Beyond the Crash: Ryan's Story of Recovery, Resilience, and Redemption - I Will Not Lose Podcast - #0025

Transcript

[00:00:04.590] Good morning. Good evening. Good night. Good afternoon. This is I Will Not Lose Podcast with Tony Ortiz. We have a special guest in the building today. I'm here joined by Ryan. You're in for a good one. So let's get the paperwork out of the way.
[00:00:19.090] shout out to my spotify listeners apple podcasts google podcast stitcher and youtube this is one
[00:00:25.710] you definitely want to watch in thanks for giving a reason to get dressed coming live from my voice
[00:00:31.230] to your phone computer headphones tv car stereo smartwatch could have been anywhere in the world
[00:00:37.190] but we are here right now we're here ryan about to do this let's take a moment let's take a moment
[00:00:44.370] to be present and recognize that it's now, right now. Whether you're right now is working, running,
[00:00:49.230] exercising, cleaning, laying down. Let's be grateful we're alive. Failure can be frightening.
[00:00:54.810] However, as Winston Churchill has reminded us, success is all about going from failure to failure
[00:00:59.870] without losing enthusiasm. This is I Will Not Lose podcast where we set out to prove that everything
[00:01:05.030] is learned from failure and we must persevere and recognize that we are one step closer to success.
[00:01:12.010] i'm your host tony ortiz we're gonna jump right in man we got a very special guest ryan with us
[00:01:18.360] here today uh he's agreed to come on have a conversation with me uh we have a special
[00:01:24.640] relationship but there's things we don't know about each other and um i thought this would be a
[00:01:30.180] pretty cool platform to get into it so i'll allow you to introduce yourself tell people a little bit
[00:01:36.160] about what you are who you are and we'll go from there all right yeah i'm uh i'm ryan um
[00:01:42.300] so i grew up around the redding area i moved up here a couple years ago um recently i've been
[00:01:51.070] a direct support professional i help men with with uh disabilities and just issues mental health
[00:01:58.460] issues and stuff like that um i live in the bryanixville area though but i'm uh yeah i'm uh
[00:02:06.920] So I'm here to pretty much talk about my recovery.
[00:02:10.300] I've been 17 months sober now.
[00:02:13.480] Big shout out, man.
[00:02:14.680] I'm going to actually throw some air horns in there.
[00:02:17.040] Bing, bing, bing, bing.
[00:02:20.250] Oh, congratulations, man.
[00:02:22.270] Thanks, man.
[00:02:23.090] Thanks.
[00:02:24.510] Just one day is a big accomplishment, but you got 17 months, man.
[00:02:28.150] It gets easier, man.
[00:02:29.490] It does.
[00:02:30.350] It does.
[00:02:30.850] It's gotten easier over time.
[00:02:33.290] And so I guess I'll dive into it.
[00:02:36.060] Um, the reason I came on here, I wanted to talk about this is cause I feel like my story
[00:02:40.840] can really help somebody.
[00:02:42.620] And I want, I want people to know that you're not alone.
[00:02:46.520] You know, that addiction and alcoholism, um, can really, really mess you up.
[00:02:52.290] And, uh, I've become a whole new person.
[00:02:55.700] Like I care about people, love people.
[00:02:58.760] Um, 17 months, 18 months ago, I didn't, I was a victim.
[00:03:02.100] I felt so bad for myself, but, uh, yeah, I'll kind of get down to it.
[00:03:06.960] Um, I grew up in a Oli Valley, uh, it's like a country town outside Redding.
[00:03:13.750] And, uh, anyway, I'll fast forward.
[00:03:17.250] I grew up in a house where alcohol was kind of available, you know, and, um, it's, it's
[00:03:22.630] not, has nothing to do with my parents, you know, like that's what they're used to.
[00:03:27.300] They did a really good job raising me.
[00:03:28.640] I didn't need for anything.
[00:03:30.160] I didn't, you know, and, uh, eventually let's just get to the bad part.
[00:03:36.160] um because i would rather talk about my recovery than my life but what happened is um so i had a
[00:03:46.240] beautiful daughter three months old she's she's still alive had is a bad way to start i'm sorry
[00:03:52.690] to uh um my addiction and my my alcoholism really got real bad about two years ago it's always been
[00:04:02.960] a thing ever since i was 18 though you know there was there was the college party phase there was
[00:04:08.240] the first time I smoked and, and I just wanted more and more and more and just wanted to
[00:04:13.120] not think about anything. Um, and, uh, eventually I, uh, got into a car accident
[00:04:21.560] with my daughter in the car. Yeah. She cracked her skull, um, concussion. But, uh, I remember
[00:04:30.930] waking up cause I was blacked out and, um, I woke up and I saw this whole, you know, I was told,
[00:04:38.490] i remember seeing my dad and be like i think i really messed up you know i was under all sorts
[00:04:43.510] of different things i didn't even know i drove that's just how powerful alcohol and drugs can be
[00:04:48.390] you know geez and uh you know this three little three old three-year-old little girl you know
[00:04:54.870] that uh depended on me and everything and i wake i wake up i tell my dad i think i i think i did
[00:05:03.480] something really bad. And he told me that Kay is in a coma. Um, her skull is cracked and that she's
[00:05:10.000] just not doing well. And, uh, I remember just, that was the lowest of my life right there. I was
[00:05:16.970] at a crossroads, you know, I was like, do I want, do I want to keep going? Or, you know, I was at a
[00:05:24.970] crossroads and, uh, um, cause you know, you battle it for so long. I remember just drinking and
[00:05:32.190] drugging for so long and just being like, I want to stop. I really want to stop. That's after the
[00:05:38.550] bender. That's after the bad night of partying. I need to stop doing this. And then the evening
[00:05:43.150] comes and I'm right back at it again. Something would happen in my mind that just something
[00:05:49.620] happened that I couldn't stop. And I didn't know how to get help for it until something really bad
[00:05:55.880] had to happen. So, um, she, uh, she ended up waking up, you know, and being in pretty rough
[00:06:06.570] shape. And, uh, she had to go to a rehab, you know, physical rehab therapy for months. And then
[00:06:15.590] she had to wear a helmet and, um, by God's grace, man, she's doing amazing, you know, but it took
[00:06:25.900] a lot man i remember the first time i went in to see her um you know i broke my leg and broke my
[00:06:32.960] ribs and had a concussion i was a mess too but yeah you know it was a shit yeah i'm sure you
[00:06:40.190] probably wished for worse oh yeah yeah yeah oh man it ended up being a blessing to have my leg
[00:06:47.310] broken though because i had to had to sit and be myself i had to sit with my thoughts i had
[00:06:54.130] which is like a battleground bro you know it was a battleground for a long time but eventually
[00:06:59.150] it really uh like i said i think it was a blessing for me to be there this was the biggest craziest
[00:07:07.230] thing that ever happened my daughter she's doing great now how old is she now four of four and i'm
[00:07:13.790] actually going to start getting supervised visitations with her again soon so thanks for
[00:07:18.910] that man yeah man it's awesome it's you know i have a really bad time i get self-righteous
[00:07:25.030] sometimes and i really want it now you know like she's my daughter yeah right and i get resentful
[00:07:30.690] towards other people that are not allowing this to happen but i have to remember that they these
[00:07:36.410] people saw her you know in a hospital bed tubes hooked up to her and they had to pretty much help
[00:07:44.290] her until then they're gonna have a resentment towards me they're gonna be scared to let me see
[00:07:48.190] them and it was hard dude it's still because you know i'm the man i'm that's my daughter yeah you
[00:07:53.170] you did all this yeah you've earned it right right yeah and uh yeah oh man so what's going on with
[00:08:01.430] the supervised visitation you just see her every other week for one hour and when i first heard
[00:08:07.590] that i was mad you know i was mad about it uh but that's another thing i gotta humble myself man
[00:08:15.080] and be like okay like i know what i did and i have to i have to accept that but um she's doing good
[00:08:24.570] but i'll start talking about my journey a little bit um yeah please i uh went home after a month
[00:08:33.910] in in rehab in the not not rehab not like you know drug and alcohol rehab yeah therapy therapy
[00:08:41.050] yeah and i went home and i was by myself in my house and the house was i also have a stepdaughter
[00:08:48.360] which i don't see much anymore now either she lived with me and you know you go home and you
[00:08:56.010] have two little girls rooms empty it was like i said it was a mental battlefield bro and i was so
[00:09:03.290] alone um and all i know how to do to when i'm feeling sad when i'm feeling angry was to do
[00:09:12.540] drugs or drink because that's just how I've handled things. That's almost how I was taught
[00:09:17.040] to handle things. And, uh, I started asking for help, man. I, I asked first thing I actually
[00:09:24.320] asked for a social worker and she came out and she sat down and she's like, have you, uh,
[00:09:31.000] have you considered getting help for your addiction? And so I started going on, on these
[00:09:35.680] meetings um reaching out to people um people that have experienced alcoholism and addiction
[00:09:44.390] and they loved me you know when i couldn't love myself i mean i was so down and out man like
[00:09:52.480] you know my mom and my dad they were always going to be there for me and stuff but
[00:09:57.020] my family and towards the end my friends were all people that drank and drugged like me too so
[00:10:02.610] right they weren't really there and i don't know that i wanted them there either
[00:10:06.750] but i mean i would i hope they're doing well but uh these people that i found this fellowship of
[00:10:16.140] people helped me out um they loved me man and i started going and being with them and um i just
[00:10:27.560] i just started to uh i mean take a second man yeah uh it was hard it was it was the hardest
[00:10:40.480] thing but like i said i think me being stuck in the house with a broken leg i couldn't do nothing
[00:10:47.430] you know i had to sit there and uh i started going to these meetings should i just say it's a.a
[00:10:56.570] i'm sure i'm sure people can yeah put together but that's fine yeah all right yeah so i started
[00:11:04.920] going to AA. Um, and, uh, I just one day at a time, man, just stayed sober one day at a time.
[00:11:13.330] I started learning new things about myself, dug deeper into my problems. Um, I, uh, it was just
[00:11:21.690] crazy, man. Cause I, when I was drinking and drugging, I was a very egotistical pride, too
[00:11:26.730] much pride and, uh, self-righteous. Like I never wanted to be wrong. Um, and there's so many of
[00:11:33.990] these these underlying issues for me i think made me drink as well like uh insecurities um
[00:11:44.680] eventually i got sober sorry i'm fucking up fucking up how yeah there's no you're good man
[00:11:58.750] all right you're good um yeah so uh i didn't see my daughter for a long time until recently
[00:12:07.810] i'm going to start seeing her on april 7th at 11 a.m the first time i see her that's about
[00:12:14.840] three weeks from now right time of recording oh man that's so awesome yeah yeah man i'm i'm super
[00:12:22.520] excited um but back with my recovery you know it was one day at a time really um my uh i ended up
[00:12:37.090] getting a sponsor and talking with him doing uh called him every single day at noon and this guy
[00:12:46.550] was so cool like i just you know i talked to him about life and um sobriety sobriety yeah i'm
[00:13:01.180] drawing a blank here man listen let me just let me let me pause you for a second what you're doing
[00:13:06.720] is so unbelievably brave it's so unbelievably selfless you don't have anything to gain like
[00:13:15.090] this is all for someone going through this someone who imagine if you heard a podcast and was like
[00:13:22.530] wow there's some place i can get help before things got worse so congratulations to you
[00:13:31.870] like and your bravery to be able to do that you don't want to we stop at any time but there's no
[00:13:38.130] you're not given a speech i just want to remind you where you are you're in your friend's basement
[00:13:43.810] right you know yeah like yeah i really just want to be able to come here and like tell people
[00:13:49.870] dude that i if i would have heard a story similar to mine maybe before my accident maybe it would
[00:13:57.400] have really rung a bell with me or something and maybe it wouldn't have but i just you know i want
[00:14:04.670] people to know that, you know, you can get help and you don't have to live like that every day.
[00:14:10.710] And, uh, you know, I never realized how bad it was while I was in it because I was so used to it,
[00:14:18.490] but yeah, my whole perspective on everything changed. Like I said, one of the first things
[00:14:26.930] I said, I was like, I love people now. Like I can see them for what, you know, like,
[00:14:33.530] like there's people that i've met and so at six months of sobriety i got a job and i went into
[00:14:40.390] the real world when i say the real world i was so used to talking to these people and that are
[00:14:46.570] you know spiritual and and like loving and i felt like that was real life almost
[00:14:53.260] i'm like that's funny yeah it's misleading yeah so you got a taste of the real world then
[00:15:03.820] yeah six months in yeah i still on crutches and i got a job at a gas station right and uh
[00:15:10.860] i needed to get out and do something you know i i snapped my femur in half so yeah i got a steel
[00:15:19.530] rod in there now and the doctor told me that i'm not going to be able to shoot jump shots anymore
[00:15:25.290] little does he know i've i was shooting last night bro
[00:15:28.920] yeah i was probably like two for 20 but it's all good we'll work on that doctors love to tell you
[00:15:37.480] what you're not going to be able to do for how long you're not going to be able to do it i mean
[00:15:40.540] big shout out i know doctors they're not all terrible but yeah i i personally don't listen
[00:15:47.460] to what they say when it comes to sports right they're just trying to yeah i said i listened to
[00:15:55.460] what the trainer says i sit 20 minutes on and off i don't know if you can do that with a broken
[00:15:59.260] femur i don't know man it's it's it's uh i definitely noticed i got two pins in my knee too
[00:16:05.840] but uh i'm so lazy i didn't i didn't like go to physical therapy i didn't like i had a physical
[00:16:14.460] therapist coming out every week at that time and he would give me like you come to my house
[00:16:22.440] show me these papers he's like do this this and this i'm like yeah yeah yeah and then i never did
[00:16:26.960] any of it and then i'm wondering why like my leg was messed up for a while but now i'm getting it
[00:16:33.080] back i've been going to the gym that's another thing um i never was an exercise guy i played
[00:16:38.660] sports when i was a kid i played basketball i was the fat kid that played basketball i was like a
[00:16:42.740] zach randolph you know what i mean like i was all boxed out i was all power post moves and and then
[00:16:49.260] i would get so resentful man towards the the coach because they make us run and i'm like you're
[00:16:53.960] taking away the one good thing i'm at yeah right put me in for five minutes bro that's great oh man
[00:17:02.820] but uh no you were telling me a bit in pre-show you lost some weight recently yeah 35 pounds i'm
[00:17:09.870] at now oh man and yo you hooked me up with those smoothies bro that does work for you yeah i've
[00:17:16.370] been substituting that i do i was every time i'm packing the spinach in the top i think of you like
[00:17:21.950] shove as much as you can oh man shout out to the random post i read that on that always stuck for
[00:17:27.670] me too i yep you gotta pack the spinach in as much as you can get right uh i don't do you know
[00:17:34.510] the recipe off the top of your head no i haven't been doing it recently so you told me to get
[00:17:40.810] ground flaxseed so i do a little scoop of that flaxseed and wheat germ yeah i didn't get that
[00:17:47.010] yet but i do a protein powder because it's like a substitute for my meal and i i put that in there
[00:17:53.810] yeah i was like 345 bro at my max weight i was i was like vince wilford wow yeah oh my gosh yeah
[00:18:01.510] yeah i was feeling pretty bad but then after i quit it quit you know drugs and drinking and i
[00:18:07.190] quit cigarettes i had this coping where i needed to cope still at night you need to eat ah i under
[00:18:14.790] i i can relate no i'm not that i can relate i can empathize like i can yeah you just you
[00:18:21.010] gotta replace it with like something mcdonald's became my thing and yeah yeah yeah i think
[00:18:29.310] cutting out fast food so is a big one i don't know i've i've struggled with weight as well
[00:18:35.890] um that smoothie that i gave you was something that i used to to lose weight and then i'm
[00:18:42.030] recently this year off a bunch of weight but nothing is crazy as like um you know i was never
[00:18:48.770] 345 i mean that's that's uh that's up there bro i'm so proud of you that's a like a defensive
[00:18:57.970] tackle on a three four defense i'm supposed to plug the run you know
[00:19:04.030] hell yeah man swim yeah oh man but i'm super proud of you see i've only ever known you since
[00:19:12.810] you've been in recovery yeah so this is all news to me like i have no idea dealing with that or
[00:19:19.490] going through that stuff i've only ever known you as love you've only ever shown love to me so i
[00:19:24.290] mean that's that's insane it's uh the transformation from how i felt before it was like i was trapped
[00:19:33.820] you know i felt like i was trapped in this this light this cycle of life like with drugs and
[00:19:39.780] alcohol and uh to be able to it's it's really unfortunate it had to lead to something like that
[00:19:47.890] to happen for me to recognize it but now for me one i want to get back in my daughter's life
[00:19:56.780] and i'll go to any length i have to do that and um you know i don't want to cause more problems
[00:20:04.700] or you know like any of that but um it's changed everything like i'm a direct support professional
[00:20:11.140] now and i help like i said i help men with disabilities um i love it man like i love
[00:20:18.280] helping people now um helping people stay sober um being available for people that need help
[00:20:25.860] or even preferably not if you need to be moved out of your house.
[00:20:30.220] I don't like helping people move.
[00:20:32.000] No moving?
[00:20:32.940] No.
[00:20:33.880] Keep that in mind.
[00:20:35.140] But I will help you.
[00:20:36.040] I'll help you, bro.
[00:20:36.800] I got you.
[00:20:37.980] Yeah.
[00:20:38.580] But if you need someone to help move furniture.
[00:20:41.960] But I think for my recovery, being selfless is the best medicine I've ever had.
[00:20:49.980] I just want to help other people.
[00:20:51.800] it gets me out of myself because the way my disease works is once i become selfish
[00:20:57.400] fuck everybody it's all about me yeah so i love the whole like i'm not hurting anybody but myself
[00:21:07.620] the justification it's like oh man you're hurting everybody but glad you were able to recognize that
[00:21:15.960] what are some ways like you you said you wish you would have known you could have got help sooner
[00:21:20.260] Or what, like, how can somebody get help if they're struggling with addiction?
[00:21:32.220] For me, AA has been a huge thing.
[00:21:34.600] You know, the anonymous programs.
[00:21:36.640] I know I'm not supposed to promote it, but it's been a huge help for me.
[00:21:43.280] Rehab.
[00:21:44.280] I know nobody wants to go to rehab.
[00:21:46.400] Yeah.
[00:21:47.060] But if you can get 28 days to go there and they're just going to teach you the things
[00:21:51.400] you need to know to move on in your life.
[00:21:52.820] I read, so I've never been to rehab one time and it was back a month.
[00:21:59.370] It was a month before COVID really started.
[00:22:03.460] And I remember being in rehab, being at that low point, man, where I was just like, I can't
[00:22:08.260] do this anymore.
[00:22:09.740] Finally went and got help.
[00:22:11.910] And, um, actually that's when Kobe Bryant passed away.
[00:22:15.230] And I remember that piece.
[00:22:16.970] I remember, I remember that whole place.
[00:22:21.210] Just everybody couldn't believe it was real.
[00:22:24.380] um the super bowl was going on around that time but then kovat started and uh went to rehab and
[00:22:32.160] i learned a bunch of stuff i loved what i learned but i got out and i drank at somebody you know
[00:22:38.200] did you yeah i was picked up my old resentful ways i didn't start i i didn't work the program
[00:22:45.040] i went back out and uh was drinking and um made it a while and uh then this happened
[00:22:54.560] for that i'm hoping to be a one-time relapser and uh because i can't go back out there for me
[00:23:03.630] for me the alcoholic like me it's drink is to die and i if i decide to i think also
[00:23:12.120] you know you see how many advertisements do you see for alcohol all the time everywhere right
[00:23:19.290] all the time in fact i really hope they don't plug this episode watch we go viral there's a
[00:23:26.340] ton of views and they all of a sudden the corona commercial comes on i don't think they could do
[00:23:31.200] that on youtube but yeah if i monetize i can't control my ads they're everywhere all over the
[00:23:36.800] internet billboards driving tv i mean i'm gonna mark this one for kids just no
[00:23:43.960] but you were saying yeah the advertisement is everywhere yeah it's like you're groomed into it
[00:23:52.750] it's normalized so much for me to just for everyone to drink um forget what point i was
[00:24:00.340] getting at with this but uh yeah it's everywhere it is everywhere man and and uh what's crazy is
[00:24:08.440] you know i mean i also got into harder stuff right but that harder stuff yeah i'd mess with
[00:24:16.170] you a lot obviously but i've never blacked out on a lot of and the other things that i did
[00:24:21.490] where alcohol you can become belligerent blackout and drive your car you know that stuff's crazy
[00:24:28.250] but uh it's just out there and um it's not gonna go anywhere so gotta make some internal changes
[00:24:37.630] and that's what i've been trying to do i work with people i have sponsees um we go we uh we go
[00:24:46.050] i just like to go do things now active like because my life before i would um i never wanted
[00:24:54.400] to go do anything i remember i used to love fishing as a kid yeah just this is just an example
[00:24:59.740] i loved fishing so much going fishing paintball all these things but once you become an adult
[00:25:05.860] and you're drinking this is how my my my mindset is and i know other people that would agree with
[00:25:10.820] me you would rather just drink and talk about those things we should go we should go do that
[00:25:18.670] sometime yeah yeah we should go fishing we should go do that and then when no one ends up going at
[00:25:24.110] least that my friends and and the maybe the depression mixed in there i just didn't want
[00:25:30.170] to go do stuff when i was drinking now i go on hikes um i just my whole life has changed in such
[00:25:38.710] a drastic way i wish i could have did a podcast before of how i was so you guys podcast before
[00:25:45.170] yeah like of like how i was when i was like addicted and drinking no we don't want to hear
[00:25:50.410] that man we want this guy yeah we want this right right for sure you have so much to offer the world
[00:25:56.630] you know what i mean rather than be selfish or in your own drunken stupor you can put something out
[00:26:02.610] And look, I know we, everybody says, oh, if it just changes one person's life, like that
[00:26:11.100] one person is real.
[00:26:12.460] That one person is real.
[00:26:13.960] They've reached out to me.
[00:26:15.180] They've reached out to other creators.
[00:26:16.920] I know, you know, we have all these channels for people to reach out directly.
[00:26:21.000] So don't be surprised if someone reaches out, like you will hear from someone that just
[00:26:25.700] has to thank you for them doing it.
[00:26:28.020] It may not be right now.
[00:26:29.460] It may be in a while, maybe a year from now.
[00:26:32.400] somebody says hey man listen it's been a year since i had my last drink i i heard your podcast
[00:26:36.900] and this is uh this is how i took it so i mean who knows and if not man i'm just glad that you
[00:26:44.540] can get that off your chest man that's a lot yeah it's a lot it's definitely something that
[00:26:51.320] changed my life in a whole different direction um i don't recommend it for people that are
[00:26:56.580] struggling struggling to get to a point where you make a devastating like catastrophic event like
[00:27:02.520] this and from what i've noticed a lot of the people i go to like a meetings every day i see
[00:27:09.900] all sorts of different people what they're struggling with they call them high bottoms
[00:27:13.440] they call them low bottoms but at the end of the day i don't really think there's a difference i
[00:27:18.900] mean there's definitely a there is a difference but like if you've gotten to a point where you
[00:27:22.380] can only handle i remember how i felt before the accident right miserable hopeless scared
[00:27:31.580] angry and it doesn't matter at that point was my lowest right and i ended up getting into that
[00:27:39.770] accident after obviously it was low but i don't you can have a high bottom but you could just
[00:27:48.010] have had enough you know like yeah nothing around your world has been destroyed once once i got
[00:27:56.450] sober my health has changed clarity mental clarity man like i i've never had it before like this you
[00:28:03.840] you're always in a fog yeah yeah and uh i also have like a fast mind maybe an 80 undiagnosed
[00:28:12.770] adhd or something maybe and um i've been able to sit down and read that is crazy for me man because
[00:28:21.310] i could read out loud to you but i would never ever get like just read yeah oh man that's nuts
[00:28:28.430] yeah my mind was so full of i have peace now you know started meditating the same recently yeah
[00:28:36.860] every day or oh i'm trying dude it's not really my thing but i have i try to start my day off
[00:28:46.650] with it and i do see the benefits of it you know i i even with the gym if i when i started going
[00:28:54.430] to the gym my fat ass would go there for the for 10 minutes sometimes in the beginning and now i
[00:29:03.080] go for like an hour i do a mile on the treadmill i do a different body part each day um and you
[00:29:12.910] know it's a it's a cycle for me it starts slow and eventually it gets to a point where i'm doing good
[00:29:19.690] and uh yeah man the progress man the progress it's insane you'll be seeing your daughter a
[00:29:29.220] lot more than an hour every two weeks yeah you know you just gotta run with the system
[00:29:33.520] you know they they go um you know there's the story's not about me but in legal trouble that
[00:29:41.740] i've had before always tried to be accountable like look i did something to be here like it's
[00:29:49.090] not the system's fault it's not these people and at least everybody that you know the people in
[00:29:55.990] authority really respected that about me and it was complete they didn't make it a hard time for
[00:30:01.230] me they didn't have to do any of that sort of stuff you know so it's it's uh it sucks that it
[00:30:10.710] had to go through such lengths but i'm trying to think about all the positives out of it yeah you
[00:30:17.290] know what i mean if something bad would have happened to your daughter would you really have
[00:30:21.330] gotten sober that was one of the first things that i recognized in myself if that didn't happen and
[00:30:29.610] it sounds selfish right a little bit and it's i don't like saying it but no i don't think that's
[00:30:36.590] i i hear what you're saying it sounds selfish i disagree i i i hear what you're saying i mean
[00:30:42.150] you got to find the light in it it could have been worse i think it give it's given me an opportunity
[00:30:48.370] to change a lot of people lot people's lives and she turned out she's okay she's a beautiful little
[00:30:58.030] girl man um but yeah so i'm gonna i want to start going to school soon to become a counselor
[00:31:06.630] um and i get a certification also in one month i can become a certified recovery specialist when
[00:31:13.730] you hit 18 months um you can be a certified recovery specialist i can work in rehabs and
[00:31:19.850] just i want to spread the message man i want to dig you know dedicate my life to this kind of
[00:31:25.710] stuff helping people um i have so much motivation now to do these kind of things um yeah um i'm
[00:31:40.100] gonna get you i'm gonna get you podcasting yeah help you get the stuff to put together man because
[00:31:45.520] you got a great voice for it sound comfortable i mean you have a message to spread so i mean
[00:31:52.820] yeah i'll help in any way that i can definitely i'll order pizza no we're not we're not doing
[00:31:59.610] that we're eating healthy i'm actually it's about noon right now we'll start landing the
[00:32:04.110] plane here in a second and i'll go buy lunch you want to grab there's a nice place uh shout out to
[00:32:08.790] union and finch and ed over there have you ever eaten at union and finch no oh man i'm gonna take
[00:32:14.810] you there after here okay it's real good um the owner ed over there uh he's got a good place he
[00:32:22.610] started they're like in our neighborhood we can walk there but he started a little bit before
[00:32:28.130] corona and then shortened the menu up made it through corona and the places it's always packed
[00:32:34.410] every time i go so um great brunch maybe what is it noon we could still probably get brunch
[00:32:41.130] but um do you have anything you're promoting that you want to shout out now would be the time
[00:32:47.970] do we follow you on twitter instagram do you have anything like that or i don't not yet
[00:32:58.760] all right we'll get you set up yeah i i like i would love to uh just really just let people
[00:33:06.540] know that you're not alone you know when it comes to sobriety you're getting sober and it's not as
[00:33:11.920] bad as you think like i remember oh my god those people are sober they gotta be like they're like
[00:33:16.540] has to suck like i don't know why my my mind always thought that there's a stigma behind um
[00:33:23.440] there's definitely a stigma behind addicts and alcoholics i also would like to get rid of
[00:33:29.520] you know um when i see someone on the street suffering um you know there's a lot of times
[00:33:37.560] people would be like oh they should get up and go get a job and go work and do these things and
[00:33:42.000] And it's not that simple. You don't know what's battlefields going on in that person's mind
[00:33:47.880] that we just, we just don't know. And I just want to be an advocate for people
[00:33:54.950] to be able to get recovered. If you use AA, if you use NA, if there's all sorts of ways to get
[00:34:01.570] sober and stay sober. And, uh, I just want to be able to help people. So I'll try to get on
[00:34:09.470] social media. I'll try to get stuff like that going. You'll help me out with that. I know
[00:34:13.730] and uh yeah for now though that's probably it for now all right man well we have ryan on the show
[00:34:24.850] complete complete absolute savagery completely brave to go out and put his uh business out there
[00:34:33.950] and show you that it's about the experience strength and hope it's about who he is now
[00:34:38.870] i've only ever known him and just learned some things about his past today so um big shout out
[00:34:46.310] this is i will not lose podcasts where we explore stories of success learn from failure and prove
[00:34:52.390] that everything is learned from failure as long as we persevere and pick ourselves up support the
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[00:35:09.430] links and stuff you can find this all on there but um your contribution is appreciated whatever
[00:35:16.170] you do thank you for listening thank you