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microphone check one two one two good morning good evening good night good afternoon good dusk
at dawn shout out to my spotify listeners google podcast stitcher and special shout out to my
listeners out in belgium checking my analytics and i see you guys are coming back so big shout
out to belgium in the house big shout out to india my other international listeners coming live from
my voice to your phone, computer, headphones, TV, car stereo, smartwatch, Bluetooth speaker.
You could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here right now. Please take a moment to
recognize that it is now, right now. Whether you're working, running, exercising, cleaning,
laying down, flying, driving, be grateful we're alive. Failure can be frightening. However,
as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from failure to failure without
losing enthusiasm. And in the spirit of going from failure to failure, I lost all the audio
for this episode. So we're going to talk about perfectionism and you get to hear draft two
of perfectionism because draft one is lost to time completely. But this is I Will Not Lose
podcast where we set out to prove that everything is learned from failure and we must persevere and
recognize it as one step closer to success. I'm your host, Tony Ortiz. Let's jump right in.
Perfectionism and failure. How do these relate? I didn't spend a whole lot of time on my notes
in the spirit of the episode. I figure I'll practice what I preach with this whole podcast
thing. And I say, you know, it doesn't have to be perfect. Just go ahead, jump in and do it.
and I went in and I did it. It was all right, man. It was a pretty dope episode. And then
as I was editing it, I realized I lost all the audio. I halfway thought about putting out the
camera audio, which would have sounded terrible if you're used to a listening experience. There's
nothing like a mic into an interface versus like an on-phone camera or an on-camera mic. So
thankfully you get draft too, if all goes according to plan. But part of what makes
me comfortable talking about what I talk about is I speak from experience. So perfectionism
is not some topic that I quickly did some research on in order to put together a podcast
episode. This is something that I struggle with and continue to struggle with. So this
podcast is going to act as a self reminder to myself to stop always trying to be perfect.
And there's a difference between striving for excellence and reaching for perfection,
which is unattainable. So, um, keeping those things in mind, you know, you still want to try,
you still want to put something out. I mean, I had, um, my daughter had friend over and they
were upstairs giggling. Somebody was running the vacuum cleaner. And I'm just thinking, oh, well,
doesn't have to be perfect. Keep on. So it's actually great that we are rerecording the
episode. But if you've ever heard of like a reporter or a journalist covering a topic that
you could tell they don't know or don't care about, it just sounds like robotic and foolish
and stuff. So rather than try to cover everything, so think about success, learn from failure and
persevering. Think about maladaptive mindsets that I've had myself, like perfectionism or
imposter syndrome that we talked about on last episode. And yeah, who would have thought my
little notes of putting together something to talk about could reach out and inspire people.
So people actually reached out to me that the episode had touched them personally, and
I thought that was really awesome.
I mean, the likes, the comments are great, but when you get a phone call from somebody
saying that's something you did, it just gives me all the reason to keep putting this out
every week.
So let's talk perfectionism.
What is it?
It's a common trait that many people possess.
It could be a positive quality that drives individuals towards excellence, but it can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure.
This fear of failure can prevent individuals from taking risks, trying new things, reaching their full potential.
So in this podcast episode, we're going to explore how perfectionism can hold you back and what you can do to break free from the need to be perfect.
so a lot of people don't get into starting something because they have a fear of what
the public is going to think of them and this is an it's understandable this is deeply rooted in
our psychology i mean for millennia if you didn't go along with what society did you were outcast
you were thrown out so if you go back to tribes you know you were pretty much kicked out of the
village and told you were, you're dead, pretty much. I mean, live on your own. I'm sure there's
the story of the outcasts that went on to thrive on their own. But for the most part, you needed
society to live and to move throughout human evolution. So we have something rooted in our
psychology when we get into, it comes out when you have the fear of public speaking, you know,
when people get in front of a bunch of people and you're essentially forcing yourself to be judged
on a stage, we start to get overwhelming feelings and people fear it worse than death because in
most senses, judging of the society would lead to your death. So I like to think that in 2023,
if you're an outcast, I guarantee there's a subreddit somewhere with thousands of people
that feel the exact same way that you feel. So it's a, in an interconnected society, it's a lot
harder to be quote unquote outcast. So I don't know, for whatever reason, I don't know if I've
worked through it through practicing in public speaking, or if I just never really gave a fuck
what people think, but, you know, sorry to be so crude, but it really doesn't affect me, you know,
in the way that the style that I dress, some people would say it's great. Some people would
say it's terrible. So I'm comfortable with it. So it works out for me. Um, depending on who I'm
meeting or what I'm doing, I'll dress for the occasion and go from there. But for the most part,
um, it's not that I follow trends, you know, I wouldn't quite call myself a trendsetter,
but I'm just kind of immune to it. I don't feel the need to jump onto something if everybody
else is on it i mean case in point harry potter legacy has been out for hogwarts legacy has been
out for like two weeks at the time of recording this and i haven't bought it yet um still haven't
found any spoilers on the internet but no honestly trends can do what they have to do but one thing
to keep in mind is that you're not going to be absolutely perfect so setting up attainable goals
for yourself. When I say the difference between striving for excellence and striving for
perfection, let's take a second on that. Many people believe that striving for perfection is
the same as striving for excellence, but in reality, they're very, very different. Striving
for excellence is about doing your best, pushing yourself to be better, and continually improving.
Striving for perfection, on the other hand, is about trying to be flawless and mistake-free,
which is not realistic or attainable. It's important to recognize the difference between
these two mindsets so that you can focus on growth and progress rather than perfection.
So what does this mean? I mean, when I want to put out, when I got into podcasting, I knew that it
wasn't going to be perfect. I knew what equipment it takes to put on a show like the Rogan Experience
or flagrant. And I knew I didn't have that, didn't have the budget. So setting my goals for being as
good as a nationally syndicated radio show, you're setting yourself up for failure. So when I came
into it, I knew there was going to be mistakes and I accounted for as many as I could, but I
didn't let it stop me from dropping the first episode. I've read on our podcasting on Reddit,
somebody was saying, if you're going to get into podcasting, know that your first 10 episodes are
essentially going to be throwaways. And that's let alone if you're trying to syndicate to video as
well, like we are. Shout out to the YouTube viewership. But you have to know that you have
to drill, you have to practice, you have to work your way towards getting towards something better.
So if you wait for it to be perfect, if you're going to travel the ocean and you're going to
build the perfect ship that can account for all the wind and all the different sized waves. And
then you realize there's bigger waves. So you rebuild the ship for those bigger waves. Then
you realize that there's storms that, I don't know, rotate in a different direction. So you
need sails that can do this. You're never going to go on your voyage. You're just going to continue
to make everything perfect. So while you still want to say, okay, it doesn't mean you just slap
together a ship and start going and figure it out as you go. You know, you want to account for as
much as you can. But even though I went, built a studio, picked out my mics, talked to some audio
engineers, I still forgot to put batteries in my damn smoke detector for the first like two
episodes. I was funny. My first guest came over, shout out to Gil Thompson and his wife heard the
recording and she gave me some batteries. So he brought batteries and I wasn't even paying
attention. We didn't put him in for that episode. So I'm a living example of the stuff that I talk
about. That's why I don't try to be an expert on things that I'm not, but I absolutely have
suffered from perfectionism and it can lead to procrastination and avoidance. Perfectionism can
lead to procrastination and avoidance because when we feel like we have to be perfect, we may
become overwhelmed or paralyzed by fear. We may put off tasks because we're afraid of making
mistakes or because we want to make sure everything is just right. This can lead to
missed opportunities and feelings of regret. Oh, this is so true. So we have a, I just finished a
documentary, Moving Us Forward, African American Contributions to the City of Bayonne. And we put
it up. It's airing twice a day for the next 10 days for the remainder of Black History Month.
At the time of recording this, it will have already aired for about a week, and it's going to air a little bit into March. But there was a deadline, like a very realistic. People had come together and put interviews for something that is coming out during Black History Month.
if we would have went and got all the audio completely crisp, there were some things that
we just couldn't redo. And it still came out to be a beautiful presentation and it's still going to
air. But one thing that I've learned personally, like I know on the podcast, I say, well, I'm going
to record anyway. My neighbors are recording. You know, one of my listeners said to me, you know,
we can never hear your neighbor's music. So if you wouldn't have said anything, we wouldn't have
thought anything of it. It's like, huh. So here I am thinking that I have to wait, but if it's
not being picked up or it's being cleaned up in post, I guess we don't have to worry about it
anyway. So I am so glad that I jumped right into it, started before I was ready and I'm still not
ready. I'm sure this is still mistakes that are absolutely unexcusable for somebody on a major
podcast network. But you know what? We're growing with listenership. So that's the idea. There's a
link between perfectionism and anxiety and depression. Perfectionism can lead to anxiety
and depression. Because when you feel like you have to be perfect, you put a lot of pressure
on yourself. You may become anxious about making mistakes or not living up to others' expectations.
And you can almost feel depressed if you experience a setback or a failure.
So I suffer from this a lot.
I put huge pressure on myself and hold myself to a high standard, especially when it comes
to like my creative business or, you know, I'm not going to lie, just about anything
I do, I throw in myself into it 150%.
And I have to remind myself constantly of my achievements, you know, not from an egotistical
standpoint, but just being able to say, okay, I did something. I put it out. Okay. So I put out
two bad episodes to start out. I think this is episode number 18. So we've been going for going
on four months now and it's, it's okay. We put out bad episodes. We've put out great episodes.
I don't know where this one's going to fall on it, but I'd assume that we're getting better and
better each time that we go. So one thing I know is if I tried to be perfect, there's no way I'd
be able to drop every week. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. So strategies for letting go of
perfectionism. Set realistic expectations. Focus on progress rather than perfection. I recently came
across this quote, and I just want to stick on this for a second, but focus on progress rather
than perfection. If you see that you're going up, keep going and make sure you take notice of your
progress. You have to take steps. You have to mark milestones. You have to celebrate victories.
So to let go of perfectionism, it's important to set realistic expectations. Recognize that
perfection is not attainable and that making mistakes is a normal and necessary part of
growing and learning. Focus on progress rather than perfection. Celebrate your success no matter
how small they may be. Practice self-compassion and give yourself permission to make mistakes.
Oh gosh, setting, giving myself permission to make mistakes. It's funny because the one thing
that I do that I create with that I don't get paid for is this podcast. And so for some reason,
because I'm not getting paid for it, I gave myself the ability to make mistakes and I
challenge myself to put it out. You know, I still have a level of quality that I care about
personally, that when I put my name on something, I want to be there. But I wouldn't say this
podcast is that level of excellence. You know, I think it's good and I think we do our best,
but there's definitely room for growth and there's things that we can do. And we're constantly
checking out mistakes and trying to improve on the next episode. So try it even in things that
you do get paid for, you make, you know, give yourself room to make mistakes. I know it might
be hard if you're in a job that doesn't like taking risks or things like that, but if you
could reframe your failures as opportunities for growth and learning. So instead of seeing failures
as a reflection of your worth or something to be ashamed of, reframe them as opportunities for
growth and learning. Ask yourself, what can you learn from your failures and how you can use them
to improve? Reframe your mindset from one of, I can't do this, to I haven't figured it out yet,
but I'm learning. Even on the side, I haven't talked about it much, but I'm training jujitsu
and learning self-defense. And one of the greatest things is just knowing that there's levels of
belts that are unattainable in my lifetime. Even if I started at in my 20s, it would have been
unattainable in my lifetime just because the amount of time that it takes. So knowing that
there's never going to be a perfect journey for myself, I'm able to focus on the steps that I'm
taking and be able to realize that making mistakes and learning is part of it. And I'm excited to
look back a year from them or as I'm a blue belt and look back and say, wow, look how terrible I
was and look at all those mistakes I was making. I'm glad that I persevered through those and kept
going. So breaking free from perfectionism, self-care, self-compassion. Practicing self-compassion
means treating yourself with kindness, understanding, acceptance. Don't treat yourself
with self-criticism or judgment. I know if my mom's listening to this episode, she's going to
be like, all right, he finally got it. He's telling me this all the time. Don't judge myself. Don't
criticize myself. I mean, you have to find the balance because being critical of myself does
make me good at what I do, but it's not healthy to do it at a ridiculous level, you know? So
taking care of my physical, emotional, mental health needs, I'm better equipped to handle
setbacks and failures, you know? This was going to be the last episode. Actually, last episode
was going to be the last episode. I was just going to not drop and not do this anymore. I thought
takes 20 minutes to rerecord. I got to do the editing and stuff, but I was going to do that
anyway. We're still going to drop on time. It's all good. So I can just say that this personal
journey to be vulnerable, embrace imperfection, you know, it's something that I've been doing
throughout the podcast without even realizing it. So I figured why not bring it full circle
and, uh, you know, put it into an episode. So it's important to recognize the benefits of
embracing imperfection and vulnerability. When you let go of the need to be perfect,
you free yourself up to take risks, to try new things, to learn from your mistakes.
Embracing vulnerability means being authentic and genuine, which can help you build deeper
connections with others. By embracing imperfection and vulnerability, you can live a more fulfilling
and authentic life. And who doesn't want to live a more fulfilling and authentic life, man?
So that's about all I got for the show notes. I did want to take some time out and shout out a
few things that inspire me that I figure I could throw out there publicly. But I listened to the
latest episode of SC360, Socially Connected 360 Podcast with Luis D. Garcia. Man, that's a great
ride. He drops every couple of weeks and he's got great guests on there. The last one I listened to
was Legally Blind. I believe the man was legally blind, ran across the United States 50 miles a
day. I mean, you had me at 50 miles one day. Man, imagine running across with that sort of adversity.
So that really had me inspired. And then he had, I want to say it was Roy Shuler. I hope I'm not
messing the name up, but he had an actor on the most recent one. And listening to that podcast
just lets me realize, okay, there's definitely a level to strive for, definitely great content.
So there was that. I was working on a logo and I saw Empower 610 drop their new episode.
And I was like, man, I'm in a groove right now. I can't listen to it because I really want to
pay attention to it. And as I'm Instagramming back and forth with Bardalis, he tells me,
oh yeah, we shouted you out in the episode we're about to drop. I'm thinking, oh, that's that
episode. So luckily I got to rerecord because I was able to check that episode out. These guys
always inspire me. I told him I was on the fence about dropping a podcast and their pilot episode
was called Everybody Has a Podcast. And I saw that thumbnail and I was like, that's it. I'm
doing it. I reached out to Nice Jones personally and told him, yep, you tipped the scale. We're
doing this now. So shout out to the local podcast that I listen to and get inspiration from. Another
one is Miguel Reyes with his Staying Fit ODAT, One Day at a Time, O-D-A-A-T. Great podcast,
Great message. Other than that, there's a lot of nationally syndicated podcasts,
but they definitely get enough shout outs. So you guys know I mentioned them a lot,
who I listen to and where I get inspiration from. But you cannot forget about the local podcast
because these guys are working hard to put out great content that moves and inspires me. So
I just become a conduit of things that they say. And I think it's great.
announcements don't have anything uh it's season two so all that means is we change the background
same show same premise this is i will not lose podcast where we challenge the idea that
everything is learned from failure nothing is learned from success and we got to pick
ourselves up from mishaps and persevere to support the show visit the website the website
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But your contribution is appreciated.
Thank you for listening.