Men, Mental Health, Faith & Self-Defense with Ease | IWNL 0078

Transcript

[00:00:03.310] Good morning, good evening, good night, good afternoon.
[00:00:10.190] Sometimes it's easier for me to keep going than to quit.
[00:00:15.620] Life is real, you know what I mean?
[00:00:17.020] You have to go out there and put the work in.
[00:00:20.330] And if you've never been in the pit at a NASCAR race, do it.
[00:00:26.240] The time you put in while no one is around
[00:00:29.140] will be what sets you apart when everyone is watching.
[00:00:33.380] Because a lot of times you'd be like, oh yeah, that's a cool little idea.
[00:00:36.900] But once they really understand where you're coming from,
[00:00:38.900] the meaning behind it all in your heart what you really want to accomplish that's when people dive
[00:00:42.980] in they really get on what's up with the listeners spotify apple podcasts and uh video youtube thanks
[00:00:53.370] for giving us a reason to get dressed man it's 2026 you guys need to see hear feel us so step
[00:00:59.750] to the table have a conversation keeping it known for gazey with ease here today he's been able to
[00:01:06.150] do an amazing, amazing thing in terms of putting Lehigh Valley Media on the map with the No Fugazi
[00:01:14.490] podcast, making his name, talking about dating, relationships, themes like being a confident male,
[00:01:23.350] all sorts of things. So we're going to get into a little bit of that, but also find out who is
[00:01:27.570] the man behind the mic. Everything that's public facing is branded based off his Instagram tag,
[00:01:36.150] and things like this. So we'll be able to have time to ask some personal questions. This is
[00:01:41.030] pre-recorded. So we don't usually end up cutting unless there's a quick bathroom break or something
[00:01:48.690] like that. So you're just going to get a raw conversation, clean audio, crisp video. You ready
[00:01:55.850] to do this, brother? Yeah, let's go. Awesome, man. Thank you for co-creating this content, man. I
[00:02:01.350] know you're on a podcast run you love this stuff don't you i enjoy it man this is fun for me this
[00:02:07.170] is like a hobby of mine um plus i enjoy talking you know um i don't know everything so i'm always
[00:02:14.150] open to learn but i do know some things and that's what i would love to share you know i mean
[00:02:19.230] it's awesome man some people have the gift of voice whether it's i know just before off mic
[00:02:25.930] he says you used to make music used to rap yeah yeah so being an orator a vocalist I always hold
[00:02:32.290] a huge respect for it I used to rap as well too that's how I got into learning all this
[00:02:36.290] tech and stuff that that goes with it but this this is the the fruit of the labor the having
[00:02:43.190] the conversation having something worth recording you know we talk anybody that has anything to do
[00:02:51.140] with a podcast knows the massive amount of work it takes to take a conversation just record it
[00:02:57.420] cleanly and then get it out there and put it everywhere so exactly I love that long form
[00:03:03.130] exists I've been a huge fan of podcasting from the audio form and even like when I'm quality
[00:03:09.170] checking my videos once I know the cameras are cut I walk around I do dishes and I get lost in
[00:03:16.270] the audio you know what I mean yeah yeah I know how that feels because when I'm driving I listen
[00:03:22.790] to podcasts and you know some people when they speak it's just relaxing you know what I mean
[00:03:30.180] especially with the kind of information that they're portraying so I definitely understand
[00:03:36.140] where you're coming from with that like I barely listen to music now don't get me wrong I still
[00:03:39.680] listen to music but I catch myself listening to more uh podcasts just on different topics not
[00:03:45.800] this dating and relationships you know what I'm saying so I agree with you absolutely it's a great
[00:03:51.000] way to digest and take information and you never know where somebody's going to find this there's
[00:03:57.060] going to be my listeners that check in normally and see that we're back from a hiatus there's
[00:04:01.820] going to be people that search your name when looking for information and just this conversation
[00:04:07.500] getting transcribed to google turns into a wealth of knowledge that's tied into your name
[00:04:13.460] last for years yeah so you know no pressure but you got you got it you got to drop gold we got
[00:04:20.080] the lights we got everything set up and yeah um you know what they say pressure you know makes
[00:04:25.560] diamonds so let's make diamonds baby do you believe that it's important to feel uncomfortable
[00:04:32.440] or put yourself outside of your comfort zone in life in general of course because that's the only
[00:04:39.280] way we're going to learn being in your safe zone um being protected because you're comfortable and
[00:04:48.390] you're safe in an environment because you have a support system that's great but it also can be
[00:04:54.960] damaging because you don't want to grow old and wish man i wish i would have did this or took more
[00:05:00.880] chances you know what i'm saying so you you always want to put yourself you know out of your comfort
[00:05:10.560] zone because for one that's how you learn and that's how you grow and that's how you become
[00:05:15.430] successful you know especially if you're gonna have kids one day you know and they're gonna come
[00:05:21.550] through a fork in the road where they're like should I stay here where it's safe or should I
[00:05:26.230] just go and take this risk higher risk higher reward so you know with experience comes knowledge
[00:05:33.150] and there's a lot you know of information that you can gain that people don't know that they're
[00:05:38.990] going to need to hear so you stepping out of your comfort zone not only does it benefit you
[00:05:43.710] your family but it benefits future up-and-coming people who want to take risks but are scared
[00:05:49.970] so i think that's absolutely and it's tangible too i'm at the point where i'm blessed i have
[00:05:56.600] people that reach out to me or i'll get a follow it's almost like social media 10 years ago
[00:06:02.660] somebody says, hey, I just like your insights. I wanted to reach out. So the podcast itself
[00:06:09.540] becomes a mentality and becomes a conduit. Sure, I'm presenting all these guests and
[00:06:14.860] these conversations in a nice, easy to listen to, relaxing format. But it's also
[00:06:21.580] a mentality that rubs off on me. I become a conduit of every one of my guests, every one
[00:06:27.460] of my stories we just had uh jonathan emory of life's checkmark podcast on here and we were
[00:06:33.700] talking about that how it's like you interview if you're stuck in your own city and what's
[00:06:39.900] happening there and who's moving or doing what it's like how many of those people have stepped
[00:06:45.600] out and said you know i don't want to be a big fish in a small pond and what are they doing over
[00:06:50.160] in these cities and what's the generation below me doing you know what's what's hot in in these
[00:06:56.560] different hubs yeah because when you're around you know people that are doing well or better
[00:07:02.940] than you it motivates you to step your game up but also you meet new people that can elevate you
[00:07:13.020] and help you step your game up and you need other people to succeed yes you have to put in the work
[00:07:19.760] but it takes another person for you to climb up that ladder with anything it's music you need that
[00:07:27.990] one guy that knows that one guy that can get your music out there with acting besides practice and
[00:07:34.840] going to school and auditioning you need that one director who sees something in you you know
[00:07:41.500] be in the right room at the right time exactly you got to be ready i think it's important to
[00:07:46.900] touch on something you said you got to be ready when they throw the ball to you like
[00:07:50.660] you don't get to train in the big leagues you know what i mean not in not in anything so
[00:07:55.980] So, you know, we had, it's funny you bring up acting.
[00:07:59.660] I had a run where I had maybe four or five actors back to back.
[00:08:03.520] And it was by chance, like some, it was three months to book a session with me at that time.
[00:08:09.700] I was recording all the time.
[00:08:11.360] And it just happened to be five actors back to back.
[00:08:14.700] And Roy Shuler told the story of, he was a stand-in for Cuba Gooding Jr.
[00:08:19.360] He was just, he was in a place.
[00:08:21.500] They said, hey, you know, he looks like him.
[00:08:23.400] We can get the tone, the color.
[00:08:25.060] did it and they asked him to come back the next day he was in new york traveling he only had his
[00:08:31.180] one suit on him so he's like yeah pretty much slept in and went back and that that was the
[00:08:38.320] chance but at the same time he had the acting skills to then turn that to okay so what's your
[00:08:44.560] name and right right you do now he's on tv law and order his credits are crazy see yeah so with
[00:08:51.640] whatever it is you want to do in life, you know,
[00:08:54.520] obviously practice makes perfect.
[00:08:56.720] And throughout that practice and that opportunity comes,
[00:09:01.450] you will be ready.
[00:09:02.770] You don't want to go into anything blindly.
[00:09:05.650] You know what I'm saying?
[00:09:06.430] Because first impressions are everything, you know?
[00:09:10.390] So you, before you take that leap of faith,
[00:09:14.190] make sure you know what you're getting into.
[00:09:15.930] Make sure you know what you need to do and what is expected of you.
[00:09:21.400] and make sure you're able to deliver you know because all it takes is that one person to
[00:09:27.040] you know see you and believe in you all it takes is that one opportunity or sometimes it takes
[00:09:31.560] for you to move out of your hometown something simple as that because when you move um you're
[00:09:40.050] open to new experiences new people you may find yourself you know doing things that you never
[00:09:47.490] thought you would do you may find a liking into something that you never thought you would like
[00:09:50.830] and it opens a whole new door for you not only success but even income you know so it's very
[00:09:58.150] important for whoever to get out of their comfort zone it doesn't necessarily have to be moving but
[00:10:03.110] no even just traveling for a little bit you doing traveling recently recently yes i was in florida
[00:10:10.050] um back in like february and to be honest with you i'm thinking of moving down there you know
[00:10:16.950] the podcast scene is huge down there and um honestly i'm thinking about moving down there
[00:10:22.070] it's not it's not set in stone but it would be a good luck for me you know obviously i'm gonna go
[00:10:29.850] down there you know giving it my all you know but um because i've been living in the lehigh valley
[00:10:35.970] for a while and i've always wanted to move just didn't know where and for what i didn't want to
[00:10:40.890] move for the sake of moving so yeah you know i was setting up my ability to move for probably
[00:10:49.450] the last five ten years yeah like even um with my wife the decision was you know her going into a
[00:10:58.800] career that's transferable right she's in teaching and special ed so she's a specialist she can go
[00:11:05.940] to just about any city or any area there's a need for what she does she may just have to
[00:11:10.960] get recertified in that state right right i built a network nationally so i'm not relying on lehigh
[00:11:16.800] valley business or networking to you know i love it and i love helping stories of people here in
[00:11:23.900] home but it's not uh you know i'm a premium brand and uh at least the allentown economic market is
[00:11:32.600] not where you can sustain something you know just doing jobs just doing projects you need you know
[00:11:40.460] you need to be on that level of people that are investing in something they believe in coming to
[00:11:47.600] you with a strategy already. And those people definitely exist in Lehigh Valley. Don't get me
[00:11:52.920] wrong. You know, I just didn't want to be stuck where if I do move, my proximity is stuck to how
[00:12:01.300] I can make business, you know, anywhere with the internet and a laptop, I can remote in, do what I
[00:12:08.840] do and most of my business is digital anyway yeah and that's how you want to do it especially if you
[00:12:15.700] plan on moving you know I'm in a career where I can move to any state and find a job so you know
[00:12:22.400] moving to Florida it wouldn't actually would it even be difficult I mean obviously besides money
[00:12:26.740] you know it wouldn't be difficult when it comes to finding a job so yeah you have to be prepared
[00:12:31.940] that's not something you want to do off the whim you know what I mean because you don't want to
[00:12:36.420] move and then have to move back you know i'm saying because then that shows like you failed
[00:12:41.160] or you didn't plan accordingly yeah or you don't have anywhere to move back to because you didn't
[00:12:46.540] plan accordingly exactly it's like it uh it makes sense but no i think it's important to know like
[00:12:57.180] i did some traveling recently i was out in south by southwest and yeah i've been out there it's
[00:13:03.340] awesome I saw an awesome movie and I'm talking with the director afterwards and he's saying one
[00:13:09.480] of the things he wished he did more was network in his 20s and I'm like man that's crazy you know
[00:13:17.810] all the things that I thought that I'd you know I'm going on 40 and all the things that I thought
[00:13:22.410] I want to have it's like I go to sleep every night and I'm blessed that I can do something
[00:13:29.500] that i love or even just have a podcast or do this you know what i mean it's easy to compare
[00:13:36.100] and look at other people's stuff especially when we're in like a visual and a vulnerable field like
[00:13:42.800] talking on mic you know what i mean people have conversations with friends or in barber shops all
[00:13:49.480] the time but like to get on mic and to say and i listened to some of my stuff from three four years
[00:13:55.200] ago i'm like i don't even know if i believe this anymore but yeah you know i i believed it then i
[00:14:00.640] was passionate about it and if i need to recant it or bring it up you have to understand people
[00:14:06.080] like people change you know what i mean our views change as we get older we don't even
[00:14:11.940] eat the same things you know so yeah uh so much can change with you know with just in a year
[00:14:18.480] with viewpoints our beliefs what we like to eat and that's all through experience you know so i i'm
[00:14:27.400] with you on that 100 do you pretty uh do you stay pretty healthy in terms of food and yeah i have to
[00:14:34.800] so i have ibs no so um i have crohn's disease so i have to oh yeah on a strict diet or else
[00:14:43.860] i'll be in the hospital you know so um that's not something i talk about often i used to you know
[00:14:50.580] be vocal about it on social media but you know i take that down you know um but you know i want
[00:14:59.560] the people to get to know me you you know so but um yeah i have to eat well that's why i'm
[00:15:05.120] always in the gym i cook all my meals once in a while like i'm human once in a while i go out and
[00:15:11.250] eat i'll buy some food but for the most part i cook all my meals you know what i mean i'm a i'm
[00:15:15.790] actually a great cook to be honest with you um that's also something that i also like to do
[00:15:20.010] you know um me too so yeah health is very important to me just because of what i've been through
[00:15:29.310] you know and health should be important to everyone you know so it kind of like coincides
[00:15:35.330] with well health kind of trended for a little bit it did and it's like i think it's a topic to bring
[00:15:43.610] up not that it has anything to do but you remember when gluten-free was like you know and people that
[00:15:53.440] ate gluten-free people with celiacs are like you know i already had to find menus that like
[00:16:00.260] this was a thing you're doing it because you think it's healthier you know what i mean like it's
[00:16:05.720] it's a little different so having to be conscious of health for a reason where you know some some
[00:16:14.390] people are blessed with bodies that they can abuse for years and you know what i mean still
[00:16:19.290] bounce back from that but if you have to do it it's like um you know another thing that was
[00:16:27.850] trending was therapy and just mental health in general so remember you know i live with
[00:16:34.490] mental health so these things that become trending that everybody's like oh my god you can do this
[00:16:40.370] or sleep is a big deal it's like no i can't go too many days without sleep or things start to
[00:16:47.110] like really fall apart so yeah that's kind of unhealthy anyway you know because when you sleep
[00:16:51.630] your body heals up to 90 percent when you sleep so that's why when you're in a hospital
[00:16:58.850] they always say get some rest because your body heals itself while it's sleeping so sleep is very
[00:17:06.200] important for your body and you know for your brain as well you go days without sleeping you're
[00:17:12.080] gonna kind of go crazy won't be able to think straight yeah it starts hallucinating you know
[00:17:17.360] that that stuff is real so sleep is very important i think we want to estimate sleep i really do
[00:17:22.910] yeah no i uh i'm not even behind on any deadlines right now but i've been getting
[00:17:30.810] amazing sleep the past like week or so the whole month hasn't been great i went through
[00:17:36.370] a phase where it was like it wasn't even me working myself to death that was last year
[00:17:44.770] i worked way too hard last year and it was about a year or two where i was like i gotta cut this
[00:17:51.640] back gotta cut this back and it wasn't just new projects coming in doing stuff it was like
[00:17:57.340] investments i wanted to make things i wanted to set myself up for goals i had so yeah i'm working
[00:18:03.860] my ass off and now i'm starting to balance it but there'll be times where i just i can't sleep
[00:18:10.520] and i'll channel into something healthy like writing or yeah whatever you don't know i'm not
[00:18:15.680] really playing video games but right it's it's not a choice and you don't really nobody lives
[00:18:24.640] life like where you can just crash for two or three days you know not pushing 40 you know what
[00:18:30.660] i mean exactly you gotta there's times where i'm like okay i'm gonna push this back i'll just reach
[00:18:36.820] i'll send out a message for eight in the morning to a client saying sorry i didn't get it done last
[00:18:43.720] night i'll touch base with you this afternoon and i'll just like yeah pass out i'll be up but i just
[00:18:49.280] won't be responding to them or whatever yeah yeah um i'm glad that you brought up mental health
[00:18:54.340] because it's um very important especially for men you know what i mean um a lot of men
[00:19:04.660] you know struggle with their emotions and dealing with it and you know us men were taught to
[00:19:13.650] have this bravado and be stoic you know and not allowed to show emotions and whatnot and
[00:19:22.340] I would want to tell men like hey look it's good to have emotions and feel the emotions just
[00:19:27.280] control it I think every guy needs a circle of guys that they trust that they can go to and speak
[00:19:35.710] with about whatever it is they're going through because men we go through similar life experiences
[00:19:41.290] you know men understand men you know um so when it comes to a man's issue i think that it's best
[00:19:48.750] for him to go to another man especially if he's older because you know men we understand you know
[00:19:54.450] we're not judgmental you know um i personally think that men should not go to women for their
[00:20:01.570] problems because you know women look at us as the leaders um strong and you know they want to be
[00:20:14.720] and feel protected so showing weakness to a woman to a certain extent can be detrimental
[00:20:24.890] on your relationship and or to how she views you as a man because women are always looking for a guy
[00:20:31.260] to be dominant strong stoic have self-control be decisive so you know i would you know love to tell
[00:20:41.260] men you know finally get you a group of guys that you trust anytime you're going through something
[00:20:46.680] you call them up meet up with them and you speak because guys will be able to help each other out
[00:20:51.580] because we're all about finding a solution to a problem you know for us just speaking about
[00:20:59.100] our emotions doesn't help for us that works for women and that's fine but men and women are very
[00:21:05.700] different and no that's why i say men should you know keep that circle of friends and go to other
[00:21:13.560] men um therapy i don't know about therapy like i'm not a fan of therapy to be honest with you
[00:21:21.940] but if therapy works for you go you know i mean who the hell am i i'm not god therapy works for
[00:21:29.150] you go to therapy would i go to therapy no you know i have um luckily thank god i have a good
[00:21:38.540] circle of male friends that i can go to and speak about my problems with them and they'll give me
[00:21:46.060] great advice and and uh a solution to solve it you know um i think therapy you know benefits women
[00:21:55.090] more because women like to just talk about the emotions and they'll be happy they'll like feel
[00:21:59.110] satisfied just from just talking about it you know so i think therapy just really it's just
[00:22:05.580] way better for women than it is for men in my opinion that's a good opinion i mean that's a
[00:22:12.150] strong opinion yeah i would say not whether it's good or bad um people go to therapy for different
[00:22:19.590] reasons and i would sum it up by saying i'm not for people thinking that just talking about their
[00:22:27.050] problems is gonna solve or fix anything like if you need to manage medication if that's something
[00:22:38.290] that you're trying through your healing journey you need to do it go on don't go on reddit dog
[00:22:44.190] like don't you know what i mean like people have people want to have a psychology degree i mean
[00:22:51.080] they'll spend a night on reddit or something and they'll go to the therapist saying i'm diagnosed
[00:22:56.220] with this or whatever and like i've been in and out of therapy but i've learned that they put
[00:23:03.340] titles on stuff and my reasons for doing it is having a support system in case things go wrong
[00:23:10.620] so i don't have to get back in line yeah you know what i mean yeah i'm not active in it but i would
[00:23:17.060] get back but i don't use it as just talking about it i use it as accountability for me to say okay
[00:23:24.420] i have this set of goals where i'm working because just like in business just like it relates just
[00:23:29.760] like everywhere where you have goals you also have it for health or mental health so just so
[00:23:36.750] it's a guidance for you it's a mirror i'm setting the guidance nobody's gonna guide me nobody
[00:23:47.850] understands the struggles or what i have to do you know what i mean like the therapist is gonna
[00:23:53.230] tell me don't work till 3 a.m the group of guys is gonna say you want to get breakfast in the
[00:23:58.470] morning like you gotta do what you gotta do you know what i mean like yeah i have different groups
[00:24:04.270] of guys for different stuff where you know the the most i don't want to use the word nurturing
[00:24:15.550] but like the most care that i would get from the group of men is the most what society would say
[00:24:20.530] the roughest group of men you know like these guys are all vets or uh so they're gonna give
[00:24:27.030] you martial arts martial artists you know what i mean i'm giving them up they know who they are
[00:24:31.190] and i'm public on it shout out to the barbershop chronicles but okay these guys are gonna keep me
[00:24:37.610] right but they're not weak men by any means you know what i mean you know honestly that that makes
[00:24:45.150] sense because you can't you can't talk about certain issues that you're going through with
[00:24:58.080] the same person because i've realized that certain guys will give you different type of advice when
[00:25:10.910] you come to them with a problem you know you're going to have for example you got a problem and
[00:25:16.540] You go to Mark.
[00:25:18.290] Mark's the tough guy.
[00:25:19.190] He's going to tell you to suck it up.
[00:25:20.230] Be strong.
[00:25:21.270] Don't show no weakness.
[00:25:23.260] Then you're going to have Michael.
[00:25:26.030] Michael's the more understanding guy,
[00:25:27.610] and he's going to understand where you're coming from
[00:25:30.580] but give you a different perspective of how you should look at things
[00:25:34.820] and think.
[00:25:37.100] And then you're going to have, you know, Steve,
[00:25:39.820] who's more, I don't want to say emotional,
[00:25:46.510] but I guess he caters to how you feel.
[00:25:48.970] and kind of, like, tells you what you want to hear.
[00:25:50.970] Like, gives you hope, in a sense.
[00:25:52.450] Like, lets you know that everything's going to be all right kind of thing.
[00:25:55.610] You know, so.
[00:25:56.330] I can't think of anybody in my circle I keep around that.
[00:25:59.630] Yeah, that reminds me of, like, a yes man or something.
[00:26:02.650] Right.
[00:26:03.350] I wouldn't say he's necessarily a yes man, but.
[00:26:06.310] Okay.
[00:26:07.210] He's the type of friend that will give you hope in your situation.
[00:26:11.720] If you feel like your back is against the wall, it's all over,
[00:26:15.690] and there's nothing you can do, like, he's going to give you that belief.
[00:26:18.810] like nah bro it's not over you know yeah this happened it sucked but okay i got a couple of
[00:26:24.030] those yeah you know there's there's there's a light at the end of the tunnel you know i'm saying
[00:26:28.090] like he's a more nicer guy i mean he's not so stoic and have all this mavado and tough guy
[00:26:33.210] you know he's a more he's a more gentle one you know still give advice like it tells you what you
[00:26:38.710] need to tell you but also let you know like yo bro it's gonna be all right you know i'm saying
[00:26:43.150] so all in all it's your life and you got to do what works for you there is no one size fits all
[00:26:53.810] when it comes to solving an issue or who you go to talk to that's why i say you know if therapy
[00:26:59.890] works for you go don't listen to me well look if you want to understand the neuroscience in your
[00:27:07.350] brain oh you might not want to talk to mark steve or will or anything like if you're going through
[00:27:14.350] something serious where because yeah you want to see a professional i agree with that if you're not
[00:27:19.850] a mental health professional yeah everything that people are giving is advice and at the end of the
[00:27:25.430] day is still chatter right you need to know if removing your environment or getting into you
[00:27:32.270] know what i mean you deal with certain things where people are dealing with fight or flight
[00:27:36.790] where it's like yeah when there's something to that magnitude yeah go see a professional don't
[00:27:40.930] go to mark stevens yeah no but if it's just your regular everyday struggle that every man goes
[00:27:47.930] through you know go to go to those guys but if it's something that detrimental to your health
[00:27:54.550] and your way of thinking and your well-being go to a professional yeah for sure no i think
[00:28:02.310] therapy exists for a reason yeah um and then i also agree with if you want to choose a male or
[00:28:09.890] a female and like being super selective with who your therapist is you know like it's not your
[00:28:16.070] friend it's a a partner in whatever you have to do and it's not cheap even if you have health
[00:28:22.550] insurance so like you're gonna get something out of it just like i would pay a gym membership or
[00:28:29.100] anything like that like there was years where i had budgeted in what i need to do for therapy
[00:28:35.100] or medication or whatever and have it apart was on some got off some and it's like understanding
[00:28:44.570] what i'm going through i think it was super pivotal during that time whereas you could go
[00:28:51.730] to a priest for that sort of therapy you know what i mean just somebody to hold the moral compass
[00:28:57.110] priest is not going to tell you not to sin he's not going to tell you i mean he's going to tell
[00:29:02.120] you not to sin right but he's not gonna stop being your priest because you said you know what i mean
[00:29:08.120] like nobody ever if they practice catholicism nobody went to confession and then never talked
[00:29:13.660] to the priest again after that they were like all right you gotta go so i mean yeah it's it's
[00:29:21.630] accountability. Like it all comes down to accountability. If I'm in therapy for a year
[00:29:27.990] and every month I go through and I'm talking about the exact same problems, that's not the
[00:29:33.470] therapist's fault. Yeah. So do therapists hold their clients accountable? So if a female or
[00:29:42.000] male goes to a therapist, whether the therapist is a male or female, my question is, are they
[00:29:47.220] holding their clients or their patients accountable like if you know if mike or jessica go to their
[00:29:56.330] therapist about a problem that they're having not not nothing health wise hopefully just your
[00:30:02.260] everyday life problem that they just can't seem to handle do therapists hold their clients
[00:30:06.840] accountable like hey look tony you know you were wrong in that situation and because you made this
[00:30:12.460] and this is why this outcome is like that yes yes and no they'll hold a mirror up to you
[00:30:20.500] so that you say damn i keep running into this same problem with these certain types of people
[00:30:28.120] and they'll explain to you attachment styles or detachment and you can understand further like
[00:30:35.060] why maybe you attract narcissists or why maybe you attract avoidance like a narcissist could
[00:30:43.900] find out in therapy they're a narcissist whatever they do with that information it's whatever but
[00:30:49.080] it's not going to be the therapist saying and it's not the accountability like a coach where
[00:30:53.760] it's like you said you're going to lose 10 pounds you're not like are you serious about this don't
[00:30:58.520] come back yeah it's gonna be more of okay you run into this they know about people's brain and how
[00:31:07.840] people interact with each other so you can learn all like dog i did it for years i never sat there
[00:31:18.180] and laid back and talked about like my dad time issues with my dad as a kid and and i don't think
[00:31:26.540] that's coming i don't think that i'm just here in the middle journey it's more of a maintenance
[00:31:31.940] thing than it is like okay this is something super necessary or this is right and i go through
[00:31:40.000] ups and downs where i might be like let me just have somebody like have a mental health professional
[00:31:46.520] that i could email yeah and just journal something so it's up to me to be accountable if my therapist
[00:31:53.960] is going to hold me accountable or whatever that's not their job to tell you to give advice
[00:31:58.360] like so their job is to what you said mirror if they're good to know to mirror to hold stuff to
[00:32:05.940] present evidence to you to let you know okay you're running into this these like is it
[00:32:14.610] something going on with you chemically or is it external factors you keep running into this
[00:32:23.650] you keep attracting the same type of women that are this as doing this maybe there's a root cause
[00:32:30.410] to it whatever but where are you responsible for it oh you every woman says the same thing you yell
[00:32:38.590] you're controlling you do this you know what i mean yeah therapist is not going to come in
[00:32:43.290] they may know you're this whatever archetype slash detachment style anxious but they got to educate
[00:32:54.780] you on that and you got to accept it and be like okay this is either how I'm wired or this is where
[00:33:01.100] we could do like I couldn't diagnose myself with ADHD someone else with ADHD could probably look
[00:33:08.130] at me and be like yo you got ADHD but they got to do testing and all that stuff and I can't just go
[00:33:16.850] on reddit or go on uh what is it webmd say i have adhd and go to cvs and get some amphetamines you
[00:33:26.710] know what i mean like it's it doesn't work like that so i would tell anybody like if you're gonna
[00:33:34.160] be a dietician and you're gonna understand like health yeah you can educate yourself a ton i did
[00:33:41.180] I learned a ton about health. Do I know down to the molecular level, like the signs? Like, no, not at all. Am I certified in anything? No, I know my body through testing and through trial and error. And I know what works for me, what makes me feel a different way.
[00:33:58.400] that's through years of journaling and putting through stuff that was guided through therapy
[00:34:04.180] but i've gone through like first meeting i'm with you i'm like yeah i don't think this is gonna
[00:34:13.360] connect or work i don't think we're gonna get to where we need to get i watch how you talk to other
[00:34:19.680] people how people look when they leave your office before i go in like i don't know it's just like
[00:34:25.980] with a personal trainer you know what i mean like yeah yeah you're gonna train with somebody who's
[00:34:31.560] wildly opposite than you on social publicly and stuff like i don't know i get it because i
[00:34:38.820] generally didn't know you know so um because i had this i have this view on therapy and
[00:34:46.350] therapist and i don't know i just it was just i don't know if it's has to do with the black
[00:34:54.240] community and how we look at therapy could be you know it's a thing that's a thing for sure
[00:35:00.820] you know i'm saying so like therapy has never been a good thing growing up you know not with
[00:35:05.980] my mom either you know i don't want i mean my parents never said anything to me about therapy
[00:35:11.520] it was never brought up but like just you know being in the black community we don't we're not
[00:35:16.530] too fond of therapy i'm not saying there's no black we gotta go to therapy not this there
[00:35:20.830] they definitely are but it's just my mom pushed positive thinking um she had never worked with
[00:35:27.200] a therapist or anything like that but she had later on in life been okay with me and my sister
[00:35:32.980] going down that path but yeah you gotta realize i went through 10 years of hating doctors and
[00:35:39.780] off medicine completely just completely holistically managing my own stuff learning
[00:35:44.640] meditate like meditating on buses i hated doctors that's funny listen so i like being able to speak
[00:35:52.260] on both sides of things like if i'm gonna have an opinion on something it can't be because i only
[00:35:58.220] tried one way you know what i mean yeah you know man chocolate is my favorite flavor oh yeah what's
[00:36:04.900] your second favorite well you know i only ever tried chocolate like you know it's not an interesting
[00:36:09.420] conversation at all you close-minded you know but uh you said you do bible study i'm not sure
[00:36:15.950] if that was on mic or off mic right that was off mic we don't mind talking about talking about that
[00:36:20.690] so yeah um i do bible study um growing up in brooklyn i went to catholic school i had my
[00:36:28.670] communion and in catholic school you know they would take us to church you know um in class in
[00:36:36.100] the morning we'd say the hail mary our father like it was just so i grew up you know believing
[00:36:41.720] in god because i went to you know i went to church and stuff like that and um my grandmother was you
[00:36:50.410] know very religious she would always have the rosary be and pray every single day and i would
[00:36:56.030] always go to church for her on sunday you know up until she passed and then um you know i had some
[00:37:04.610] like you know uh some like scary nightmares and stuff like that i'm just gonna call it nightmares
[00:37:14.370] but i had some scary um experiences that you know made me want to get closer to god i'm like okay
[00:37:21.440] if this is real then god is definitely real like nobody can convince me he's not so i did a bible
[00:37:27.860] study for a few years straight just learning because there was so much that i didn't know
[00:37:33.600] that i wanted to know and i had a i have a good friend of mine who knows the bible and he would
[00:37:38.020] just randomly tell me stories from the bible and i was just finding so fascinating i'm like okay
[00:37:41.740] now i gotta find i need to know more you know and um yeah the bible study and just to draw closer
[00:37:50.190] to god and because i saw that he was real and i i've had like good experiences that was like oh
[00:37:56.970] crap like this guy's really real you know i'm saying and i'm pretty sure everybody who believes
[00:38:02.520] And God has some kind of dope experience where they can't even explain.
[00:38:05.760] That's like, oh, that's that's not luck.
[00:38:07.460] That's that's that's from a higher power.
[00:38:10.740] Sure.
[00:38:11.480] You know, so anything is possible through God.
[00:38:15.890] Well, and but that's a that's a form of therapy here that that shares more in that mirror that I'm talking about.
[00:38:26.260] Like you have a compilation of books that says this is the way that it's supposed to go.
[00:38:32.550] So you're a person in a broken kingdom saying there's all this sin around me, but it doesn't make it OK.
[00:38:40.230] I'm going to live like this, man.
[00:38:41.570] I'm going to do like this.
[00:38:44.660] It's the same thing with our behaviors.
[00:38:46.560] Like if you grew up in a family where everybody's just throwing shit at the wall, you know what I mean?
[00:38:52.620] You're going to think that's how I express is how you do it.
[00:38:55.780] So when you're saying, okay, this actually leads to dysfunction, this leads to crime, this does all this sort of stuff.
[00:39:03.880] And you can see, I mean, as humans, we're social beings.
[00:39:07.660] Like, it's okay to have an identity and a self.
[00:39:10.940] I don't think people are okay enough with being the minority on things.
[00:39:16.930] Yeah.
[00:39:18.850] Everybody wants to be cool, bro.
[00:39:20.850] Everybody wants to fit in.
[00:39:22.030] um and a lot of people are scared to go against the grain a lot of people are scared to share
[00:39:32.640] their true opinions about said subject because they don't want to be hated or ostracized and
[00:39:41.660] um that used to be me um i would be very careful about what i would say
[00:39:51.260] publicly and I'll be very careful about my opinions on what I thought about whatever
[00:39:57.660] publicly because I didn't want people to look at me a certain way or think negatively about me
[00:40:03.830] because reputation is somewhat important it's not everything but I think everyone should care
[00:40:12.460] what other people think about them to an extent because your reputation could either make you
[00:40:20.940] or break you it could either elevate you to succeed or it could be the reason why you don't
[00:40:27.320] succeed it could be the reason why they don't want to do that deal with you they don't want to do
[00:40:30.720] business with you they don't want to lend you that money for your project it could be the reason why
[00:40:36.220] they don't want to have you on their show or on their on their movies or on their song you know
[00:40:42.360] so let me ask you when you say not care what people think about you what do you mean by that
[00:40:49.200] or you said you should care a little bit just in terms of how it affects your
[00:40:53.920] reputation or right. So, okay.
[00:40:57.200] If you have a belief and you feel strongly about that belief,
[00:41:03.940] you should voice it and not care,
[00:41:09.190] especially if it's morally correct.
[00:41:12.600] You should stand on that because there are more people than you realize that
[00:41:19.420] have that same view, but just were scared to say it.
[00:41:21.420] and because you were brave enough to actually say that out loud that's gonna do more good than bad
[00:41:27.820] for you you know now you also want to watch how you portray yourself that's where i that's where
[00:41:39.720] i mean where you that's where you should care what people think because how you portray yourself to
[00:41:44.600] people will will determine your success networking you know um if you're in the entertainment business
[00:41:53.330] whether it's acting music podcasting streaming networking is a big thing outside of you know
[00:42:01.210] posting your content or your talent because what did i say earlier we need other people to succeed
[00:42:08.970] and if you if i need your help tony to blow up in this podcast and you have the number one podcast
[00:42:18.670] The last thing I want to do
[00:42:20.970] Is come off as an asshole
[00:42:22.950] To you
[00:42:24.250] And to the people around you
[00:42:26.090] That you associate yourself with
[00:42:27.690] You know what I'm saying
[00:42:29.150] That's when you should care
[00:42:30.940] How
[00:42:31.200] What people think about you
[00:42:32.560] Yeah
[00:42:33.500] I didn't want to skip over
[00:42:35.320] Cause
[00:42:36.680] I think reputation is everything
[00:42:40.720] Yeah
[00:42:41.300] But at the same time
[00:42:42.820] I really
[00:42:44.580] Don't
[00:42:46.640] Give a fuck
[00:42:47.700] About what people think
[00:42:48.960] It is
[00:42:49.320] But like
[00:42:50.300] i use that as an example i curse i'm very articulate i'm very punctual and professional
[00:42:57.790] and probably the way that i think about language and communication comes off too
[00:43:03.490] polished that it doesn't feel authentic so there's another filter from how i actually think to how i
[00:43:11.130] actually speak i'm very conscious of how i'm presented and that's with or without a mic on
[00:43:18.910] Right. But when somebody had said about in the Bible that cursing is essentially sinful and that you can be as close to God, I didn't know that that was something new presented to me.
[00:43:35.930] so do i care if people like do i care if people curse do i suddenly all of a sudden think okay
[00:43:42.630] this person is sinful because they curse now if it's to the point where you can't control it at
[00:43:49.830] all there's no thought before you're not cursing intentionally right then it's like okay that's a
[00:43:55.730] lack of verbal discipline but my mirror is telling me now okay let me look further into this verse
[00:44:04.820] let me see more about if I should at least not think you're gonna be like I don't use the m word
[00:44:10.120] really right so I'm conscious about language in general I just think that it's more about intent
[00:44:18.180] behind words right and if you could shed light on that to me like what it says in the bible if I
[00:44:24.020] should not curse or I um I don't know exactly what what it says about cursing in the bible so I don't
[00:44:32.500] want to make anything up that's something i actually want to look up honestly um we should
[00:44:36.800] i think we should do that um my phone's over there you can look it up give me one second let
[00:44:43.060] me see because now now i'm curious because if if it's a person telling you because people say oh
[00:44:49.820] cursing is a sign of low intelligence no it's the other way around you know i'm saying so it's the
[00:44:54.900] other way around uh slang they could say it might be a sign of low intelligence but i don't know
[00:45:02.450] And then we could fact check that, too.
[00:45:05.410] I've heard it's a high intelligence thing, but.
[00:45:12.580] Okay.
[00:45:13.180] Yeah, it says it strictly forbids any speech that is destructive, obscene, or uses God's name in vain.
[00:45:22.820] Let's see what, let's see.
[00:45:23.800] That doesn't qualify all of cursing, though.
[00:45:26.520] Right, right.
[00:45:27.220] Like saying, I don't give a fuck what people think.
[00:45:29.700] let's see jesus taught that we say comes directly from the condition of our hearts
[00:45:37.720] affinity gossip and curses are seen as symptoms of internal anger or malice yeah see i don't
[00:45:44.840] really gossip like that see i don't know i am then i am intentional so i am yeah yeah so
[00:45:50.580] it it's based off what i'm what i'm reading it's how we're using those words yeah you know because
[00:45:59.570] sometimes you have to you know use be direct and use destructive language to get your point across
[00:46:09.680] to stop people from messing with you you know hey uh war has always been a thing murder has
[00:46:17.000] always been a thing even back when jesus was born so um and you know we are allowed to defend
[00:46:22.840] ourselves like you know i think i don't know the exact quote in the bible but you know that's okay
[00:46:27.300] like you're supposed to defend yourself and sometimes like you got to tell somebody because
[00:46:32.160] people take kindness for weakness you know so sometimes you got to be like yo look i'll fuck
[00:46:36.040] you up like don't play with me sometimes you have to say that because people think like you tony like
[00:46:41.840] you you're very well spoken you're you're a genuine guy you're a nice guy and people could easily
[00:46:47.460] think that you're you're punk and but and if they do think that that's when you got to let them like
[00:46:55.220] yo look i'll fuck you up in here like it'll get real bloody in here you know i'm saying like don't
[00:47:00.660] don't let this you know it's a different demeanor with me that's funny i understand what you mean
[00:47:06.180] it's funny i could channel people know my my history with training and stuff and i've never
[00:47:11.040] claimed to be a badass or any of that neither i tell more stories about walking away it's funny
[00:47:17.540] since i've been training jujitsu i walked away from three fights and um yeah the immediate response
[00:47:26.080] is you about four inches taller 20 pounds we're not even in the same weight class like you know
[00:47:35.020] what i mean like it's i don't know i don't ever agree with verbally like i don't like i don't
[00:47:42.060] believe in fighting words somebody asked me somebody came to me with fighting words and
[00:47:47.180] and um you know just asked me and i just said i apologize if my you know what i mean if if i'm
[00:47:56.400] if i offended you we both had long days and stuff like this at the same time i'm gripping the shit
[00:48:02.020] out of his hand and look at him dead in his eye but it's like dude we don't you know what i mean
[00:48:08.700] like that's the right thing to do i used to box so um and self-defense teaches you discipline
[00:48:18.740] you know what i mean and um once you get good at defending yourself you don't want to fight anybody
[00:48:26.110] because you know what you can do yeah did you ever have someone just come in the gym on like
[00:48:31.320] their first day like just want to jump right into sparring i don't know if that that happened in
[00:48:35.760] jujitsu i don't know if that happens in boxing so much because people know more every guy always
[00:48:40.720] wants to spar they always want to skip that's what i mean they always want to just spar and
[00:48:44.960] so you've like thrown down with somebody untrained you you felt the skill difference of like the well
[00:48:52.760] the gym i went to luckily um everybody was respectful nobody had a huge ego there was a
[00:49:00.760] of respect in that particular gym so i did not spar i did spar a guy that was that wasn't as
[00:49:09.100] good as i was but it wasn't like it was like a beat down you know but but i've also sparred with
[00:49:16.120] a guy that beat me up you know what i'm saying so now we've had uh we've had people just come in and
[00:49:23.720] say like you know want to see what like no training nothing no grappling experience whatever
[00:49:30.090] them to see what they can do yeah or just understand what it is like i've had somebody
[00:49:35.240] literally say how do i win at this or what do i do and it's like just make me stop you know what
[00:49:41.350] i mean like it's not really rules i mean there is rules in jiu-jitsu we're not gouging each other's
[00:49:46.230] eyes out and stuff so i don't even go but i just know that when someone trains for like a year
[00:49:56.420] two years three years it's a lot harder to will them around versus when you exactly like you if
[00:50:03.660] you're training with people you're never even in a position where you experience the skill gap of
[00:50:09.240] somebody completely untrained right versus someone else and i'm not even talking like
[00:50:14.580] if you had a hard life and you've been in 25 fights by the time you're 23 you know what i
[00:50:22.180] mean like you're not you're not untrained exactly i mean like you've figured out something right
[00:50:29.700] that works for you you know what i mean like you might not be oh and 100 but you got you got enough
[00:50:35.060] experience to hold your own and even then you don't go sitting there thinking that everybody
[00:50:39.660] is untrained like we're in district 11 like you got lehigh right next door you got like you know
[00:50:45.420] i mean like high school kids that got 13 years grappling experience just walking around drinking
[00:50:53.860] beer in south side bethlehem yeah because pennsylvania um we're we're uh pretty well
[00:51:01.120] known for our wrestling you know like pennsylvania is like has one of the best wrestlers and um
[00:51:07.420] one thing i can honestly say that self-defense teaches you whether it's boxing jiu-jitsu mma
[00:51:13.350] whatever it is that you can never underestimate anybody now you see some of these wrestlers
[00:51:18.970] well see some yeah that's why and i think that's what um boxing taught me not only to
[00:51:28.740] teach me discipline but when i sparred right i got beat up by a kid that was scrawnier than me
[00:51:35.150] and shorter than me yeah you know what i'm saying so i uh i didn't go to the gym for like a few
[00:51:43.290] days like i skipped the gym because i didn't want to fight him again you know but um i had spoke to
[00:51:49.920] this guy that i used to work with and he was just giving me some pointers about sparring because like
[00:51:54.960] i had my lip was busted my jaw was like hurt you know i'm saying like like you can tell i got into
[00:52:00.600] a fight so i was scared but um i like the movie rocky so you know if you know the movie rock you
[00:52:08.330] know like rocky when he lost uh mr t he didn't want to go he didn't want to have that rematch
[00:52:13.730] because he was afraid you know but he overcame that so I always thought about that okay I gotta
[00:52:21.430] go back and see what I did wrong and like you know fix what I did and I end up sparring him again
[00:52:27.270] and um I did well I didn't beat him up but he also didn't beat me up either um but yeah it taught me
[00:52:33.750] like that's why I never think I'm the biggest baddest I don't think I'm the strongest I don't
[00:52:37.130] think I'm the toughest I don't think I can beat everybody up because one thing I learned is always
[00:52:41.670] somebody better bigger stronger taller smarter it was that way when we were 25 it's not you know
[00:52:48.990] what i mean i've trained i don't speak about my training much but i've trained with 23 24 year
[00:52:54.690] olds it's a different level of cardio you know what i mean like even even with the vaping here
[00:53:00.590] and there like it's a different father time is undefeated like you can't do any like the knowledge
[00:53:08.750] is great yeah but and you know my background before jujitsu was in wrestling and i'm learning
[00:53:16.030] with jujitsu we were workhorses like we were exerting energy for no reason like it's a sport
[00:53:22.670] where you're trying to put someone on your back it's very helpful in fighting but it's not
[00:53:30.630] fighting it's not a realistic simulation of fighting you know um it's a very high chance
[00:53:37.930] that you'll have to do something with that if you're if you're not in the ring if you're fighting
[00:53:42.490] outside of the ring but you know i just learned move super fast use ridiculous energy my coach
[00:53:51.380] had to tell me like dude you could trip someone you don't have to lift them like you can always
[00:53:56.740] trip someone you don't have to pick them up in the air and use all that yeah but uh i want to
[00:54:02.280] learn jiu-jitsu i'm not gonna lie that's something i always wanted to learn just never made the time
[00:54:05.720] for it but yeah shout out exalt jujitsu and bethlehem i'm gonna get started back up there
[00:54:10.580] soon yeah i think that it's very important for a man to learn some kind of self-defense whether
[00:54:18.820] it's boxing karate jujitsu mma you name it and the reason why i say that because men are assholes
[00:54:26.700] and men like to try other men and you got bullies out there even as adults you know and
[00:54:34.480] if you have a family a wife and kids your wife or your girlfriend is always going to look for
[00:54:42.600] you to protect her because you're stronger and you want to be able to defend her if that time
[00:54:50.640] were to come you know but also self-defense gives men confidence it gives us that aura about us that
[00:55:01.020] women love dude it's goals you know it's it's a personal development plan yeah you know what i
[00:55:08.460] mean yeah it teaches us discipline it teaches us patience and again confidence and the the attitude
[00:55:18.940] and swag that we gain from it is what will attract women you know because the example that we always
[00:55:28.200] use on the podcast with the dating is we always talk about gender roles and we always say you
[00:55:34.820] know if a burglar came into the house he has to go do you expect your boyfriend or husband to
[00:55:41.770] get up and fight the guy they say yeah you know and if you can't defend your household
[00:55:51.260] you can't defend your kids and your wife you're gonna regret it you're gonna regret it you're
[00:55:58.790] to feel like a loser you're going to feel very insecure and your woman your wife or your girlfriend
[00:56:06.180] she's not going to look at you the same it's just a matter of time till she's gone and i say that
[00:56:10.600] because most all men we want a girlfriend a wife somebody to grow old with and um a lot of guys
[00:56:20.730] struggle with women and i think that learning some kind of self-defense and or working out
[00:56:31.900] would help that confidence you know how they always say oh after a breakup um go to the gym
[00:56:40.330] you know you should work out why they say that because when you work out and you start to
[00:56:48.270] make progress but one is builds mental toughness because how many times you go into the gym
[00:56:53.330] and you tell yourself anything that you can't do it and you actually end up doing that workout like
[00:56:57.840] oh crap i those are usually the best ones so it builds it builds mental strength and it also
[00:57:04.220] builds confidence you know i mean because if i can't be beat in the gym then i can't be beat
[00:57:09.860] out there in the world because i already went through hell and back in here because everybody
[00:57:13.740] knows working out ain't easy boxing ain't easy jujitsu ain't easy you're being humbled every
[00:57:19.060] damn day you know what i'm saying but it also teaches you to fight back because life is gonna
[00:57:24.840] knock you down bro it's gonna knock you down any chance you get if not fight back just get up get
[00:57:31.680] up and fight back it's i was very intentional with the name i will not lose podcast you know
[00:57:39.720] what i mean and yeah the crown and the idea of pushing that you know pushing that you give up
[00:57:48.790] mentally way before you give up you know what i mean like before you really can't go on you know
[00:57:56.450] mean like before you really can't go on so it was a good reminder for me and for myself and i think
[00:58:02.690] like it's important like you said to say um you said about going to the gym like or going to the
[00:58:11.330] gym i don't want people to think that like training martial arts instantly makes it that
[00:58:16.910] you can beat everybody up you know what i mean like you can look at the percentages and be like
[00:58:22.270] okay, 97% of people don't know the things that I know, even just like basic stuff, you know what I
[00:58:28.970] mean? And you don't even need to go all the way up in the belts in anything to be dangerous versus
[00:58:35.070] somebody untrained. It's just that having goals, having something, having that camaraderie,
[00:58:42.860] the partnership of other people that are bettering themselves with you, you know what I mean? It's
[00:58:47.780] like, you want to be around a circle of friends. You want to be around a circle of people that
[00:58:52.200] better themselves community yeah everybody's doing something or has like a story behind why
[00:58:59.750] they're training and it's it's cool there's so many benefits to working out or learning
[00:59:04.770] self-defense it's a stress relief it's a stress reliever it builds confidence it builds mental
[00:59:12.210] toughness and um you're also just fun too it's fun it's fun yeah it's fun it's healthy it keeps
[00:59:21.760] you in shape but you also get to defend yourself you know you and i would feel like crap if we
[00:59:27.940] couldn't defend our girlfriend or our kids no i was gonna go i woke up today i was gonna go for a
[00:59:32.880] run because i'm like oh man it's just been like a month since i really had a good workout the way
[00:59:38.480] that i wanted to so it's it's just a feeling i know it's gonna and it'll us man it'll make us
[00:59:44.640] feel good about ourselves and when you're happy you attract happy people you attract uh positive
[00:59:51.900] things you know so you want to be happy obviously it's life you know it's going to be happy but
[00:59:59.180] self-learning self-defense or working out it it makes you feel good about yourself because as
[01:00:08.500] human beings we're imperfect so we tend to doubt ourselves more than normal and we're not as
[01:00:15.570] confident as we like to think you know so learning self-defense or working out it builds that
[01:00:22.160] confidence like because you know every time i underestimated myself in the gym like damn i don't
[01:00:26.600] think i can lift that weight 10 times and then i go and i lift that weight 10 times and that just
[01:00:31.620] proves to show you that we you know we are stronger than we actually think well i think you
[01:00:37.920] if you have goals and you eat well and you see the benefits long term because none of this stuff
[01:00:43.640] happens super quickly but if you're really in tune with your body you know you might save the
[01:00:51.440] burger for a weekend if you yeah you eat burgers like i love burgers by the way you know what i
[01:00:56.860] mean and you don't have to cut out all carbs and not be healthy but it's just a matter of know
[01:01:02.060] you're gonna feel slower know that the digestion is gonna be heavier when you decide so if you're
[01:01:08.720] gonna go work out you know how many times i've heard people like high performing people i know
[01:01:14.220] say well i'm gonna eat something light because i'm gonna be working out later you know what i
[01:01:18.120] mean like they have complete mastery over what they're putting in their body the timing that's
[01:01:23.360] discipline that's hard to do but it's possible let's do it yeah i got uh i don't think people
[01:01:30.780] understand when you have a solid diet and even just like light i think i was running 20
[01:01:37.860] 20 to 40 minutes a day like minimum 20 minutes like uh i think two miles or so like just under
[01:01:47.090] two miles and i'm looking to get back into it not to be physically scarier or any of that just
[01:01:54.670] because i know the endorphins benefits i know how relaxed you feel i know it's healthy it's good for
[01:01:59.790] your heart lower heart rate yeah like it's dope stuff so what do you got working on what's coming
[01:02:06.150] new we went a little over an hour we didn't start landing the plane but stuff was coming so um i just
[01:02:13.630] put on making more appearances on you know podcasts just to you know get better at speaking and you
[01:02:21.890] know figuring out my niche you know like my niece is dating and relationships like i could talk about
[01:02:28.620] that all damn day um i i would like to start my own podcast so i'm trying to figure out where
[01:02:34.820] and how I can go about doing that and like what what I talk about you know because I want to I
[01:02:41.100] want to be a little different I want to stand out but I want it to be organic you know but um in
[01:02:46.800] terms of that I'm still with the No Fugazi podcast you know we're going live next week Saturday
[01:02:50.720] you know we're going to Dallas Texas the end of July we've we've been able to meet some dope
[01:02:57.950] people and network and we're going to do a podcast out there in Dallas Texas so I'm going to be doing
[01:03:04.170] that as well um I was able to network with a guy that you know has connections with other podcasts
[01:03:12.800] that I can like get on so I'll be doing that as well and um see what and then just take it from
[01:03:20.770] there just really like ride this wave of being on podcasts you know I'm saying so that's pretty
[01:03:26.570] much what I got going on I definitely I'm I'm looking into getting some equipment but I don't
[01:03:32.130] want to just put out random stuff you know like you I want to be intentional with what I'm putting
[01:03:36.350] out yeah and i wanted to be you want to talk to me in terms of equipment right and i want to be
[01:03:42.270] informative i don't want to just talk about random stuff you know whatever i put out whatever i
[01:03:49.270] disclose i want it to be beneficial to the audience you know i'm saying so that's why i'm
[01:03:54.310] taking my time and i'm pretty sure it'll come to me for sure well you can talk to people that did
[01:04:01.590] to know things you could run into or think about stuff but you don't have to overthink it you
[01:04:08.590] already have the equipment you got a phone you have a car you can put out content right now
[01:04:13.690] but you know what i mean um go live and all that you got a device right there that has
[01:04:19.050] great audio and video right um there's a love to all this or why i have this mic the specific
[01:04:29.100] tonality I'm trying to catch that people who have been listening to me for years, that's something
[01:04:34.880] familiar for them. You can't catch that through a phone. So you start to level up little areas
[01:04:40.720] from there, but the organization, the planning, that's where I fell off. And that comes with
[01:04:48.060] scheduling guests as well. Before you know it, it's too late to get somebody in and spend six
[01:04:54.180] hours editing a great clip you know what i mean i got my time down from six hours but still yeah
[01:04:59.780] it takes time so if you're gonna do that every two weeks you gotta have weeks worth of guests
[01:05:05.780] and backup episodes in case people go and i took it for granted the past like six months or so
[01:05:14.800] i took it way more for granted versus you know when i had that spark and being on other people's
[01:05:20.960] podcasts shout out to Nick Asenio with the platform that's my boy shout out to uh Donna
[01:05:27.980] Jean with in the hall closet podcast um and then going back previous to six months on so Laura's
[01:05:35.240] podcast speaking about mental health and doing things that I feel make an impact outside you
[01:05:42.240] know sharing uh I'm an open book people clients find things about me people know that I'm sober
[01:05:50.020] People know that I'm spiritual, like it's all out there. So I've been fortunate enough to
[01:05:57.780] know how to network really, really well that my social persona can just be fun and my thoughts
[01:06:06.780] and an extension and just something fun for me. It doesn't have to be listed all out and stuff
[01:06:13.480] like that. But yeah, in terms of equipment, all this stuff, everything that we're recording on
[01:06:18.580] here the most the most expensive is this mic or probably that roadcaster everything else is under
[01:06:24.800] like 50 bucks everything amazon definitely has some stuff that i was glancing through i didn't
[01:06:29.860] really get to do a deep dive but well you gotta know if it's all right and this will help somebody
[01:06:35.440] that's why i'm letting it go even though we're landing the plane if you get a cheap recorder
[01:06:41.660] that doesn't match video and you want to do video later it's gonna fall off track like
[01:06:48.100] See, that's what I did.
[01:06:49.280] After an hour, you know.
[01:06:49.580] I did not know that, so good for telling me.
[01:06:51.700] For sure.
[01:06:52.280] You'll see 4,400 or 4,800, and it has to be 4,800 to match video.
[01:06:58.820] Okay.
[01:06:59.540] Well, yeah, we'll talk, man.
[01:07:00.800] Is there anything you wanted to drop your socials, let people know?
[01:07:03.840] Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, Ease to the World.
[01:07:07.300] That's E-A-S-E, to the world.
[01:07:09.880] That's spelled correctly.
[01:07:11.160] I'm on Facebook.
[01:07:12.420] It's Brian Ease Selamy.
[01:07:14.860] Brian with a Y.
[01:07:15.640] Selamy is S-E-L-A-M-Y.
[01:07:18.740] And once you find that, you'll be able to find my TikTok and threads, Twitter, all that.
[01:07:28.230] On Twitter, my handle is MyNameIsEase, spelled correctly.
[01:07:33.850] And, yeah, be on the lookout because I'll be definitely putting out way more content.
[01:07:38.490] I've definitely put on being more consistent compared to what I've been now.
[01:07:43.430] That's what's up.
[01:07:44.490] Myself as well.
[01:07:45.510] Well, I'll keep it easy. You can find new episodes at IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can hire me for professional creative services at TOTheDesigner.com. And my handle everywhere is at TOTheDesigner, spelled like to the designer. So you just put that in your Google search bar and find me on all platforms.
[01:08:06.690] thank you for listening to another episode of i will not lose podcast appreciate you and if
[01:08:13.140] you're not subscribed please hit that subscribe button i'm going to be putting more of a focus
[01:08:17.400] into hitting that goal of monetization on youtube and stop giving all the good content to facebook
[01:08:23.980] who knows what's going to happen with this platform and watch out for an email list coming
[01:08:28.480] soon at the time of recording this we are currently gaining awareness for blood donation
[01:08:37.400] through miller keystone andre williams former running back of the new york giants he's going
[01:08:48.020] to be donating on june 12th i'll let you know some other dates we won't get this episode out
[01:08:55.100] by the time that comes out but we will be continuing to donate blood you can look up
[01:09:01.560] the heart and hustle campaign we're also raising funds to stop human trafficking
[01:09:06.800] through all funds for the celebrity casino night the strength and love celebrity casino night
[01:09:13.480] you can get information on that at strength the letter n love.org you can buy tickets and all
[01:09:21.240] proceeds go to Benefit Deliver Fund, which is to help stop human trafficking in the Lehigh Valley.
[01:09:26.820] You hear me talking a lot more about those couple events. Stay tuned. See you next week.
[01:09:32.200] All right. Thank you for listening to another episode of I Will Not Lose Podcast. To support
[01:09:38.750] the show, visit IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can subscribe to your favorite podcast player,
[01:09:44.950] share the episode link, leave a comment. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.
[01:09:49.350] and if you're listening in and can't see the qr code for donation go to to the designer.com
[01:09:55.710] slash links and there's instructions to donate up there thanks so much