And I trust you. And he went off. And then
[00:35:58.170] when he came back, um, from, um, from, from, from getting all of that, taking care of getting on
[00:36:04.870] event, they said that he's going to die immediately when they came back immediately.
[00:36:12.860] And so this is my story of letting everyone know of like, um, any means possible, how, what it,
[00:36:22.490] So how my start of it was, was they came back and they said, he's going to die any minute.
[00:36:34.000] His, his, his lungs are totally smitten.
[00:36:36.240] And I'm like, what happened?
[00:36:37.340] What's wrong?
[00:36:37.900] What, what's, what is it?
[00:36:39.240] We don't know.
[00:36:40.620] They had no idea what was wrong with him.
[00:36:42.660] And here I am in the biggest hospital.
[00:36:44.660] I'm thinking to myself, how do they not know what's wrong with my son?
[00:36:47.560] and um so my start of my journey was the moment I said if it was you or me what would you do
[00:36:58.280] well we would put you on ECMO which is um an artificial lung machine I said then why aren't
[00:37:05.790] you doing that for him and um they said he's a bone marrow transplant patient he's nobody nobody
[00:37:12.170] will live if they go on that or off of it because you eventually have to be taken off of it no one's
[00:37:19.370] ever no one's lived off of it in this hospital and um and i and i said i want him on that machine
[00:37:25.630] i'm not giving up on him all right um and they they gave me resistance because you know they're
[00:37:36.510] doctors and they they're looking at the textbook the statistics and you know and so forth it's not
[00:37:42.930] their son. Exactly. And I said, we need to do any means possible. That was my journey of
[00:37:50.290] how my son's brand really embedded in me. It was at that very moment, the strength and the courage
[00:37:59.450] that I had to pull out of my soul to say, I need to fight with my son right now. He has done his
[00:38:09.530] job he has been doing his job he has been doing any means possible but he tried to find a cure
[00:38:15.450] he did everything raise money you know awareness he raised money he tried to find a cure he's
[00:38:22.080] trying to i mean he took over his health care like you wouldn't imagine and trying new things and
[00:38:27.580] you know things that were weren't even out yet of trying to cure himself i mean there were so
[00:38:34.200] many different things that we did that he did to to try to get himself better so I made he got on
[00:38:41.440] that ECMO machine and he lived through it and they were shocked they couldn't believe that he even
[00:38:46.590] lived through that surgery and he lived through it and he got on the ECMO machine and then you
[00:38:52.190] know and then they said you know now his kidneys are going he's not going to live he's any every
[00:38:56.410] two seconds they were saying he was dying and I kept saying well do this now do this now do this
[00:39:00.450] network. So we just kept, we were, we were throwing everything you could possibly throw
[00:39:05.010] at him. And, um, you know, when he was fighting and, you know, he was trying to breathe on his
[00:39:11.330] own, you, you saw the little things and then we, we, he, he was in a coma and then he was trying
[00:39:16.830] to come out of that coma and his, he had great brain, you know, everything was there. And, um,
[00:39:22.890] I had, and the only one he would listen to would be me at that time. Um, but, um, that was the
[00:39:28.970] time when he you know his whole life he was thinking of everybody else and this was his
[00:39:34.520] moment that he had to totally 100 just think of himself and he fought for and and then we took
[00:39:43.020] him off of ECMO because he was getting better and he lived and they said that he would die if
[00:39:48.980] we did that so we we took every single step we could possibly take to save his life there was
[00:39:55.660] nothing that even though in my mom of mom's mind i say something else but in reality um there was
[00:40:04.900] nothing else that we didn't throw at him and the entire time they said we don't know what's wrong
[00:40:11.820] with him entire time that how do you not know like you know what i mean yeah how do you not
[00:40:18.330] know that and it was just and so we had a big dirt team hundreds and hundreds of doctors were
[00:40:21.850] working on him. He was the worst young man that was in that hospital. He was fighting for his life
[00:40:29.010] and I went out and I did these lives. It was my first time and I was a mess. People came to see
[00:40:38.260] him. People rallied church. They, people were going to church praying. I mean, he had a village
[00:40:43.020] behind him, people that were really, really, really fighting for him. And anyway, whatever
[00:40:53.420] brought him in there started happening again and long story short marcus passed away
[00:41:01.860] um november 4th of 2019 and when he passed away we still didn't know why he was still engrafting
[00:41:11.060] i mean there was always that threat at that time that now you know because he had no immune system
[00:41:17.400] so here we are throwing everything at him we're gonna this poor thing that just got his bone
[00:41:23.460] marrow is what was what what's going to happen with this bone marrow i mean this donor um we
[00:41:29.280] reached out to the donor we're not supposed to do that by law we reached out to the donor to have
[00:41:33.580] any questions about you know them and we felt bad doing that because when you become a donor um
[00:41:39.800] it's like anonymous it's anonymous yeah you know it's anonymous you don't ever have to meet the
[00:41:45.600] person ever again you don't you don't have to it's anonymous if you you can sign up to do that
[00:41:50.560] later on in life. So I absolutely, you know, did not like to do that, but person was wonderful and
[00:41:56.500] was very understanding with it all. So that was, that was a good thing. Um, but, um, anyway, um,
[00:42:02.860] and to make a very, to, to make my, this, cause that's a very long story and I could go detail
[00:42:08.300] like no other about that. Um, you know, one thing I do want to say though, um, as much as we're
[00:42:14.640] talking about AMP clothing in any means possible, um, when you lose a child, um, you know what,
[00:42:19.840] yeah i'm sure you've said it too when you lose a child you say um i would never i wouldn't survive
[00:42:28.310] that i would die you do you do at that very moment it's like nothing i've ever experienced
[00:42:41.520] in my life at that very moment that is what happens and um so it's been a journey for myself
[00:42:50.660] and um i felt like i really let him down in a lot of ways um survivor's guilt and all kinds of
[00:43:00.580] things come into play but my son left a treasure it's a treasure you have clothing is a treasure
[00:43:06.000] not many people have that that's lost their children and you know and i've met quite a few
[00:43:12.260] people that have and they're like what do i do now you know it's like what do i do now and i'm
[00:43:19.760] fortunate enough that I was left a treasure that I can continue his legacy. I can continue
[00:43:29.950] to be his messenger. And that's, what's kept me alive. That's what's kept me. Um, that's what's,
[00:43:36.990] that's what's kept me going. And, and, um, it's, but it's been a journey. It's,
[00:43:42.570] it's really been a journey well it's not over um no but you're doing a phenomenal job i'll continue
[00:43:51.150] to push am clothing where i can wear the brand this is an amazing hoodie it's super comfortable
[00:43:57.670] feels great it fits perfect it's real quality so i'll wear this to help promote the brand and any
[00:44:04.270] of my listeners you know if everybody anybody donates 50 cents go and check out the website
[00:44:10.270] we'll have that posted in the description and everything like that uh if you want to just repeat
[00:44:15.110] again where they could find you and then we'll kind of land the plane well just one more time
[00:44:20.390] come to my annual pop-up 2024 tickets are in eventbrite so look on eventbrite for those tickets
[00:44:26.350] and it is um april 28th sunday april 28th from three to nine um be prepared to leave there
[00:44:34.390] impacted and feeling every kind of emotional emotion that you can have and i'm having a great
[00:44:40.310] time and um you know and be able to meet me and i'm gonna be doing the power of speech and you
[00:44:45.110] know having so many people there and um you can see me on amp clothing underscore um and you'll
[00:44:51.630] see the instagram and you'll see the onk on there which is everlasting life you know so my son had
[00:44:56.470] that and um and you'll see the onk to imp clothing underscore and again you can go in my bio to look
[00:45:02.630] in the threads and also to my beacon accounts as well for any kind of donations and you can check
[00:45:08.670] out the website but you can reach me personally um on there through text message on beacons if
[00:45:14.470] you're interested in something or looking at something but right now my big what i'm really
[00:45:20.010] doing right now is i'm really preparing for a big bulk for this event so but yeah so definitely
[00:45:26.030] check me on there and again you know any means possible dot my shopify.com you know is the
[00:45:31.290] website um like i said i'm working on it very hard and it's not up to to everything that i want
[00:45:37.330] at this particular time you know but you know i hope people i'm sure people people have already
[00:45:42.310] seen amp clothing people are seeing them like all around throughout the town like wait a minute what
[00:45:47.230] is this you know what is this yeah you know what i mean and so um you know and um to tell people
[00:45:53.350] also you know you got to get it by any means possible and what that also means is some people
[00:45:57.290] think that getting it by any means possible is you know going for something and then becoming
[00:46:02.110] successful right right like is it and then if it doesn't happen oh my god i did any means
[00:46:07.170] any means possible is going for something and if it doesn't work out you got to look at all
[00:46:12.530] your other resources you got to look at all of your other um options and things that you can do
[00:46:17.790] and you might have to do you have to do it differently you know it's about change you know
[00:46:22.410] and, and, and, and, and, and so, and you got to keep going with that. Okay. It didn't work this
[00:46:28.150] way. Well, we got to find another way. You know what I mean? Great example. My son, they said,
[00:46:32.610] you can't have any more children. He said, well, okay, I'm going to the sperm bank. Do you
[00:46:36.030] understand what I mean? Like you got to find different ways to do things. You know, people
[00:46:41.010] are going to tell you all your life. You can't do something, especially doctors, especially doctors,
[00:46:46.150] teachers parents you know everybody you know well you know you got to find different ways to be able
[00:46:53.530] to negotiate or to find your dreams it's not always going to be just one straight and narrow
[00:46:59.650] one way and and and you gotta you gotta find something in you um and something that can
[00:47:07.370] inspire you and and any means possible is that for you know everything anything that's positive
[00:47:12.990] when I'm talking about, you know, any means possible, rob a bank. No, no, no, no, no. You
[00:47:16.750] know, that's, it's, it's much, it's a very positive mission statement that my son really
[00:47:22.190] wanted to instill and I want to instill into people, um, you know, and so, yeah, so, yeah.
[00:47:28.510] So get it by any means possible, you know, and don't give up. Don't quit. Don't quit. Uh, listen,
[00:47:34.510] I've wanted to quit a million times. I, I, you know, there was this one, um, there was this one,
[00:47:40.870] um, uh, networking. I did, I think it was the second photo party. I got up and I was like,
[00:47:45.030] I don't want to fucking do this. You know what I mean? You know, Oh, excuse me. But you know,
[00:47:49.790] I don't want to do this. You know, like I, I want to quit. I don't want to do this. What am I doing?
[00:47:54.650] Like he should be doing this. This is ridiculous, you know, and so forth. And I don't want to do it.
[00:47:59.270] I didn't want to do it. And then I thought people are counting on me. I've made commitments. I have
[00:48:05.030] a family. I have my daughter and my grandchildren. I, I, I, I've made a commitment with you. Remember
[00:48:10.450] or the last time like yeah i made this commitment with you and then then it didn't work out to
[00:48:17.850] reschedule yes it works out yeah but you know so yeah so that's you know any means possible
[00:48:24.270] you know and any means possible could even go down to the fact of i had a punch list uh for
[00:48:30.070] months months after you know that happened with my son and market after marcus and um so um i had
[00:48:39.530] have a punch list saying number one brush your teeth yeah wash your hair just to go through it
[00:48:46.070] get up out of bed sometimes that is what any means possible is you know at three o'clock in the
[00:48:51.310] morning you know majority of people they aren't having somebody say come on get up off of that
[00:48:55.630] floor you got to find something in you you got to find something in you and you got to find your
[00:49:01.210] purpose somehow some way you cannot you cannot give up because when you give up you exist and
[00:49:07.690] just existing is not one thing my my son know my son had said i wrote it down because i wanted to
[00:49:14.130] make sure i remembered he said he knew he wouldn't live forever but he wanted to leave something that
[00:49:21.050] would it's amazing so yeah yeah no legacy is not leaving something for people it's leaving something
[00:49:31.390] in people so beautiful well i love to promote the pop-up shop yes i'm gonna do everything i can to
[00:49:41.450] be there i have it on my calendar so as long as nothing you never know what comes up but
[00:49:46.390] we should be good i'm excited for it we'll push it um barbara delio i will not lose podcasts and
[00:49:53.470] clothing thanks for listening thank you thank you for listening to another episode of i will not
[00:50:00.410] Lose Podcast. To support the show, visit IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can subscribe to
[00:50:06.210] your favorite podcast player, share the episode link, leave a comment. Your contribution is
[00:50:11.910] greatly appreciated. And if you're listening in and can't see the QR code for donation,
[00:50:16.610] go to TOTheDesigner.com slash links, and there's instructions to donate up there. Thanks so much.