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Good morning, good evening, good night, good afternoon.
Sometimes it's easier for me to keep going than to quit.
Life is real, you know what I mean?
You have to go out there and put the work in.
And if you've never been in the pit at a NASCAR race, do it.
The time you put in while no one is around
will be what sets you apart when everyone is watching.
Because a lot of times you'd be like, oh yeah, that's a cool little idea.
But once they really understand where you're coming from,
the meaning behind it all in your heart what you really want to accomplish that's when people dive
in they really get on what's up with the listeners spotify apple podcasts and uh video youtube thanks
for giving us a reason to get dressed man it's 2026 you guys need to see hear feel us so step
to the table have a conversation keeping it known for gazey with ease here today he's been able to
do an amazing, amazing thing in terms of putting Lehigh Valley Media on the map with the No Fugazi
podcast, making his name, talking about dating, relationships, themes like being a confident male,
all sorts of things. So we're going to get into a little bit of that, but also find out who is
the man behind the mic. Everything that's public facing is branded based off his Instagram tag,
and things like this. So we'll be able to have time to ask some personal questions. This is
pre-recorded. So we don't usually end up cutting unless there's a quick bathroom break or something
like that. So you're just going to get a raw conversation, clean audio, crisp video. You ready
to do this, brother? Yeah, let's go. Awesome, man. Thank you for co-creating this content, man. I
know you're on a podcast run you love this stuff don't you i enjoy it man this is fun for me this
is like a hobby of mine um plus i enjoy talking you know um i don't know everything so i'm always
open to learn but i do know some things and that's what i would love to share you know i mean
it's awesome man some people have the gift of voice whether it's i know just before off mic
he says you used to make music used to rap yeah yeah so being an orator a vocalist I always hold
a huge respect for it I used to rap as well too that's how I got into learning all this
tech and stuff that that goes with it but this this is the the fruit of the labor the having
the conversation having something worth recording you know we talk anybody that has anything to do
with a podcast knows the massive amount of work it takes to take a conversation just record it
cleanly and then get it out there and put it everywhere so exactly I love that long form
exists I've been a huge fan of podcasting from the audio form and even like when I'm quality
checking my videos once I know the cameras are cut I walk around I do dishes and I get lost in
the audio you know what I mean yeah yeah I know how that feels because when I'm driving I listen
to podcasts and you know some people when they speak it's just relaxing you know what I mean
especially with the kind of information that they're portraying so I definitely understand
where you're coming from with that like I barely listen to music now don't get me wrong I still
listen to music but I catch myself listening to more uh podcasts just on different topics not
this dating and relationships you know what I'm saying so I agree with you absolutely it's a great
way to digest and take information and you never know where somebody's going to find this there's
going to be my listeners that check in normally and see that we're back from a hiatus there's
going to be people that search your name when looking for information and just this conversation
getting transcribed to google turns into a wealth of knowledge that's tied into your name
last for years yeah so you know no pressure but you got you got it you got to drop gold we got
the lights we got everything set up and yeah um you know what they say pressure you know makes
diamonds so let's make diamonds baby do you believe that it's important to feel uncomfortable
or put yourself outside of your comfort zone in life in general of course because that's the only
way we're going to learn being in your safe zone um being protected because you're comfortable and
you're safe in an environment because you have a support system that's great but it also can be
damaging because you don't want to grow old and wish man i wish i would have did this or took more
chances you know what i'm saying so you you always want to put yourself you know out of your comfort
zone because for one that's how you learn and that's how you grow and that's how you become
successful you know especially if you're gonna have kids one day you know and they're gonna come
through a fork in the road where they're like should I stay here where it's safe or should I
just go and take this risk higher risk higher reward so you know with experience comes knowledge
and there's a lot you know of information that you can gain that people don't know that they're
going to need to hear so you stepping out of your comfort zone not only does it benefit you
your family but it benefits future up-and-coming people who want to take risks but are scared
so i think that's absolutely and it's tangible too i'm at the point where i'm blessed i have
people that reach out to me or i'll get a follow it's almost like social media 10 years ago
somebody says, hey, I just like your insights. I wanted to reach out. So the podcast itself
becomes a mentality and becomes a conduit. Sure, I'm presenting all these guests and
these conversations in a nice, easy to listen to, relaxing format. But it's also
a mentality that rubs off on me. I become a conduit of every one of my guests, every one
of my stories we just had uh jonathan emory of life's checkmark podcast on here and we were
talking about that how it's like you interview if you're stuck in your own city and what's
happening there and who's moving or doing what it's like how many of those people have stepped
out and said you know i don't want to be a big fish in a small pond and what are they doing over
in these cities and what's the generation below me doing you know what's what's hot in in these
different hubs yeah because when you're around you know people that are doing well or better
than you it motivates you to step your game up but also you meet new people that can elevate you
and help you step your game up and you need other people to succeed yes you have to put in the work
but it takes another person for you to climb up that ladder with anything it's music you need that
one guy that knows that one guy that can get your music out there with acting besides practice and
going to school and auditioning you need that one director who sees something in you you know
be in the right room at the right time exactly you got to be ready i think it's important to
touch on something you said you got to be ready when they throw the ball to you like
you don't get to train in the big leagues you know what i mean not in not in anything so
So, you know, we had, it's funny you bring up acting.
I had a run where I had maybe four or five actors back to back.
And it was by chance, like some, it was three months to book a session with me at that time.
I was recording all the time.
And it just happened to be five actors back to back.
And Roy Shuler told the story of, he was a stand-in for Cuba Gooding Jr.
He was just, he was in a place.
They said, hey, you know, he looks like him.
We can get the tone, the color.
did it and they asked him to come back the next day he was in new york traveling he only had his
one suit on him so he's like yeah pretty much slept in and went back and that that was the
chance but at the same time he had the acting skills to then turn that to okay so what's your
name and right right you do now he's on tv law and order his credits are crazy see yeah so with
whatever it is you want to do in life, you know,
obviously practice makes perfect.
And throughout that practice and that opportunity comes,
you will be ready.
You don't want to go into anything blindly.
You know what I'm saying?
Because first impressions are everything, you know?
So you, before you take that leap of faith,
make sure you know what you're getting into.
Make sure you know what you need to do and what is expected of you.
and make sure you're able to deliver you know because all it takes is that one person to
you know see you and believe in you all it takes is that one opportunity or sometimes it takes
for you to move out of your hometown something simple as that because when you move um you're
open to new experiences new people you may find yourself you know doing things that you never
thought you would do you may find a liking into something that you never thought you would like
and it opens a whole new door for you not only success but even income you know so it's very
important for whoever to get out of their comfort zone it doesn't necessarily have to be moving but
no even just traveling for a little bit you doing traveling recently recently yes i was in florida
um back in like february and to be honest with you i'm thinking of moving down there you know
the podcast scene is huge down there and um honestly i'm thinking about moving down there
it's not it's not set in stone but it would be a good luck for me you know obviously i'm gonna go
down there you know giving it my all you know but um because i've been living in the lehigh valley
for a while and i've always wanted to move just didn't know where and for what i didn't want to
move for the sake of moving so yeah you know i was setting up my ability to move for probably
the last five ten years yeah like even um with my wife the decision was you know her going into a
career that's transferable right she's in teaching and special ed so she's a specialist she can go
to just about any city or any area there's a need for what she does she may just have to
get recertified in that state right right i built a network nationally so i'm not relying on lehigh
valley business or networking to you know i love it and i love helping stories of people here in
home but it's not uh you know i'm a premium brand and uh at least the allentown economic market is
not where you can sustain something you know just doing jobs just doing projects you need you know
you need to be on that level of people that are investing in something they believe in coming to
you with a strategy already. And those people definitely exist in Lehigh Valley. Don't get me
wrong. You know, I just didn't want to be stuck where if I do move, my proximity is stuck to how
I can make business, you know, anywhere with the internet and a laptop, I can remote in, do what I
do and most of my business is digital anyway yeah and that's how you want to do it especially if you
plan on moving you know I'm in a career where I can move to any state and find a job so you know
moving to Florida it wouldn't actually would it even be difficult I mean obviously besides money
you know it wouldn't be difficult when it comes to finding a job so yeah you have to be prepared
that's not something you want to do off the whim you know what I mean because you don't want to
move and then have to move back you know i'm saying because then that shows like you failed
or you didn't plan accordingly yeah or you don't have anywhere to move back to because you didn't
plan accordingly exactly it's like it uh it makes sense but no i think it's important to know like
i did some traveling recently i was out in south by southwest and yeah i've been out there it's
awesome I saw an awesome movie and I'm talking with the director afterwards and he's saying one
of the things he wished he did more was network in his 20s and I'm like man that's crazy you know
all the things that I thought that I'd you know I'm going on 40 and all the things that I thought
I want to have it's like I go to sleep every night and I'm blessed that I can do something
that i love or even just have a podcast or do this you know what i mean it's easy to compare
and look at other people's stuff especially when we're in like a visual and a vulnerable field like
talking on mic you know what i mean people have conversations with friends or in barber shops all
the time but like to get on mic and to say and i listened to some of my stuff from three four years
ago i'm like i don't even know if i believe this anymore but yeah you know i i believed it then i
was passionate about it and if i need to recant it or bring it up you have to understand people
like people change you know what i mean our views change as we get older we don't even
eat the same things you know so yeah uh so much can change with you know with just in a year
with viewpoints our beliefs what we like to eat and that's all through experience you know so i i'm
with you on that 100 do you pretty uh do you stay pretty healthy in terms of food and yeah i have to
so i have ibs no so um i have crohn's disease so i have to oh yeah on a strict diet or else
i'll be in the hospital you know so um that's not something i talk about often i used to you know
be vocal about it on social media but you know i take that down you know um but you know i want
the people to get to know me you you know so but um yeah i have to eat well that's why i'm
always in the gym i cook all my meals once in a while like i'm human once in a while i go out and
eat i'll buy some food but for the most part i cook all my meals you know what i mean i'm a i'm
actually a great cook to be honest with you um that's also something that i also like to do
you know um me too so yeah health is very important to me just because of what i've been through
you know and health should be important to everyone you know so it kind of like coincides
with well health kind of trended for a little bit it did and it's like i think it's a topic to bring
up not that it has anything to do but you remember when gluten-free was like you know and people that
ate gluten-free people with celiacs are like you know i already had to find menus that like
this was a thing you're doing it because you think it's healthier you know what i mean like it's
it's a little different so having to be conscious of health for a reason where you know some some
people are blessed with bodies that they can abuse for years and you know what i mean still
bounce back from that but if you have to do it it's like um you know another thing that was
trending was therapy and just mental health in general so remember you know i live with
mental health so these things that become trending that everybody's like oh my god you can do this
or sleep is a big deal it's like no i can't go too many days without sleep or things start to
like really fall apart so yeah that's kind of unhealthy anyway you know because when you sleep
your body heals up to 90 percent when you sleep so that's why when you're in a hospital
they always say get some rest because your body heals itself while it's sleeping so sleep is very
important for your body and you know for your brain as well you go days without sleeping you're
gonna kind of go crazy won't be able to think straight yeah it starts hallucinating you know
that that stuff is real so sleep is very important i think we want to estimate sleep i really do
yeah no i uh i'm not even behind on any deadlines right now but i've been getting
amazing sleep the past like week or so the whole month hasn't been great i went through
a phase where it was like it wasn't even me working myself to death that was last year
i worked way too hard last year and it was about a year or two where i was like i gotta cut this
back gotta cut this back and it wasn't just new projects coming in doing stuff it was like
investments i wanted to make things i wanted to set myself up for goals i had so yeah i'm working
my ass off and now i'm starting to balance it but there'll be times where i just i can't sleep
and i'll channel into something healthy like writing or yeah whatever you don't know i'm not
really playing video games but right it's it's not a choice and you don't really nobody lives
life like where you can just crash for two or three days you know not pushing 40 you know what
i mean exactly you gotta there's times where i'm like okay i'm gonna push this back i'll just reach
i'll send out a message for eight in the morning to a client saying sorry i didn't get it done last
night i'll touch base with you this afternoon and i'll just like yeah pass out i'll be up but i just
won't be responding to them or whatever yeah yeah um i'm glad that you brought up mental health
because it's um very important especially for men you know what i mean um a lot of men
you know struggle with their emotions and dealing with it and you know us men were taught to
have this bravado and be stoic you know and not allowed to show emotions and whatnot and
I would want to tell men like hey look it's good to have emotions and feel the emotions just
control it I think every guy needs a circle of guys that they trust that they can go to and speak
with about whatever it is they're going through because men we go through similar life experiences
you know men understand men you know um so when it comes to a man's issue i think that it's best
for him to go to another man especially if he's older because you know men we understand you know
we're not judgmental you know um i personally think that men should not go to women for their
problems because you know women look at us as the leaders um strong and you know they want to be
and feel protected so showing weakness to a woman to a certain extent can be detrimental
on your relationship and or to how she views you as a man because women are always looking for a guy
to be dominant strong stoic have self-control be decisive so you know i would you know love to tell
men you know finally get you a group of guys that you trust anytime you're going through something
you call them up meet up with them and you speak because guys will be able to help each other out
because we're all about finding a solution to a problem you know for us just speaking about
our emotions doesn't help for us that works for women and that's fine but men and women are very
different and no that's why i say men should you know keep that circle of friends and go to other
men um therapy i don't know about therapy like i'm not a fan of therapy to be honest with you
but if therapy works for you go you know i mean who the hell am i i'm not god therapy works for
you go to therapy would i go to therapy no you know i have um luckily thank god i have a good
circle of male friends that i can go to and speak about my problems with them and they'll give me
great advice and and uh a solution to solve it you know um i think therapy you know benefits women
more because women like to just talk about the emotions and they'll be happy they'll like feel
satisfied just from just talking about it you know so i think therapy just really it's just
way better for women than it is for men in my opinion that's a good opinion i mean that's a
strong opinion yeah i would say not whether it's good or bad um people go to therapy for different
reasons and i would sum it up by saying i'm not for people thinking that just talking about their
problems is gonna solve or fix anything like if you need to manage medication if that's something
that you're trying through your healing journey you need to do it go on don't go on reddit dog
like don't you know what i mean like people have people want to have a psychology degree i mean
they'll spend a night on reddit or something and they'll go to the therapist saying i'm diagnosed
with this or whatever and like i've been in and out of therapy but i've learned that they put
titles on stuff and my reasons for doing it is having a support system in case things go wrong
so i don't have to get back in line yeah you know what i mean yeah i'm not active in it but i would
get back but i don't use it as just talking about it i use it as accountability for me to say okay
i have this set of goals where i'm working because just like in business just like it relates just
like everywhere where you have goals you also have it for health or mental health so just so
it's a guidance for you it's a mirror i'm setting the guidance nobody's gonna guide me nobody
understands the struggles or what i have to do you know what i mean like the therapist is gonna
tell me don't work till 3 a.m the group of guys is gonna say you want to get breakfast in the
morning like you gotta do what you gotta do you know what i mean like yeah i have different groups
of guys for different stuff where you know the the most i don't want to use the word nurturing
but like the most care that i would get from the group of men is the most what society would say
the roughest group of men you know like these guys are all vets or uh so they're gonna give
you martial arts martial artists you know what i mean i'm giving them up they know who they are
and i'm public on it shout out to the barbershop chronicles but okay these guys are gonna keep me
right but they're not weak men by any means you know what i mean you know honestly that that makes
sense because you can't you can't talk about certain issues that you're going through with
the same person because i've realized that certain guys will give you different type of advice when
you come to them with a problem you know you're going to have for example you got a problem and
You go to Mark.
Mark's the tough guy.
He's going to tell you to suck it up.
Be strong.
Don't show no weakness.
Then you're going to have Michael.
Michael's the more understanding guy,
and he's going to understand where you're coming from
but give you a different perspective of how you should look at things
and think.
And then you're going to have, you know, Steve,
who's more, I don't want to say emotional,
but I guess he caters to how you feel.
and kind of, like, tells you what you want to hear.
Like, gives you hope, in a sense.
Like, lets you know that everything's going to be all right kind of thing.
You know, so.
I can't think of anybody in my circle I keep around that.
Yeah, that reminds me of, like, a yes man or something.
Right.
I wouldn't say he's necessarily a yes man, but.
Okay.
He's the type of friend that will give you hope in your situation.
If you feel like your back is against the wall, it's all over,
and there's nothing you can do, like, he's going to give you that belief.
like nah bro it's not over you know yeah this happened it sucked but okay i got a couple of
those yeah you know there's there's there's a light at the end of the tunnel you know i'm saying
like he's a more nicer guy i mean he's not so stoic and have all this mavado and tough guy
you know he's a more he's a more gentle one you know still give advice like it tells you what you
need to tell you but also let you know like yo bro it's gonna be all right you know i'm saying
so all in all it's your life and you got to do what works for you there is no one size fits all
when it comes to solving an issue or who you go to talk to that's why i say you know if therapy
works for you go don't listen to me well look if you want to understand the neuroscience in your
brain oh you might not want to talk to mark steve or will or anything like if you're going through
something serious where because yeah you want to see a professional i agree with that if you're not
a mental health professional yeah everything that people are giving is advice and at the end of the
day is still chatter right you need to know if removing your environment or getting into you
know what i mean you deal with certain things where people are dealing with fight or flight
where it's like yeah when there's something to that magnitude yeah go see a professional don't
go to mark stevens yeah no but if it's just your regular everyday struggle that every man goes
through you know go to go to those guys but if it's something that detrimental to your health
and your way of thinking and your well-being go to a professional yeah for sure no i think
therapy exists for a reason yeah um and then i also agree with if you want to choose a male or
a female and like being super selective with who your therapist is you know like it's not your
friend it's a a partner in whatever you have to do and it's not cheap even if you have health
insurance so like you're gonna get something out of it just like i would pay a gym membership or
anything like that like there was years where i had budgeted in what i need to do for therapy
or medication or whatever and have it apart was on some got off some and it's like understanding
what i'm going through i think it was super pivotal during that time whereas you could go
to a priest for that sort of therapy you know what i mean just somebody to hold the moral compass
priest is not going to tell you not to sin he's not going to tell you i mean he's going to tell
you not to sin right but he's not gonna stop being your priest because you said you know what i mean
like nobody ever if they practice catholicism nobody went to confession and then never talked
to the priest again after that they were like all right you gotta go so i mean yeah it's it's
accountability. Like it all comes down to accountability. If I'm in therapy for a year
and every month I go through and I'm talking about the exact same problems, that's not the
therapist's fault. Yeah. So do therapists hold their clients accountable? So if a female or
male goes to a therapist, whether the therapist is a male or female, my question is, are they
holding their clients or their patients accountable like if you know if mike or jessica go to their
therapist about a problem that they're having not not nothing health wise hopefully just your
everyday life problem that they just can't seem to handle do therapists hold their clients
accountable like hey look tony you know you were wrong in that situation and because you made this
and this is why this outcome is like that yes yes and no they'll hold a mirror up to you
so that you say damn i keep running into this same problem with these certain types of people
and they'll explain to you attachment styles or detachment and you can understand further like
why maybe you attract narcissists or why maybe you attract avoidance like a narcissist could
find out in therapy they're a narcissist whatever they do with that information it's whatever but
it's not going to be the therapist saying and it's not the accountability like a coach where
it's like you said you're going to lose 10 pounds you're not like are you serious about this don't
come back yeah it's gonna be more of okay you run into this they know about people's brain and how
people interact with each other so you can learn all like dog i did it for years i never sat there
and laid back and talked about like my dad time issues with my dad as a kid and and i don't think
that's coming i don't think that i'm just here in the middle journey it's more of a maintenance
thing than it is like okay this is something super necessary or this is right and i go through
ups and downs where i might be like let me just have somebody like have a mental health professional
that i could email yeah and just journal something so it's up to me to be accountable if my therapist
is going to hold me accountable or whatever that's not their job to tell you to give advice
like so their job is to what you said mirror if they're good to know to mirror to hold stuff to
present evidence to you to let you know okay you're running into this these like is it
something going on with you chemically or is it external factors you keep running into this
you keep attracting the same type of women that are this as doing this maybe there's a root cause
to it whatever but where are you responsible for it oh you every woman says the same thing you yell
you're controlling you do this you know what i mean yeah therapist is not going to come in
they may know you're this whatever archetype slash detachment style anxious but they got to educate
you on that and you got to accept it and be like okay this is either how I'm wired or this is where
we could do like I couldn't diagnose myself with ADHD someone else with ADHD could probably look
at me and be like yo you got ADHD but they got to do testing and all that stuff and I can't just go
on reddit or go on uh what is it webmd say i have adhd and go to cvs and get some amphetamines you
know what i mean like it's it doesn't work like that so i would tell anybody like if you're gonna
be a dietician and you're gonna understand like health yeah you can educate yourself a ton i did
I learned a ton about health. Do I know down to the molecular level, like the signs? Like, no, not at all. Am I certified in anything? No, I know my body through testing and through trial and error. And I know what works for me, what makes me feel a different way.
that's through years of journaling and putting through stuff that was guided through therapy
but i've gone through like first meeting i'm with you i'm like yeah i don't think this is gonna
connect or work i don't think we're gonna get to where we need to get i watch how you talk to other
people how people look when they leave your office before i go in like i don't know it's just like
with a personal trainer you know what i mean like yeah yeah you're gonna train with somebody who's
wildly opposite than you on social publicly and stuff like i don't know i get it because i
generally didn't know you know so um because i had this i have this view on therapy and
therapist and i don't know i just it was just i don't know if it's has to do with the black
community and how we look at therapy could be you know it's a thing that's a thing for sure
you know i'm saying so like therapy has never been a good thing growing up you know not with
my mom either you know i don't want i mean my parents never said anything to me about therapy
it was never brought up but like just you know being in the black community we don't we're not
too fond of therapy i'm not saying there's no black we gotta go to therapy not this there
they definitely are but it's just my mom pushed positive thinking um she had never worked with
a therapist or anything like that but she had later on in life been okay with me and my sister
going down that path but yeah you gotta realize i went through 10 years of hating doctors and
off medicine completely just completely holistically managing my own stuff learning
meditate like meditating on buses i hated doctors that's funny listen so i like being able to speak
on both sides of things like if i'm gonna have an opinion on something it can't be because i only
tried one way you know what i mean yeah you know man chocolate is my favorite flavor oh yeah what's
your second favorite well you know i only ever tried chocolate like you know it's not an interesting
conversation at all you close-minded you know but uh you said you do bible study i'm not sure
if that was on mic or off mic right that was off mic we don't mind talking about talking about that
so yeah um i do bible study um growing up in brooklyn i went to catholic school i had my
communion and in catholic school you know they would take us to church you know um in class in
the morning we'd say the hail mary our father like it was just so i grew up you know believing
in god because i went to you know i went to church and stuff like that and um my grandmother was you
know very religious she would always have the rosary be and pray every single day and i would
always go to church for her on sunday you know up until she passed and then um you know i had some
like you know uh some like scary nightmares and stuff like that i'm just gonna call it nightmares
but i had some scary um experiences that you know made me want to get closer to god i'm like okay
if this is real then god is definitely real like nobody can convince me he's not so i did a bible
study for a few years straight just learning because there was so much that i didn't know
that i wanted to know and i had a i have a good friend of mine who knows the bible and he would
just randomly tell me stories from the bible and i was just finding so fascinating i'm like okay
now i gotta find i need to know more you know and um yeah the bible study and just to draw closer
to god and because i saw that he was real and i i've had like good experiences that was like oh
crap like this guy's really real you know i'm saying and i'm pretty sure everybody who believes
And God has some kind of dope experience where they can't even explain.
That's like, oh, that's that's not luck.
That's that's that's from a higher power.
Sure.
You know, so anything is possible through God.
Well, and but that's a that's a form of therapy here that that shares more in that mirror that I'm talking about.
Like you have a compilation of books that says this is the way that it's supposed to go.
So you're a person in a broken kingdom saying there's all this sin around me, but it doesn't make it OK.
I'm going to live like this, man.
I'm going to do like this.
It's the same thing with our behaviors.
Like if you grew up in a family where everybody's just throwing shit at the wall, you know what I mean?
You're going to think that's how I express is how you do it.
So when you're saying, okay, this actually leads to dysfunction, this leads to crime, this does all this sort of stuff.
And you can see, I mean, as humans, we're social beings.
Like, it's okay to have an identity and a self.
I don't think people are okay enough with being the minority on things.
Yeah.
Everybody wants to be cool, bro.
Everybody wants to fit in.
um and a lot of people are scared to go against the grain a lot of people are scared to share
their true opinions about said subject because they don't want to be hated or ostracized and
um that used to be me um i would be very careful about what i would say
publicly and I'll be very careful about my opinions on what I thought about whatever
publicly because I didn't want people to look at me a certain way or think negatively about me
because reputation is somewhat important it's not everything but I think everyone should care
what other people think about them to an extent because your reputation could either make you
or break you it could either elevate you to succeed or it could be the reason why you don't
succeed it could be the reason why they don't want to do that deal with you they don't want to do
business with you they don't want to lend you that money for your project it could be the reason why
they don't want to have you on their show or on their on their movies or on their song you know
so let me ask you when you say not care what people think about you what do you mean by that
or you said you should care a little bit just in terms of how it affects your
reputation or right. So, okay.
If you have a belief and you feel strongly about that belief,
you should voice it and not care,
especially if it's morally correct.
You should stand on that because there are more people than you realize that
have that same view, but just were scared to say it.
and because you were brave enough to actually say that out loud that's gonna do more good than bad
for you you know now you also want to watch how you portray yourself that's where i that's where
i mean where you that's where you should care what people think because how you portray yourself to
people will will determine your success networking you know um if you're in the entertainment business
whether it's acting music podcasting streaming networking is a big thing outside of you know
posting your content or your talent because what did i say earlier we need other people to succeed
and if you if i need your help tony to blow up in this podcast and you have the number one podcast
The last thing I want to do
Is come off as an asshole
To you
And to the people around you
That you associate yourself with
You know what I'm saying
That's when you should care
How
What people think about you
Yeah
I didn't want to skip over
Cause
I think reputation is everything
Yeah
But at the same time
I really
Don't
Give a fuck
About what people think
It is
But like
i use that as an example i curse i'm very articulate i'm very punctual and professional
and probably the way that i think about language and communication comes off too
polished that it doesn't feel authentic so there's another filter from how i actually think to how i
actually speak i'm very conscious of how i'm presented and that's with or without a mic on
Right. But when somebody had said about in the Bible that cursing is essentially sinful and that you can be as close to God, I didn't know that that was something new presented to me.
so do i care if people like do i care if people curse do i suddenly all of a sudden think okay
this person is sinful because they curse now if it's to the point where you can't control it at
all there's no thought before you're not cursing intentionally right then it's like okay that's a
lack of verbal discipline but my mirror is telling me now okay let me look further into this verse
let me see more about if I should at least not think you're gonna be like I don't use the m word
really right so I'm conscious about language in general I just think that it's more about intent
behind words right and if you could shed light on that to me like what it says in the bible if I
should not curse or I um I don't know exactly what what it says about cursing in the bible so I don't
want to make anything up that's something i actually want to look up honestly um we should
i think we should do that um my phone's over there you can look it up give me one second let
me see because now now i'm curious because if if it's a person telling you because people say oh
cursing is a sign of low intelligence no it's the other way around you know i'm saying so it's the
other way around uh slang they could say it might be a sign of low intelligence but i don't know
And then we could fact check that, too.
I've heard it's a high intelligence thing, but.
Okay.
Yeah, it says it strictly forbids any speech that is destructive, obscene, or uses God's name in vain.
Let's see what, let's see.
That doesn't qualify all of cursing, though.
Right, right.
Like saying, I don't give a fuck what people think.
let's see jesus taught that we say comes directly from the condition of our hearts
affinity gossip and curses are seen as symptoms of internal anger or malice yeah see i don't
really gossip like that see i don't know i am then i am intentional so i am yeah yeah so
it it's based off what i'm what i'm reading it's how we're using those words yeah you know because
sometimes you have to you know use be direct and use destructive language to get your point across
to stop people from messing with you you know hey uh war has always been a thing murder has
always been a thing even back when jesus was born so um and you know we are allowed to defend
ourselves like you know i think i don't know the exact quote in the bible but you know that's okay
like you're supposed to defend yourself and sometimes like you got to tell somebody because
people take kindness for weakness you know so sometimes you got to be like yo look i'll fuck
you up like don't play with me sometimes you have to say that because people think like you tony like
you you're very well spoken you're you're a genuine guy you're a nice guy and people could easily
think that you're you're punk and but and if they do think that that's when you got to let them like
yo look i'll fuck you up in here like it'll get real bloody in here you know i'm saying like don't
don't let this you know it's a different demeanor with me that's funny i understand what you mean
it's funny i could channel people know my my history with training and stuff and i've never
claimed to be a badass or any of that neither i tell more stories about walking away it's funny
since i've been training jujitsu i walked away from three fights and um yeah the immediate response
is you about four inches taller 20 pounds we're not even in the same weight class like you know
what i mean like it's i don't know i don't ever agree with verbally like i don't like i don't
believe in fighting words somebody asked me somebody came to me with fighting words and
and um you know just asked me and i just said i apologize if my you know what i mean if if i'm
if i offended you we both had long days and stuff like this at the same time i'm gripping the shit
out of his hand and look at him dead in his eye but it's like dude we don't you know what i mean
like that's the right thing to do i used to box so um and self-defense teaches you discipline
you know what i mean and um once you get good at defending yourself you don't want to fight anybody
because you know what you can do yeah did you ever have someone just come in the gym on like
their first day like just want to jump right into sparring i don't know if that that happened in
jujitsu i don't know if that happens in boxing so much because people know more every guy always
wants to spar they always want to skip that's what i mean they always want to just spar and
so you've like thrown down with somebody untrained you you felt the skill difference of like the well
the gym i went to luckily um everybody was respectful nobody had a huge ego there was a
of respect in that particular gym so i did not spar i did spar a guy that was that wasn't as
good as i was but it wasn't like it was like a beat down you know but but i've also sparred with
a guy that beat me up you know what i'm saying so now we've had uh we've had people just come in and
say like you know want to see what like no training nothing no grappling experience whatever
them to see what they can do yeah or just understand what it is like i've had somebody
literally say how do i win at this or what do i do and it's like just make me stop you know what
i mean like it's not really rules i mean there is rules in jiu-jitsu we're not gouging each other's
eyes out and stuff so i don't even go but i just know that when someone trains for like a year
two years three years it's a lot harder to will them around versus when you exactly like you if
you're training with people you're never even in a position where you experience the skill gap of
somebody completely untrained right versus someone else and i'm not even talking like
if you had a hard life and you've been in 25 fights by the time you're 23 you know what i
mean like you're not you're not untrained exactly i mean like you've figured out something right
that works for you you know what i mean like you might not be oh and 100 but you got you got enough
experience to hold your own and even then you don't go sitting there thinking that everybody
is untrained like we're in district 11 like you got lehigh right next door you got like you know
i mean like high school kids that got 13 years grappling experience just walking around drinking
beer in south side bethlehem yeah because pennsylvania um we're we're uh pretty well
known for our wrestling you know like pennsylvania is like has one of the best wrestlers and um
one thing i can honestly say that self-defense teaches you whether it's boxing jiu-jitsu mma
whatever it is that you can never underestimate anybody now you see some of these wrestlers
well see some yeah that's why and i think that's what um boxing taught me not only to
teach me discipline but when i sparred right i got beat up by a kid that was scrawnier than me
and shorter than me yeah you know what i'm saying so i uh i didn't go to the gym for like a few
days like i skipped the gym because i didn't want to fight him again you know but um i had spoke to
this guy that i used to work with and he was just giving me some pointers about sparring because like
i had my lip was busted my jaw was like hurt you know i'm saying like like you can tell i got into
a fight so i was scared but um i like the movie rocky so you know if you know the movie rock you
know like rocky when he lost uh mr t he didn't want to go he didn't want to have that rematch
because he was afraid you know but he overcame that so I always thought about that okay I gotta
go back and see what I did wrong and like you know fix what I did and I end up sparring him again
and um I did well I didn't beat him up but he also didn't beat me up either um but yeah it taught me
like that's why I never think I'm the biggest baddest I don't think I'm the strongest I don't
think I'm the toughest I don't think I can beat everybody up because one thing I learned is always
somebody better bigger stronger taller smarter it was that way when we were 25 it's not you know
what i mean i've trained i don't speak about my training much but i've trained with 23 24 year
olds it's a different level of cardio you know what i mean like even even with the vaping here
and there like it's a different father time is undefeated like you can't do any like the knowledge
is great yeah but and you know my background before jujitsu was in wrestling and i'm learning
with jujitsu we were workhorses like we were exerting energy for no reason like it's a sport
where you're trying to put someone on your back it's very helpful in fighting but it's not
fighting it's not a realistic simulation of fighting you know um it's a very high chance
that you'll have to do something with that if you're if you're not in the ring if you're fighting
outside of the ring but you know i just learned move super fast use ridiculous energy my coach
had to tell me like dude you could trip someone you don't have to lift them like you can always
trip someone you don't have to pick them up in the air and use all that yeah but uh i want to
learn jiu-jitsu i'm not gonna lie that's something i always wanted to learn just never made the time
for it but yeah shout out exalt jujitsu and bethlehem i'm gonna get started back up there
soon yeah i think that it's very important for a man to learn some kind of self-defense whether
it's boxing karate jujitsu mma you name it and the reason why i say that because men are assholes
and men like to try other men and you got bullies out there even as adults you know and
if you have a family a wife and kids your wife or your girlfriend is always going to look for
you to protect her because you're stronger and you want to be able to defend her if that time
were to come you know but also self-defense gives men confidence it gives us that aura about us that
women love dude it's goals you know it's it's a personal development plan yeah you know what i
mean yeah it teaches us discipline it teaches us patience and again confidence and the the attitude
and swag that we gain from it is what will attract women you know because the example that we always
use on the podcast with the dating is we always talk about gender roles and we always say you
know if a burglar came into the house he has to go do you expect your boyfriend or husband to
get up and fight the guy they say yeah you know and if you can't defend your household
you can't defend your kids and your wife you're gonna regret it you're gonna regret it you're
to feel like a loser you're going to feel very insecure and your woman your wife or your girlfriend
she's not going to look at you the same it's just a matter of time till she's gone and i say that
because most all men we want a girlfriend a wife somebody to grow old with and um a lot of guys
struggle with women and i think that learning some kind of self-defense and or working out
would help that confidence you know how they always say oh after a breakup um go to the gym
you know you should work out why they say that because when you work out and you start to
make progress but one is builds mental toughness because how many times you go into the gym
and you tell yourself anything that you can't do it and you actually end up doing that workout like
oh crap i those are usually the best ones so it builds it builds mental strength and it also
builds confidence you know i mean because if i can't be beat in the gym then i can't be beat
out there in the world because i already went through hell and back in here because everybody
knows working out ain't easy boxing ain't easy jujitsu ain't easy you're being humbled every
damn day you know what i'm saying but it also teaches you to fight back because life is gonna
knock you down bro it's gonna knock you down any chance you get if not fight back just get up get
up and fight back it's i was very intentional with the name i will not lose podcast you know
what i mean and yeah the crown and the idea of pushing that you know pushing that you give up
mentally way before you give up you know what i mean like before you really can't go on you know
mean like before you really can't go on so it was a good reminder for me and for myself and i think
like it's important like you said to say um you said about going to the gym like or going to the
gym i don't want people to think that like training martial arts instantly makes it that
you can beat everybody up you know what i mean like you can look at the percentages and be like
okay, 97% of people don't know the things that I know, even just like basic stuff, you know what I
mean? And you don't even need to go all the way up in the belts in anything to be dangerous versus
somebody untrained. It's just that having goals, having something, having that camaraderie,
the partnership of other people that are bettering themselves with you, you know what I mean? It's
like, you want to be around a circle of friends. You want to be around a circle of people that
better themselves community yeah everybody's doing something or has like a story behind why
they're training and it's it's cool there's so many benefits to working out or learning
self-defense it's a stress relief it's a stress reliever it builds confidence it builds mental
toughness and um you're also just fun too it's fun it's fun yeah it's fun it's healthy it keeps
you in shape but you also get to defend yourself you know you and i would feel like crap if we
couldn't defend our girlfriend or our kids no i was gonna go i woke up today i was gonna go for a
run because i'm like oh man it's just been like a month since i really had a good workout the way
that i wanted to so it's it's just a feeling i know it's gonna and it'll us man it'll make us
feel good about ourselves and when you're happy you attract happy people you attract uh positive
things you know so you want to be happy obviously it's life you know it's going to be happy but
self-learning self-defense or working out it it makes you feel good about yourself because as
human beings we're imperfect so we tend to doubt ourselves more than normal and we're not as
confident as we like to think you know so learning self-defense or working out it builds that
confidence like because you know every time i underestimated myself in the gym like damn i don't
think i can lift that weight 10 times and then i go and i lift that weight 10 times and that just
proves to show you that we you know we are stronger than we actually think well i think you
if you have goals and you eat well and you see the benefits long term because none of this stuff
happens super quickly but if you're really in tune with your body you know you might save the
burger for a weekend if you yeah you eat burgers like i love burgers by the way you know what i
mean and you don't have to cut out all carbs and not be healthy but it's just a matter of know
you're gonna feel slower know that the digestion is gonna be heavier when you decide so if you're
gonna go work out you know how many times i've heard people like high performing people i know
say well i'm gonna eat something light because i'm gonna be working out later you know what i
mean like they have complete mastery over what they're putting in their body the timing that's
discipline that's hard to do but it's possible let's do it yeah i got uh i don't think people
understand when you have a solid diet and even just like light i think i was running 20
20 to 40 minutes a day like minimum 20 minutes like uh i think two miles or so like just under
two miles and i'm looking to get back into it not to be physically scarier or any of that just
because i know the endorphins benefits i know how relaxed you feel i know it's healthy it's good for
your heart lower heart rate yeah like it's dope stuff so what do you got working on what's coming
new we went a little over an hour we didn't start landing the plane but stuff was coming so um i just
put on making more appearances on you know podcasts just to you know get better at speaking and you
know figuring out my niche you know like my niece is dating and relationships like i could talk about
that all damn day um i i would like to start my own podcast so i'm trying to figure out where
and how I can go about doing that and like what what I talk about you know because I want to I
want to be a little different I want to stand out but I want it to be organic you know but um in
terms of that I'm still with the No Fugazi podcast you know we're going live next week Saturday
you know we're going to Dallas Texas the end of July we've we've been able to meet some dope
people and network and we're going to do a podcast out there in Dallas Texas so I'm going to be doing
that as well um I was able to network with a guy that you know has connections with other podcasts
that I can like get on so I'll be doing that as well and um see what and then just take it from
there just really like ride this wave of being on podcasts you know I'm saying so that's pretty
much what I got going on I definitely I'm I'm looking into getting some equipment but I don't
want to just put out random stuff you know like you I want to be intentional with what I'm putting
out yeah and i wanted to be you want to talk to me in terms of equipment right and i want to be
informative i don't want to just talk about random stuff you know whatever i put out whatever i
disclose i want it to be beneficial to the audience you know i'm saying so that's why i'm
taking my time and i'm pretty sure it'll come to me for sure well you can talk to people that did
to know things you could run into or think about stuff but you don't have to overthink it you
already have the equipment you got a phone you have a car you can put out content right now
but you know what i mean um go live and all that you got a device right there that has
great audio and video right um there's a love to all this or why i have this mic the specific
tonality I'm trying to catch that people who have been listening to me for years, that's something
familiar for them. You can't catch that through a phone. So you start to level up little areas
from there, but the organization, the planning, that's where I fell off. And that comes with
scheduling guests as well. Before you know it, it's too late to get somebody in and spend six
hours editing a great clip you know what i mean i got my time down from six hours but still yeah
it takes time so if you're gonna do that every two weeks you gotta have weeks worth of guests
and backup episodes in case people go and i took it for granted the past like six months or so
i took it way more for granted versus you know when i had that spark and being on other people's
podcasts shout out to Nick Asenio with the platform that's my boy shout out to uh Donna
Jean with in the hall closet podcast um and then going back previous to six months on so Laura's
podcast speaking about mental health and doing things that I feel make an impact outside you
know sharing uh I'm an open book people clients find things about me people know that I'm sober
People know that I'm spiritual, like it's all out there. So I've been fortunate enough to
know how to network really, really well that my social persona can just be fun and my thoughts
and an extension and just something fun for me. It doesn't have to be listed all out and stuff
like that. But yeah, in terms of equipment, all this stuff, everything that we're recording on
here the most the most expensive is this mic or probably that roadcaster everything else is under
like 50 bucks everything amazon definitely has some stuff that i was glancing through i didn't
really get to do a deep dive but well you gotta know if it's all right and this will help somebody
that's why i'm letting it go even though we're landing the plane if you get a cheap recorder
that doesn't match video and you want to do video later it's gonna fall off track like
See, that's what I did.
After an hour, you know.
I did not know that, so good for telling me.
For sure.
You'll see 4,400 or 4,800, and it has to be 4,800 to match video.
Okay.
Well, yeah, we'll talk, man.
Is there anything you wanted to drop your socials, let people know?
Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, Ease to the World.
That's E-A-S-E, to the world.
That's spelled correctly.
I'm on Facebook.
It's Brian Ease Selamy.
Brian with a Y.
Selamy is S-E-L-A-M-Y.
And once you find that, you'll be able to find my TikTok and threads, Twitter, all that.
On Twitter, my handle is MyNameIsEase, spelled correctly.
And, yeah, be on the lookout because I'll be definitely putting out way more content.
I've definitely put on being more consistent compared to what I've been now.
That's what's up.
Myself as well.
Well, I'll keep it easy. You can find new episodes at IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can hire me for professional creative services at TOTheDesigner.com. And my handle everywhere is at TOTheDesigner, spelled like to the designer. So you just put that in your Google search bar and find me on all platforms.
thank you for listening to another episode of i will not lose podcast appreciate you and if
you're not subscribed please hit that subscribe button i'm going to be putting more of a focus
into hitting that goal of monetization on youtube and stop giving all the good content to facebook
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soon at the time of recording this we are currently gaining awareness for blood donation
through miller keystone andre williams former running back of the new york giants he's going
to be donating on june 12th i'll let you know some other dates we won't get this episode out
by the time that comes out but we will be continuing to donate blood you can look up
the heart and hustle campaign we're also raising funds to stop human trafficking
through all funds for the celebrity casino night the strength and love celebrity casino night
you can get information on that at strength the letter n love.org you can buy tickets and all
proceeds go to Benefit Deliver Fund, which is to help stop human trafficking in the Lehigh Valley.
You hear me talking a lot more about those couple events. Stay tuned. See you next week.
All right. Thank you for listening to another episode of I Will Not Lose Podcast. To support
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