The Goal Is To Fail 4 - I Will Not Lose Podcast - #0043

Transcript

[00:00:06.860] Good morning, good evening, good night, good afternoon, whatever time you're listening
[00:00:10.700] in, wherever you're listening from.
[00:00:13.080] Shout out to my Spotify listenership, Apple and Google podcasts, and YouTube if you're
[00:00:17.700] watching in.
[00:00:18.660] Thanks for giving me a reason to get dressed.
[00:00:20.740] You could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here.
[00:00:23.480] Be present and recognize that it's now, right now.
[00:00:26.900] Whether your right now is working, flying, running, driving, be thankful we're alive,
[00:00:31.700] baby.
[00:00:32.740] Failure can be frightening.
[00:00:34.440] However, as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
[00:00:41.180] This is I Will Not Lose Podcast, where we set out to prove everything is learned from failure, and we must persevere and recognize it as one step closer to success.
[00:00:49.790] I'm your host, Tony Ortiz. Let's jump right in.
[00:00:54.550] What's up? What's up? What's going on, everyone?
[00:00:57.550] You're going to get a little bit different energy from me today.
[00:01:00.290] this is the goal is to fail for where we kind of check back in see where we're at see if we're on
[00:01:06.910] track and um not my i'll be straight up i'm not my normal cheery self you know i'm a little
[00:01:14.670] irritated so i'll kind of open up with a story why i'm like this and then kind of talk myself
[00:01:23.000] out of it and get back to my normal cheery self so i'm gonna let you guys come with me on my little
[00:01:27.640] talk therapy session, but I've been pushing for season four to expand the show. Now, the past,
[00:01:37.500] this is my first solo episode in almost three months. We've been having back-to-back guests,
[00:01:43.540] amazing, amazing guests have been sharing their time with us. So super grateful for that. I don't
[00:01:49.380] want it to come off in any way ungrateful about that, but I had an opportunity to have a panel
[00:01:56.160] discussion and my technical limitations allow me for two mics. So I had it set up, but I always
[00:02:03.380] knew I wanted to expand to four. No big deal. We're doing the show about a year, decided, okay,
[00:02:09.000] it's time to expand. But instead of going and getting myself the equipment I need, I tried to
[00:02:15.160] go the used route. So I find somebody that is selling an interface that can do what I need to
[00:02:21.900] do. It's about 50 bucks cheaper than retail. I drive to Quakertown to get it. They broke it on
[00:02:28.100] the way, removing it from their setup. So, okay. I find the same one online for cheaper than he had
[00:02:38.800] it from Guitar Center. So they're a reputable source. They test their equipment. I go, I buy
[00:02:43.740] it. I wait a couple of days. I still have the interview on for Friday. So it's now Tuesday or
[00:02:51.280] So I get the interface.
[00:02:53.500] I go and I set it up and it's fried.
[00:02:57.060] I take it back to Guitar Center.
[00:02:58.880] They realized that the actual cord that was shipped with it wasn't the same one.
[00:03:05.100] So it would have fried the internals.
[00:03:07.360] So, OK, can't do it.
[00:03:09.760] Decide I'm not going to go three, four hundred bucks to solve my problem just yet.
[00:03:14.540] I'm going to go one more time and try the used route.
[00:03:20.250] so I drive back to guitar center well I try to drive back to guitar center to get a cord I need
[00:03:27.070] to make what can work work and my tire's flat so there's a screw through my tire it must have went
[00:03:35.390] down overnight my dad steps up gets off helps me and comes over and we change the tire so I'm on a
[00:03:46.330] donut. I get over to Guitar Center. They're sold out of the cord that I need. And this is a cord
[00:03:51.790] you can't find anywhere within an hour. So I finally at this point say, OK, we're going to
[00:03:58.930] have to postpone the interview. I have a mixer coming in Saturday. So I go. I figure everything's
[00:04:08.350] going to be good. I wake up yesterday. I'm recording now on a Sunday and get the mixer
[00:04:13.550] out of the box. Everything's good. It's missing a cable. This is another one of those cables. It's
[00:04:18.830] an older mixer, so you can't find it anywhere. I drive to Walmart. I drive to Best Buy. Can't find
[00:04:25.030] it. I'm going on six days trying to solve this problem now. And at this point, I still have the
[00:04:30.890] interview scheduled for sometime later this week, potentially. Yeah, I'm at my wits end. I'm getting
[00:04:39.180] frustrated with this. I'm getting upset at, um, honestly people that wanted to see the show grow.
[00:04:45.800] Like I'm having resentment towards everybody that told me it would be good idea to have multiple
[00:04:51.400] guests and to grow the show and to do this. So, um, I had to check myself and, you know,
[00:04:58.660] realize I wasn't being my own character. I wasn't being myself. Uh, there's no reason to have
[00:05:04.920] resentment or anger. This was something that I wanted to eventually grow into anyway, and I'll
[00:05:10.460] get there. But it reminded me the reason why I started the show, and it wasn't to let perfectionism
[00:05:20.780] get in the way of doing anything. I mean, I said it back, maybe I'll cut in here to the first
[00:05:27.280] episode where I said, I'm not going to be a perfectionist, but... So I hope you guys can
[00:05:35.610] understand that. I'm not going to let my perfectionist make this not happen. But at the
[00:05:40.730] same time, I do care very much for quality. This is for you. This is in service of you.
[00:05:46.410] There is a certain level of, you know, it has to look so good because I'm a creative professional.
[00:05:52.750] I can't put out dog shit. But that's not what makes the show. And I've let perfectionism get
[00:06:02.690] in the way of stuff. I completely got tied up in trying to fix this problem instead of fixing it
[00:06:09.310] the right way. I think honestly, what I'm going to do is I'm just going to buy the equipment that
[00:06:14.730] I need. I plan on doing this for a long time. I'm just going to invest in myself. It's not a big
[00:06:19.970] deal, but it taught me this lesson as I'm going through. I mean, when Gil Thompson was going to
[00:06:26.910] drop his album a year ago. I had about two weeks to get the episode edited and recorded. But on the
[00:06:36.930] day of recording, my smoke alarm was going off. I was sick, like it's in the recording. I'm coughing
[00:06:42.930] and stuff. But we still pushed forward and we did it. And now it's a classic episode. So I don't
[00:06:50.810] know what changed in a year that I'm suddenly like, oh, I can't do the show because I don't
[00:06:57.030] have four channels and able to have extra guests like we'll make it happen we'll share a damn mic
[00:07:02.730] if we have to like when we started the show when Gil came over the mics were tied to a monitor
[00:07:10.290] stand like the swivel mounts for the dual monitors it was coming up out of here and it was holding
[00:07:15.450] the mic and you could only go in one direction turning it it wasn't like these arms we have here
[00:07:20.850] And it's amazing that your mentality could change so much from never having the tools.
[00:07:28.250] I never had all the tools that I needed to do what I do professionally.
[00:07:33.290] And I've been doing it for 15 years.
[00:07:35.930] But it strikes up a pain point in me.
[00:07:38.110] You know, I'm like, why don't I deserve?
[00:07:40.310] And then here I go with my entitlement.
[00:07:42.430] Oh, yeah.
[00:07:43.050] You know, I should just be able to have the equipment to do what I need to do.
[00:07:47.690] it's like, come on, man, get off your high horse, do what you have to do. People know me,
[00:07:54.150] even people that I was trying to complain to this about, you know, shout out to my boy, Johnny. He's
[00:07:58.650] like, you always, you always stretch it through and make do with what you have. It always comes
[00:08:04.070] out fine. You know, let it go. We have a music video we're dropping next month. Uh, it's my
[00:08:10.710] first time actually announcing it. I've hinted at it before, but it's all done and it's set up
[00:08:15.630] and it looks damn good. And we shot it on a cell phone. I mean, get out of here. Who am I to say
[00:08:22.480] that you need the best tools in the market in order to put out something acceptable? It's a
[00:08:28.380] free podcast for sake. Like, oh man, I got so in my way. I got so in my own way about trying to
[00:08:40.120] make everything run perfect and run it through the AI so it can cut the camera angles. And it's
[00:08:45.920] like a year ago, we didn't even have AI. They were just starting to talk about chat GPT a year ago.
[00:08:53.000] Who knows it would have been ingrained in our workflow. And it's like making us lazy. It's like,
[00:08:58.900] come on, you could do a little more editing. You could do this stuff. You can patch it together. I
[00:09:03.700] mean, we were recording on a cell phone for the first year. This would probably be the first
[00:09:09.340] episode that goes out in full HD. Like we've been using a 720 camera. We've been using a blurry
[00:09:15.920] camera angle on me for the past year and it hasn't stopped us. The show has grown in listenership and
[00:09:22.500] I was, uh, I had the pleasure of speaking to a listener the other day and she's telling me,
[00:09:30.200] I've loved the run that you have, the direction you're doing with the guests. And no matter what
[00:09:34.980] the episode, I listened to everyone and I gained something from everyone. So it's like, wow,
[00:09:41.760] people are listening and you are making an impact. So I apologize for coming off in, you know,
[00:09:50.380] you come to this show for, um, for therapy and for motivation as well. And I use this show for
[00:09:58.560] therapy myself. So I had to get on here. I had to vent and also just check myself to tie it into
[00:10:06.640] the theme of the podcast, you know, this whole episode should be on perfectionism. Like they
[00:10:12.460] have that meme of the person with all the bricks scattered around and they're trying to be perfect
[00:10:18.340] and think how to stack them. And then you have the other guy that's just stacking them one by one,
[00:10:22.800] one by one. And the next thing you know, he's got a wall there. The show will grow. Thank you for
[00:10:30.680] all your donations. Thank you for all your support, all your comments, liking, subscribing.
[00:10:37.520] I mean, it's easy to get caught up in, oh, we need to do this to grow and to get viewership
[00:10:46.040] and to, um, you know, grow the numbers, but like, I'll say it, fuck the numbers.
[00:10:54.840] Shout out to you that take something from every episode and takes the time out of your
[00:10:59.900] day to take 20 minutes to an hour to listen to what I have to say or what my network has
[00:11:06.140] to say.
[00:11:06.980] That is so cool.
[00:11:08.680] And there's people that, you know, how I can't be ungrateful.
[00:11:12.380] There's people that wish they have a platform to be able to just put free speech out there.
[00:11:20.100] And hopefully it motivates somebody.
[00:11:22.020] You know, you all you all get caught up.
[00:11:24.180] Everybody gets caught up and they want the million views.
[00:11:27.280] They want the numbers, the popularity that comes with it.
[00:11:30.880] But that's really just for the dopamine response that you get from it.
[00:11:35.640] You know, it does bother me to put out a show that's not what I think would be, quote unquote, perfect. But at the same time, I know what it takes to get to that level and what it takes to do that and the staff that it takes to put together a completely well run show.
[00:11:55.040] So it's never been about that even when I started.
[00:11:58.750] That's why every three months I come in, I do, the goal is to fail.
[00:12:03.150] Because if I don't remind myself, then what is this failure?
[00:12:08.150] Because every failure is enough to knock you down.
[00:12:10.550] Every knockdown is enough to take you out of the game.
[00:12:15.340] Now you got a 10 count.
[00:12:17.910] Get up.
[00:12:20.370] Get up, soldier.
[00:12:21.350] Keep it moving.
[00:12:23.070] You know, don't quit.
[00:12:26.520] So I'm telling you as much as I'm telling myself.
[00:12:29.720] There's no need for, you know, I'm contemplating whether I want to do a hiatus and get everything
[00:12:37.340] the way that I want it before I go from there or just scale back for Q4.
[00:12:44.830] We've got a few weeks.
[00:12:46.070] We've got about a month until season four, so I'll figure it out.
[00:12:50.090] I don't have an answer for you just yet, but if this episode does air, at least we're doing
[00:12:55.650] it for another two weeks, man.
[00:13:00.630] I just hit record and got on the mic.
[00:13:02.810] I wanted to be absolutely real with everybody, let them know where I'm at.
[00:13:06.990] Not everything is always sunshines and rainbows, and it's important to share that.
[00:13:13.230] It's important to get it off your chest, you know?
[00:13:18.250] I feel silly even complaining about some of the stuff that has me really worked up and upset about it.
[00:13:24.790] But it's funny.
[00:13:26.670] I mean, it makes a story for the podcast.
[00:13:28.550] I didn't even get into the whole flat tire.
[00:13:31.350] And it was funny because my guest was going to bring a piece of equipment that would have
[00:13:37.650] allowed us to do it.
[00:13:38.690] And they ended up forgetting it.
[00:13:39.990] So just nothing aligned, nothing aligned.
[00:13:42.990] We had snuck like this tiny window in between when they were available to do it.
[00:13:47.190] It just, it didn't work out.
[00:13:49.690] So we'll still continue to bring you some awesome guests.
[00:13:53.790] I have a, I have at least a dozen people that would love to get on the show and I'm scheduling
[00:14:00.530] everything out to be able to get everybody, but it's going to run into next year.
[00:14:05.130] Our guest schedule is definitely going to run into next year.
[00:14:07.950] So big shout out to that, man.
[00:14:10.070] Imagine creating something.
[00:14:11.530] Imagine just putting a couple of mics on talking and then growing something that a network
[00:14:17.850] of people want to be around and grow a value and take value from, you know?
[00:14:23.170] but there's stuff that goes on behind the scenes that i don't share i had two guests in the past
[00:14:31.640] month or two where uh the computer crashed for one we lost the whole recording and i didn't want
[00:14:39.380] to put cell phone audio out we had a great conversation but maybe i'll put it out as bonus
[00:14:45.660] content and people who are really interested because i still have it and it was a great
[00:14:49.540] conversation. And then the other one, we have the, uh, video cut out. So we have a mixed camera
[00:14:58.080] angles, but if I put it out, I could still put out the audio so I can go there. I could start
[00:15:04.190] there. Two pieces of bonus content upcoming, you know, but I felt bad. They, I was more worried
[00:15:11.630] about it than my guests were. They were like, it's cool. We had a great conversation. I'm like,
[00:15:16.150] no, I wasted all your time. But that's where this perfectionism gets me, man. I know it gets a lot
[00:15:25.300] of us, but I hope you can relate. You just want something to be good. You know, you just want
[00:15:31.540] something to be good. And whether or not people are grateful for it or not, there's people that
[00:15:35.940] have come to me and said, it'd be cool if you got a guest of this status or something. And I'm like,
[00:15:40.400] yeah definitely in in due time but there's some interesting people with stories on a local level
[00:15:49.090] and just servicing that community that's a good place to start for right now well i got my vent
[00:15:57.830] session off i'm not sure how long i've been going i can't see over there but it doesn't matter i
[00:16:04.750] feel it was a good episode it was worth putting out best thing i could do is say stop the
[00:16:10.390] perfectionism. You know, just put something out. I'd love to see what you create. I'd love to see
[00:16:15.250] what you put out. I'd love to see what moves you and what inspires you. And perfectionism will get
[00:16:22.170] in the way of all of that stated above. So thank you for listening to another episode of I Will Not
[00:16:29.500] Lose Podcast. To support the show, visit IWillNotLosePodcast.com. You can subscribe to
[00:16:35.300] your favorite podcast player, share the episode link, leave a comment. Your contribution is
[00:16:41.000] greatly appreciated. And if you're listening in and can't see the QR code for donation,
[00:16:46.080] go to tothedesigner.com slash links, and there's instructions to donate up there. Thanks so much.