Does Mental Health Give Ye a Pass? - I Will Not Lose Podcast - #0007

Transcript

[00:00:05.040] yo yo yo good morning good evening good night good afternoon whatever time you're listening in
[00:00:10.760] wherever you're listening from shout out to my spotify listeners apple podcast audible amazon
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[00:00:22.880] youtube thanks for giving me a reason to get dressed you guys are out there i prefer to
[00:00:28.000] listen to my podcast through spotify i'll give them a quick plug but i asked somebody you know
[00:00:33.140] aren't you on spotify i said no if it's not on youtube i can't watch it so uh definitely feel
[00:00:39.420] good about the extra level of production to be able to make this a video as well as an audio
[00:00:44.420] podcast so uh if you appreciate it if you're on youtube i know you're watching drop a comment so
[00:00:49.960] i know you're real coming live from my voice to your phone computer headphones tv car stereo
[00:00:56.100] smartwatch bluetooth speaker you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here listening
[00:01:01.220] to i will not lose podcast right now take a moment be present and recognize that it's now
[00:01:07.760] right now whether you're right now is working running exercising cleaning laying down flying
[00:01:15.740] driving i don't have it on the list let me know what you do when you listen to the podcast i'm
[00:01:21.180] really curious about my listeners you know uh you guys make it real other than that it's just me and
[00:01:26.240] uh, me and my guests here in a basement. So let's be grateful. We're alive. Failure can be
[00:01:33.360] frightening. However, as Winston Churchill reminds us, success is all about going from
[00:01:37.700] failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. This is, I will not lose podcasts. Let's jump
[00:01:43.040] right in. Uh, my second episode did not age well. Um, I was making attempts to defend or at least
[00:01:56.310] empathize with uh yay and then he just went completely off the handles so um a lot of this
[00:02:04.210] conversation i'm not going to give a ton of fuel to it and this is not a news source you guys know
[00:02:10.290] what he said i'm not going to quote it uh not even for fear of copyright but just because i don't
[00:02:14.830] think it should be repeated it's it's really like uh it's really messed up man it's really
[00:02:21.630] messed up when you have alex jones kind of taken aback and saying hey you might want to dial that
[00:02:27.510] back a little bit it's messed up so we'll get into it i'll tell you exactly what happened at least
[00:02:32.570] but i do want to spend some time this podcast talking about mental health um my attempt with
[00:02:39.410] episode two about telling kanye to be impeccable with his words was to paint a picture and not
[00:02:45.570] attack freedom of speech or say that you can't say what you want you know you do have a freedom
[00:02:52.890] of speech protected by our first amendment but there are uh there are amendments to that there
[00:02:59.570] are you know it's not just as cut and dry as you could say whatever you want so it was an attempt
[00:03:04.510] to do that it was an attempt to separate mental health as an excuse because everything is synonymous
[00:03:10.670] with Kanye being bipolar you know um and it's it's a stigma that's real so even myself coming
[00:03:18.930] out publicly as a bipolar I'm not gonna get it right it's one or two uh I'm the one where it's
[00:03:26.670] much longer phases but either way I we got to educate people because to think that mental health
[00:03:34.630] or uh an episode makes you say things there's there's parts of Kanye that are flawed we have
[00:03:40.350] to denounce racism and bigotry in all uh in all forms so before i jump on my soapbox kanye had
[00:03:49.440] went on the info wars podcast uh or television show with alex jones and there were different
[00:03:58.060] highlights and reels i don't think the full interview has been pulled you may be able to
[00:04:02.440] get it at some point but he said amongst other things that he loves jewish people but
[00:04:09.320] yay loves hitler uh alex jones said you know the fashion you know you like the uniforms kind of
[00:04:17.540] gave him a chance to to get out and he comes back and says uh no i i love nazis um i'm not going to
[00:04:28.900] as i said pull it or get the exact quote so i employ you like i do with everything the reason
[00:04:34.680] why i started a long form podcast is do your research look for the full conversation and you
[00:04:40.200] can check the context um that's what i did and it's like wow he said this he means this so a
[00:04:46.900] month ago i'm talking about his spiraling out of control and talking about how it could turn into
[00:04:53.040] and people think i'm crazy for saying that this sort of behavior being normalized or having a
[00:04:59.060] celebrity figure promote anti-semitic thoughts and beliefs could lead to another holocaust
[00:05:04.600] well he sure went death con 3 i know it's not death con it's def con but clearly he didn't
[00:05:13.800] know what it meant he had a different intent with it you know kanye's not the great with his words
[00:05:18.800] and i encourage to be impeccable about it so um i did look listen back to that episode uh there's
[00:05:27.300] nothing i want to denounce i don't think you could defend the man but i i think i want to
[00:05:31.920] double down on the fact that bipolar nazi anti-semitic black man crazy these should not
[00:05:39.760] be synonymous words these should not be something that goes hand in hand with oh if you're bipolar
[00:05:47.420] you must be anti-semitic so i check off a lot of boxes that kanye checks off so for me personally
[00:05:54.260] it's like man do you see you not see what you're doing do you think I don't know that when I come
[00:05:59.780] out publicly as bipolar that that could hurt me professionally that that could change people's
[00:06:06.660] viewpoints of me that that could cause judgments because of a stigma I'm absolutely aware of that
[00:06:12.700] and I create content putting out and promoting education of mental health because I get it
[00:06:23.920] depression anxiety they're cut and dry people can say oh yeah i've talked in front of people i
[00:06:28.900] understand anxiety i can kind of empathize with living your life like that but then they see what
[00:06:34.800] anxiety can really do and cave your chest in and it's like oh wow i had no idea people are dealing
[00:06:40.600] with managing these kinds of emotions and stuff so it's easy we want to simplify things and we
[00:06:45.780] want to say oh well that guy's depressed that guy's anxious but when you get into bipolar it's
[00:06:51.860] So, put it this way, people who are bipolar don't even completely understand bipolar.
[00:06:58.520] And there's documentation and DSM-5 and all sorts of stuff on it.
[00:07:02.380] It varies from person to person.
[00:07:04.240] Your brain is different.
[00:07:05.400] It's a scale.
[00:07:06.640] Episodes are different from people to people.
[00:07:08.620] There's similarities that could be documented, but there's not enough education even for if you have to live with it and it's a life or death situation.
[00:07:18.690] So if I could just take one little piece, why do I come out publicly as having this mental health condition? Because it's one thing I could do towards education and getting it to possibly be normalized where somebody can empathize and not judge to a stigma.
[00:07:36.090] uh you have tv you have depictions of bipolar people as essentially making a choice to be out
[00:07:43.530] of control crazy like don't get me wrong it's scary like you throw on top of that i'm a large
[00:07:49.310] man and i can have an episode in public like that could end fatally not for anyone that i'm attacking
[00:07:57.610] or anything like that because i'm not violent but i could be killed i could be put down and
[00:08:02.470] you know what people looking at the video would just look at the fact that i was appearing erratic
[00:08:07.330] they would jump to all sorts of conclusions on what sort of stuff i was on and they would say
[00:08:11.350] that was a good shoot so uh why do i have to live my life this sort of way and be in a light of
[00:08:20.270] okay well kanye's going off the rails he must be crazy he must do this i'm sick of the comments
[00:08:26.790] and the rhetoric that I'm seeing and then I say wait Tony step back can't be mad at somebody for
[00:08:33.490] not knowing or for stigmatizing or for not saying I want to go along with the ride with you of
[00:08:39.650] promoting or doing this I can completely understand that but there needs to be education
[00:08:49.710] there needs to be somebody giving people a chance so not exactly I was looking for the exact clip
[00:08:57.340] where i said it and if i didn't say it i'll say it again i do not want anti-semitism bigotry
[00:09:02.760] racism and bipolar mental health to be synonymous and that's the path we're headed with so um
[00:09:11.180] should kanye get a pass you know what let's take some time on this when everybody said something
[00:09:22.360] when kanye had made the comments about jewish people controlling the media and having an agenda
[00:09:29.600] to control the black voice and his tyrant that he went on that went viral it caused a you could see
[00:09:36.960] there needed to be education because the conversation became well i don't understand
[00:09:40.800] what was so bad like i would love to control like man black people would love to control the
[00:09:45.500] the media and be rich and do all this stuff and people didn't understand how it could lead so i
[00:09:50.880] did a whole episode about how this could lead to a holocaust and it was somewhat defendable and
[00:09:57.520] everybody had the memes of i stand with yay and yay 2024 and let's not forget about college drop
[00:10:03.500] out and like don't get me wrong man it's one of my favorite albums of all time but we can't take
[00:10:09.220] something that a man did 15 20 years ago and say it gives him a pass to for this sort of behavior
[00:10:14.820] so what sort of passes have i heard that kanye gets a pass for his music which
[00:10:21.200] at least his music is that good that people think that it can give a pass for
[00:10:28.160] anti-semitic races bigotry but um hey i get it uh pass for being black um this is such a weird one
[00:10:40.840] and i'm not going to have this conversation alone i'd be happy to invite anybody on the podcast to
[00:10:46.820] have a conversation about it but it's weird when you get into things where you know saying a word
[00:10:53.360] from one race versus saying it from another race has different meaning and intent you get a pass
[00:10:58.500] towards saying it um there's almost a thing of you know and if you check back on my episode i'm
[00:11:05.260] very careful i am not a master on jewish culture i wasn't raised around jewish people i have a
[00:11:12.440] certain reservation to speak on it as though i know i'm willing to be educated but if for the
[00:11:19.040] chance that somebody looks at me as a voice of reason and says hey i want to hear understand the
[00:11:24.220] way he does i have to only share my perspective and come with the disclaimer that people need to
[00:11:28.780] do their own research and don't put me on a pedestal i'm not a you know um not an icon or
[00:11:35.000] anything like that excuse me i would say all right so without deep diving into whether or not
[00:11:50.370] race should give you the option to talk about other races or talk about your own race
[00:11:56.150] um it's it's weird it's a touchy subject it's just something that goes i mean you have the
[00:12:01.910] n-word and then you have somebody like drake who believe half black doesn't look traditionally
[00:12:07.770] african um and is i believe half jewish surprised this hasn't been brought into the conversation
[00:12:15.070] but yeah i mean he lets the m word fly all the time on music and it's like well he's doing it
[00:12:22.510] in context it's it goes with the culture so it's a strange conversation and not one that i'm it's
[00:12:28.490] one i'm gonna end right here and have when we can deep dive into it i don't like just my thoughts
[00:12:34.470] on something uh so like controversial that could be broken down or that i could be educated on
[00:12:40.790] myself. So does he get a pass for being bipolar and manic? This is where we're going to spend
[00:12:47.400] some time now. Absolutely not. That's my feeling. But that is also coming from somebody who feels
[00:12:56.780] accountable for all of the mistakes, if you want to call it, that I made. When you are in an
[00:13:03.420] episode, you may not even know you're in an episode. It takes a lot of work to be able to
[00:13:10.100] recognize you know you're just dealing with emotion think about when you're in an argument
[00:13:14.760] with somebody and you just start throwing the worst things at them because you just want to
[00:13:18.940] hurt them you're not thinking about all the consequences and how your words can hang you're
[00:13:23.600] just playing off emotion so try to imagine riding that roller coaster of okay i'm just feeding into
[00:13:29.600] emotion but right now mine makes me want to absolutely scream i feel uncomfortable with
[00:13:34.860] myself i want to run really fast um these are some that that come out with me but i if i get
[00:13:44.240] into legal trouble because i'm in an episode i have to accept that legal trouble and i take
[00:13:50.520] so many steps i did a whole 10 minute monologue uh before i decided to get into podcasting full
[00:14:00.200] time and um i did my best to explain my experience with bipolar and mania and you know what it what
[00:14:10.200] did it hurt me professionally i guess i'll never know because people who will judge me or not do
[00:14:14.920] business because of something look i get it that's your prerogative if you think that i'm erratic or
[00:14:19.520] irrational but i guarantee you that if i didn't come out as bipolar you would never know because
[00:14:24.960] I am actively taking medication. I'm actively going to therapy. I'm actively journaling my
[00:14:30.760] behavior. I'm literally wearing a smartwatch right now, not because I care what time it is,
[00:14:35.680] but because it needs to track my steps. It needs to let me know if my heart rate is going crazy
[00:14:41.200] or anything. I mean, it's nuts what technology can tell you before you actually feel it.
[00:14:45.980] So if I'm going to go through all these steps and take it in order to be accountable,
[00:14:50.000] just for the simple fact that i might be on low sleep be having a bad day and want to run out of
[00:14:55.280] my house because i'm unmedicated and yeah i didn't want to take the medicine and it's not like i just
[00:15:02.680] didn't take it that day but i'm actively not taking medicine for a long time it takes a long
[00:15:07.300] time for these drugs to build up in your system and it takes a long time to get it right god bless
[00:15:12.440] you if your first medicine got you stable. Um, it just doesn't happen. It's the brain,
[00:15:20.530] it's the human brain. Give these doctors some credit. And you go back and see me when I was
[00:15:24.890] 19, I was not a fan of doctors or the whole field in general, but you know what? They are working
[00:15:31.930] with one of the most intricate and complex things known to man. And I don't know, give them a pass
[00:15:40.760] if anything so kanye is openly admittedly not under any sort of medication or therapy
[00:15:48.020] is clinically diagnosed as bipolar and i don't know if he's said he's in a manic episode uh nobody
[00:15:55.580] first off you can't just like it's extremely hard for a mental health professional to
[00:16:06.730] diagnose it's easy for anybody i mean kanye's not a dumb man he could very easily be googling the
[00:16:14.230] symptoms of something and acting out because he knows it's a conversation i'm not going to put
[00:16:18.410] that past him i'm not going to put past that although he may have deeply rooted beliefs he
[00:16:24.050] may have known what he was going to spark up doing this he's actively knows how to stay in
[00:16:28.610] the conversation on the internet i shouldn't be doing another podcast about him or giving him any
[00:16:33.630] attention after this last stunt but you know what i can't say what's going to happen in a week or
[00:16:38.130] two so we'll see but you have an active duty to respond you have a responsibility to society just
[00:16:47.110] in the way that a vet coming back from war has to take steps in order to re-acclimate to society
[00:16:56.690] this is a real thing mental health is a real thing and people don't have the resources you
[00:17:02.190] see the vet problem that we have i'm not a uh expert on that but i know somebody who uh does
[00:17:08.890] actively work with vets who is a vet herself i'm gonna invite my uh my cousin i'm she doesn't know
[00:17:15.890] this this is i'm just coming to me right now so i'm gonna ask her before i put her name out there
[00:17:20.330] but that'd be really cool to have a conversation and bring some awareness to mental health when it
[00:17:25.330] comes to veterans so if you have an active duty and you're still held liable i mean you if you
[00:17:34.820] go through the military and you're trained in combat and this is going to be controversial but
[00:17:41.050] you can be good at being a killer you can have a psychopathic wiring in your brain have less
[00:17:49.420] empathy, less hesitation, time to kill, insanely focused on a mission, whereas a normal wired brain
[00:17:57.960] doesn't work under those conditions. Let's not ignore violence in the world and try to pretend
[00:18:05.580] like, I get it, I'm all for peace and I'm not violent, but violence does exist and we are a
[00:18:12.840] species that has been born so psychopathics played a large part in our evolution there
[00:18:21.420] if i would say like a societally necessary uh no that's not i don't want to say necessary but they
[00:18:28.420] significant there you go they're significant they add something to the experiment of sociology
[00:18:34.380] so if you think about uh and i'll go into this in general but nice segue like i believe
[00:18:43.260] that adhd if i hate the word disorder or disease because that just means that less people have it
[00:18:53.110] just means that it's not the majority minority doesn't always mean wrong so when you have
[00:18:58.370] something like uh the smaller percentage of it it just um which i think like it kind of skews the
[00:19:08.740] numbers um but i think that we would have never left the caves i don't think we would have ever
[00:19:16.610] ventured out i think that an add mind doesn't get complacent and i don't have adhd my
[00:19:24.170] uh qualification to speak on it is i am around most of my close contacts and work professionals
[00:19:34.220] are diagnosed um yeah don't mean to put you out there but trust me people having adhd is
[00:19:45.240] the stigma i don't think is as bad as bipolar schizophrenia things like that not to
[00:19:51.030] compare or do anything like that but so how do we educate how do we let people know the work that
[00:19:58.910] has to go how do you you know support someone who is going through that and even know that no matter
[00:20:05.070] If you take all those steps, and I just got to be a realist right now, even though I take medicine, go to therapy, exercise, do all the stuff that you're supposed to do, check off all the boxes, I can still have an episode at any given time.
[00:20:17.990] That's just the reality of the disease.
[00:20:21.110] My brain could rebel against the medicine.
[00:20:23.090] The medicine could stop working.
[00:20:24.810] It's working right now, and that's why I'm constantly tacking and changing course to make sure that, you know, just making little adjustments to stuff.
[00:20:33.410] It's what you have to do.
[00:20:34.390] let's give credit to people who are putting that sort of work in because you have that
[00:20:40.450] responsibility as a society so now the question is does mania or bipolar make you go off and say
[00:20:48.970] i love hitler um let's really think about this there's thoughts of grandeur there's like and
[00:20:56.620] people don't understand what that means thoughts of grandeur is not so much like okay i want a
[00:21:01.820] louis vuitton and stuff like that's that's a form of it but the grandiosity thought i'm sorry that
[00:21:07.460] is thoughts of grandeur the grandiose thoughts or whatever the dsm-5 has it like when you start
[00:21:12.880] thinking world changing world like you want to change the world um and you have the energy to
[00:21:21.340] do it right now that's like sort of uh manic behavior so um if he is in a state he's been in
[00:21:30.600] there for a long time and at this point would need hospitalization you can't just uh like get
[00:21:36.580] yourself out of mania it does require hospitalization usually so um until he wants to get that help he's
[00:21:44.900] not going to get it um give me a second give me a second so i have people asking what it's like to
[00:21:57.680] be manic and i will get personal here and share some of my own experience but just know this is
[00:22:05.380] my experience and this is not diagnoses if you think you have symptoms like this talk to a
[00:22:13.140] professional don't go on the internet and try to diagnose yourself you know that's that's never a
[00:22:19.520] good idea but even if you're even if you are bipolar and you're educated on what mania is
[00:22:30.600] you could be in it and not know you slipped into it so it's a scary reality that i always deal with
[00:22:36.880] um there are some pleasurable parts of it um i mean you're essentially stuck happy so it's not
[00:22:45.520] like uh normal happy like yeah i just won something and and to be honest i will i'll go out there and
[00:22:52.280] say i don't know what normal happy is you know i've always experienced things at extremes being
[00:22:57.160] bipolar but i do know that um you just be excited about life about yourself okay we'll put it this
[00:23:09.380] way a good quote that i saw on reddit somebody had said hypomania which is like a smaller form
[00:23:16.040] of mania people don't know about um doesn't last as long isn't as intense that hypomania makes you
[00:23:23.860] feel like you're hang on a second i don't want to mess the quote up yeah i'm gonna drop that
[00:23:34.360] all right i'll just wing it pretty much essentially says hypomania feels like i have godlike powers
[00:23:40.280] mania is i am god um that's not like like that's coming from a completely god complex
[00:23:49.190] egocentric type thing like you think you're super smart you you really like it would explain a lot
[00:23:55.110] of uh the ego in general i don't know that i've ever experienced an ego as large as kanye
[00:24:02.070] but when you have something like uh i heard this from bill burr's monologue and bill burr go and
[00:24:08.750] look it up because he can make it funny uh this clip didn't age well but he says my only regret
[00:24:14.730] and this is a quote from kanye my only regret is that i will never get to see myself perform live
[00:24:19.850] holy shit but bill burr goes on and says you take an ego like that and you put in a white man and
[00:24:28.480] he starts yelling in german obviously mimicking adolf and it's just like wow that was i forget
[00:24:37.300] when the clip was but it wasn't recent so this is something we've seen coming this isn't super
[00:24:43.900] shocking uh it's following a playbook like i said of like a donald trump or somebody and especially
[00:24:49.560] when he's running for president and is extremely you know attracted to other men with large egos
[00:24:56.280] um this is just this is what you get so will he admit or want he needs help i don't know
[00:25:07.640] can't do it, can't help him, can't really put any energy towards it. I've switched gears and it's
[00:25:13.780] really just going to be about educating people. See, the reason why I try to empathize with people
[00:25:18.760] with ADHD or with different mental health or just different mentalities than my own,
[00:25:25.080] mental health is an oxymoronic thing because it's like I'm mentally healthy because I'm medicated,
[00:25:33.810] But yet I have a disease that makes me unhealthy.
[00:25:37.350] So I don't know what that means, but that's my rant on mental health.
[00:25:42.770] I got to educate people at the sake of or at the risk of committing professional suicide or societal or what people judge me, whatever my network.
[00:25:56.190] I speak out on this stuff.
[00:25:58.750] And my only qualification is that I live with it and have experience and will live with it forever.
[00:26:04.690] I don't have a psychology degree or anything, but I promise you if things kick off and I didn't have to worry about the daily grind, I would go and get educated in psychology and I would enter the field of being like a counselor or a therapist only because I think it's lacking in the, I think there just needs to be, there needs to be therapists.
[00:26:25.310] I think it's something I could be good at. But how until I can take off four years and go to school or whatever it takes or work full time while going to school and drop the podcast and run the business for right now, I'm just going to continue to put out education and stand as an example of, oh, wow, that guy seems like he kind of got it together.
[00:26:46.440] He's bipolar. You sure? You sure he's bipolar? I think he's just going with the trend. That's the best ever thing. You know, mental health is trending so much that I think it's a good thing. I'm okay with people claiming that they have mental health just because it would get them some sort of publicity or something like that. But that's not my case. That's not why I do it.
[00:27:07.600] I think it's still a little bit early but it does push the conversation more and more
[00:27:12.220] so people are starting to get educated people will listen to this podcast and say oh wow it's not just
[00:27:18.280] somebody's out of control somebody freaks out or somebody has multiple personalities that's the
[00:27:23.320] other thing people oh bipolar by two yeah that must mean that you have two personalities yeah
[00:27:29.880] so you're like a doctor and a latin professional and science mania i get it but anyway so we will
[00:27:38.760] continue this battle to not make mental health synonymous with racism bigotry or anything like
[00:27:45.620] that um somebody who did a great job of pulling it all together was uh dave chappelle in the snl
[00:27:55.700] monologue that he did he you know go and look it up i'm not even going to quote uh i can't quote
[00:28:01.860] the greatest one of the greatest speakers we have in our generation and quite possibly in a long time
[00:28:08.600] you know this man um essentially shows kanye how to do it and says the same thing but he's just a
[00:28:16.340] little more craftful with his words didn't offend anybody didn't get canceled but he goes and he
[00:28:21.200] says something that kanye got so much trouble that kairi got in trouble and did speak a little bit
[00:28:28.040] about uh what happened with kairi it just seems like this is anti-semitism is trending man it's
[00:28:34.040] crazy but it has to become a teachable moment i used it to speak with my kids and see if they
[00:28:40.140] understand why this stuff is dangerous you know um but yay yay can't articulate the greatest he
[00:28:50.110] i forget who quoted it but they said he should have just made a song like people would have
[00:28:55.350] listened to it and he could have got a message away i mean he he used to do that and put
[00:28:59.630] things but now we have him just essentially going on podcasts and ranting and anybody who's taking
[00:29:06.230] him especially at this point anybody who would take him on trying to be the next viral clip uh
[00:29:11.870] it's just it's just no good but then again people are gonna flame me for even talking about him for
[00:29:18.170] 10 15 20 minutes i don't know how long we've been going but um yeah it's it's got to turn into a
[00:29:25.150] teaching moment i will not lose stories of success learn from failure there can be a success the
[00:29:31.850] success doesn't have to always be right now but we have to have a positive outlook so you know
[00:29:37.950] people are saying where does he go from here what happens and it's they're all scary all of the
[00:29:44.690] options that people are thinking for where he goes from here are scary even if they say he's
[00:29:49.190] going to disappear for a few years and come back as a born-again christian guys he he already did
[00:29:54.050] that he's already been doing the sunday service he's been you know religion has been a big part
[00:29:59.130] of his branding for a long time so i don't know maybe he has that card maybe college dropout will
[00:30:07.830] age so well that this this music people 20 years later will care about it i don't know i it's
[00:30:14.790] i'm like at a loss it's so weird but you know as to quote yay we need to forget history it's
[00:30:25.270] subjective we need to move forward okay so how about don't worship or idolize a historically
[00:30:33.090] significant figure. I don't know. Give me a second. Let me look and see. So we're at 30 minutes.
[00:30:43.580] For the sake of consistency, I'm going to start bringing it to a close. One conversation that I
[00:30:49.580] want to have is empathizing with introverts. So I like to treat others how I like to be treated
[00:30:56.180] and empathize with mentalities other than my own. And it brought a conversation up. I was listening
[00:31:01.920] to empower 610 they dropped their podcast um i don't know this week it doesn't matter it's live
[00:31:08.400] now by the time you're listening to this you can go on youtube and look up um empower 610's podcast
[00:31:14.720] damn it what's the name of their what's the name of it give me one second empower 610 on youtube
[00:31:28.190] yeah you can just search empower 610 your network is your net worth so they were talking about
[00:31:33.470] networking and one of the hosts shout out to nice jones comes out as a introvert people know if you
[00:31:40.080] know but he's coming out publicly shout out to that and lewis kind or lbj says wow um you have
[00:31:48.240] a podcast how are you an introvert and you know shout out to those guys putting in the work because
[00:31:53.600] it kept the conversation going like all great podcasts should and i'm having a conversation
[00:31:58.400] with my mom who's an introvert and I'm saying would you ever go on to a podcast you know she
[00:32:04.640] was like no absolutely not but then she said maybe the fact that there's no audience would
[00:32:09.680] lend better to being able to podcast I said wow um I'm curious so I text uh nice and I was asking
[00:32:19.700] him hey do you like how does it feel do you know is you in your uncomfortable zone and he pretty
[00:32:26.040] much just said yeah it's uncomfortable but you shape your life about what you want to do he's a
[00:32:30.880] professor public speaker i mean this is why people are so surprised that he's an introvert he's all
[00:32:37.060] over social media has a huge following and it's like wow but he decided where he wanted to be in
[00:32:42.280] his life and he said i'm i've got to be uncomfortable through these things but these
[00:32:46.680] are things that i have to do so big shout out to nice big shout out to lbj big shout out to
[00:32:52.220] empower 610 podcast really excited to see what these guys got going on so go ahead and check
[00:32:58.400] out what they uh what they got going on and i will um i hate to say it like this because it's
[00:33:07.400] a human but i'll get me an introvert i'll find an introvert to come on the podcast um or i'll
[00:33:12.780] at least start asking people if they identify as introvert because i'd like to have the conversation
[00:33:17.880] and see what the differences are like i know introverts like to spend time alone to recharge
[00:33:26.340] and meditate be in nature things like that i need to do that too i just need to do it much less
[00:33:32.320] if i am by myself for too long i definitely start to feel uncomfortable so i think it's just the fact
[00:33:39.360] of whether or not you're energized when you're around people or not you know uh some of my most
[00:33:45.620] energetic days i have four or five meetings a networking mixer in the evening and i'm literally
[00:33:51.180] going and going from seven in the morning till seven eight at night and then getting to my
[00:33:58.340] computer to check email and things like this and you know you just find yourself energized i find
[00:34:05.260] myself energized right before i go to check you'd think at the end of meeting people and talking
[00:34:09.680] with people all day you'd be sapped and when i talk to introverts they say i'm sapped after
[00:34:13.940] talking to you but yeah really curious let's keep this uh this going one of the things i'm going to
[00:34:23.440] be doing towards the end of the year towards the new years is taking a look back at the content
[00:34:28.080] we created so far the goal was consistency so there's something you want to see more production
[00:34:34.760] style more visuals you know let me know i'm open to it um but part of this was the the goal was to
[00:34:42.460] be consistent so it's not to make perfect banger episodes every time i have no idea what's going on
[00:34:49.760] in terms of what we talk about i put out in the beginning episode what i wanted to talk about
[00:34:55.520] i know we've strayed just a little bit and that's because of uh realizations you know you put a
[00:35:00.740] strategy you put a plan together and then you get punched in the face you're like okay we gotta
[00:35:04.760] change a little bit you know um right now the podcast can hold two mics so if i were to have
[00:35:12.440] two guests one of them wouldn't be miked up or we'd have to rig something up and split a cable
[00:35:17.540] it just it wouldn't be ideal so there's things we need to do to set ourselves up for growth
[00:35:23.860] and it's all part of the plan you know four-person podcasts would be great i don't see need for more
[00:35:29.700] mics than that. But hey, maybe eight. We'll have a party sometime. Who knows? But there's decisions
[00:35:37.480] that I'm making. And I think in order to learn from my own failures, I got to go back, take a
[00:35:44.020] listen to things, see where we can improve. It's something I try to do on a weekly basis. But I
[00:35:49.700] think in the spirit of New Year's coming up, really taking a look. So I'll do a deep dive on
[00:35:54.920] what decisions we made with the podcast and I'll just be completely transparent with you guys
[00:36:00.180] why is it a marble background why is there two mics face why is there only one camera
[00:36:06.280] you know these were all decisions that I came before I decided to jump into this and
[00:36:10.640] I jumped in well before I was ready it's uh you go back I'll tell you now because I like learning
[00:36:17.320] from failure go back and listen to that first episode with Gil Thompson promoting his writing
[00:36:23.580] to heal album we got the fire alarm going off in the back i'm stopping to cough like i woke up that
[00:36:29.880] morning i completely flipped everything ready to have my first guest i was i don't i didn't have
[00:36:36.980] covid but i was sick i'm nasally you listen to that recording everything told me i should not do
[00:36:43.220] this and i was getting ready to really cancel and i say right in the beginning of the episode part
[00:36:48.160] of the reason we built it not not part of the reason the reason we built this because i wanted
[00:36:52.620] to promote the album and I wanted to do it in a professional setting. And I said, might as well
[00:36:56.200] get a podcast out of it. And I'm so glad that we made that step and that we put everything together
[00:37:01.560] because this is therapeutic for me. I love doing it. Feedback has been great. So not only that,
[00:37:08.280] but you can promote things within your network. So I know I put that on my mission statement or
[00:37:15.640] description somewhere. Maybe it's on my ACAST. Somewhere it says, I did this to promote people
[00:37:20.940] in my network and their endeavors and these stories that need to be told. So this was never
[00:37:25.820] an I thing. This was never a me, Tony Ortiz thing. The goal was to have that second mic there and
[00:37:33.260] figured if I'm going to have one mic at all, set it up for at least two. You don't have to start
[00:37:38.460] with four, but set it up for at least two. And I do little things like the naming of the podcast
[00:37:45.020] is not episode one, it's episode 0001. Why? Why not 01? Why not 001? Because I can keep that
[00:37:55.900] format for 999 episodes before I have to change the format. When I thought about consistency and
[00:38:04.340] how to be able to take my already hectic life and promote and create 25 to an hour's worth of
[00:38:12.480] content every week consistently that's the goal so that's what really sits at the top
[00:38:20.630] and in the effort of consistency i am going over my time of what's normal so we'll slowly extend
[00:38:27.940] the show longer and longer as we get it perfect for the perfect audience but no need to mess with
[00:38:33.420] retention or keep people droning for a ton of time if you're just joining we got about six or
[00:38:40.000] seven episodes. This is episode seven. So you can go back and at least spend the next three or four
[00:38:45.080] hours and binge watch the podcast up to now. I'm going to keep doing this and it's going to get to
[00:38:49.820] the point where it will be unbingeable because there's just so much content out there. So we
[00:38:55.840] locked in the first ever episode for life, for the future, for the history of recorded internet
[00:39:02.420] with a fire alarm going off, me coughing and me being sick. But you know what? I think it's some
[00:39:07.700] of the most raw so much good content came out of it it created such a discussion online and this
[00:39:14.400] was a first episode with no audience at all this created the audience so damn man big shout out
[00:39:21.860] uh let's see this is i will not lose podcast stories of successes learned from failure
[00:39:30.420] to support this show visit the website shows.acast.com slash i will not lose and subscribe
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[00:39:43.620] me a text hey tone that was a dope episode whatever you got to do your contribution is
[00:39:49.380] appreciated thank you for listening